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The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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  • AifeAife LondonPosts: 2,169 Moderator
    Hey @kathleen0172 aww I hope she'll be okay. I know it can be tough when the vets won't do anything to help. I hope you managed to get some sleep last night <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
    Kathleen07
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,936 Postholic
    Thank you @Aife <3
    Aife
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Carer/Craft Lover Posts: 2,548 Mega Poster
    Ahhh still in so much pain this morning 
    “ I believe that you have the power to achieve whatever you put your mind too, You are living a life’s most people won’t  ever understand but that’s what will Be the root of all your determination and success. You have a soul full of love and kindness and I just know that despite all the hardship, a life’s of happiness awaits you and I’m very proud of you, just keep holding on” 
    Kathleen07
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,670 Boards Champion
    edited April 2019
    My olddd best friend from my like secondary school started randomly ringing me today. Totally shit me up lol. 
    Was thinking - whys she ringing me - realise ive not replied to her messages from months ago from last year :(:///..... same with everyone. I can half see the message in which says "do you remember this from 2016" i want to reply but somethig stopping me. She will think im rude. But she still sending lots of "x"s on her messages some how - id of given up with me by this time- i think she knows something wrong with me and am depressed so iscolate myself without realising soemtimes
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,670 Boards Champion
    Glad i opened the message. Made me smile with the photos and the videos she sent that we did together ahaha. I miss having a social life. She saying she doesnt think im rude but need to meet up. I just know this wont happen. Im so messed up
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07Aife
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Carer/Craft Lover Posts: 2,548 Mega Poster
    Really wish this pain would go away 😭
    “ I believe that you have the power to achieve whatever you put your mind too, You are living a life’s most people won’t  ever understand but that’s what will Be the root of all your determination and success. You have a soul full of love and kindness and I just know that despite all the hardship, a life’s of happiness awaits you and I’m very proud of you, just keep holding on” 
    Kathleen07
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,936 Postholic
    Help. Just help. Please please help. HELP. Heeeeelllpp. Thanks.
    Millie2787AifeShaunie
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,936 Postholic
    WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME. WHAT. HELP:((((((
    Shaunie
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Carer/Craft Lover Posts: 2,548 Mega Poster
    Really struggling this week with feeling so anxious and low , I didn’t go to college today and I don’t think I can go to placement tomorrow or into college on Friday, which just means I get the joys of being told off for my attendance dropping again . Not my fault April is a really hard month for me 😭Not that anyone carers lol I just talk shit 
    “ I believe that you have the power to achieve whatever you put your mind too, You are living a life’s most people won’t  ever understand but that’s what will Be the root of all your determination and success. You have a soul full of love and kindness and I just know that despite all the hardship, a life’s of happiness awaits you and I’m very proud of you, just keep holding on” 
    Kathleen07
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,670 Boards Champion
    edited April 2019
     Well i just killed Sid.


     Sid is spider who only comes out at night and stays in the corner of the bathroom. So i thought okay youre not doing any harm ill leave you there if know only go there and stay there- tho fuck knows where you go for the rest of the day. I used to be so scared of spiders when younger that every room i went in i would l look at every wall checking for spiders before going in - so i put a lot of trust in Sid. 


    He's only gone and went near the toilet and not in his corner. So yeah i was like sorry Sid. Cant trust you anymore and youre going to have to die. 


    Well kinda feel bad now haha & my sister will be mad lol. And Will miss him when i go for a wee at night lol

    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07Kasa2103Millie2787
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,936 Postholic
    Hugs across the thread <3 xx 
    ShaunieMillie2787
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Carer/Craft Lover Posts: 2,548 Mega Poster
    Have the doctors at ten past 3 about the pain and I’m dreading it 😥
    “ I believe that you have the power to achieve whatever you put your mind too, You are living a life’s most people won’t  ever understand but that’s what will Be the root of all your determination and success. You have a soul full of love and kindness and I just know that despite all the hardship, a life’s of happiness awaits you and I’m very proud of you, just keep holding on” 
    Kathleen07Aife
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,936 Postholic
    Good luck @Millie2787 x
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,936 Postholic
    Can someone take the brain-pain away please? Just help me find the strength to live lol...
    Millie2787
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,670 Boards Champion
    edited April 2019
    Someone on my mental health awareness corse said they have a bug of sickness and diahree and probs best to sit further a way lol so i did but i really hate being near people who are sick and mentally makes me feel sick too just thinking about it. Idk how explain. But like when my sistees used to get ill - i would be ill too and i really dont think it was a physical thing i think its cause i think about having it so much and think about being ill and catching it so mentally that the anxiety makes me feel sick. I hope so cause i want to lose weight
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,936 Postholic
    edited April 2019
    I feel horrible. Just utterly sad, hopeless, exasperated, alone, and really trapped. Not to mention all these thoughts that won't go away and they're distressing me. I also feel paranoid (if you didn't see my post on the ranty thread, I feel a slight doomy and unwelcoming feeling, like everyone's angry at me or something).

    And I'm fantasising about death basically. I'm safe though. Not that anyone needs to know.

    Might just try to sleep. Actually I'm kinda desperate to. I was just googling ways to make yourself fall asleep lol. Bad coping mechanism and I doubt I'll succeed but...

    I just dk what to do and I feel so so so bad. To laugh or to cry is the question. Think I'll just go hysterical instead.

    I really kind of need to calm down but I can't. 'Cause my brain won't shut up. I'm not in crisis like I said but I feel really really really bad.
    Millie2787
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Carer/Craft Lover Posts: 2,548 Mega Poster
    edited April 2019
    I’m so tired of everything now and I’m weridly so scared about going in the tubes on the weekend 
    “ I believe that you have the power to achieve whatever you put your mind too, You are living a life’s most people won’t  ever understand but that’s what will Be the root of all your determination and success. You have a soul full of love and kindness and I just know that despite all the hardship, a life’s of happiness awaits you and I’m very proud of you, just keep holding on” 
    Kathleen07
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,936 Postholic
    edited April 2019
    Oh my god, I feel kind of dramatic and like an attention-seeker:((

    For this minute I feel a bit calmer. I just spent some time drawing with a pen on my skin. Sounds weird but it had this grounding, soothing effect. Guess I better take note of that for next time.

    ...Yeah, I've still got all these horrible feelings and thoughts overwhelming me but I think it just got really bad for an hour or two... I'm a lil calmer now. Though my chest hurts a bit which is probably from stress. And I think I'm shaking a bit. Sounds mad but...

    I'm probably going to go write about stuff now 'cause I've got so many thoughts and feelings overwhelming me. (though don't worry, I'll do it in private so as not to annoy you all).
    Shaunie
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,670 Boards Champion
    edited April 2019
    Shaunie said:
     Well i just killed Sid.


     Sid is spider who only comes out at night and stays in the corner of the bathroom. So i thought okay youre not doing any harm ill leave you there if know only go there and stay there- tho fuck knows where you go for the rest of the day. I used to be so scared of spiders when younger that every room i went in i would l look at every wall checking for spiders before going in - so i put a lot of trust in Sid. 


    He's only gone and went near the toilet and not in his corner. So yeah i was like sorry Sid. Cant trust you anymore and youre going to have to die. 


    Well kinda feel bad now haha & my sister will be mad lol. And Will miss him when i go for a wee at night lol

    Well i saw nother spider today & totally scared shit out of me and killed it. Well now do feel bad. First Sid now some other one lol. Now parniod spiders everywhere so moved my bed away from the wall. - i dont think will even help me get away from spiders lol but maybe a bit. I dont think its spider season? Omg hTe that time of year
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,670 Boards Champion
    edited April 2019
    I hAve no money for anything and i owe my family about £200. Im not getting paid anytime soon and £200 is what i get paid every month. I need to also pay extra £50 a month to my dad.

    So if i do not kill myself from money stress. I will def stArve to def from lAck of food/ money😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,936 Postholic
    Still drawing/writing on my skin in an attempt to keep the calm. It's honestly littered now. But skin has a way more calming and expressive feel to it than paper.

    Yeah, feels like I have physical symptoms. And I'm kind of scared it's a heart attack. It's not. But I've just been generally scared about my health lately. I keep feeling like I could have a heart attack and die any second. Idek why - maybe it's based around a feeling of stress and no control, god knows. And I have slight concerns about my heart - nothing urgent, just on and off concern for about a year. I was meant to have an ecg but was too uncomfortable - should go back really.

    Omg... I'm seriously so distressed.
    Millie2787
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Sunny ScotlandPosts: 3,195 Ultimate Poster
    Does anyone else feel like they're paying catchup to their friends that don't have mental illnesses? yeahh, that's kinda how I feel right now and its getting me down...
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
    Kathleen07Millie2787
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,936 Postholic
    I really need a break :pensive: Wouldn't mind hugs either I guess lol.
    BubblesGoesBooMillie2787
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Carer/Craft Lover Posts: 2,548 Mega Poster
    Everything was my fault , it was my fault Albie and nana B died 😭 all my stupid fault ! 
    “ I believe that you have the power to achieve whatever you put your mind too, You are living a life’s most people won’t  ever understand but that’s what will Be the root of all your determination and success. You have a soul full of love and kindness and I just know that despite all the hardship, a life’s of happiness awaits you and I’m very proud of you, just keep holding on” 
    Kathleen07
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,936 Postholic
    Everything was my fault , it was my fault Albie and nana B died 😭 all my stupid fault ! 
    Aww Aimee, what makes you say that?:( It definitely wasn't your fault. Sending hugs <3
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Carer/Craft Lover Posts: 2,548 Mega Poster
    Everything was my fault , it was my fault Albie and nana B died 😭 all my stupid fault ! 
    Aww Aimee, what makes you say that?:( It definitely wasn't your fault. Sending hugs <3
    It was , they were both all my fault , I stressed my sister out and didn’t spot soon enough that NaN was ill , so yes it was definitely my fault :(
    “ I believe that you have the power to achieve whatever you put your mind too, You are living a life’s most people won’t  ever understand but that’s what will Be the root of all your determination and success. You have a soul full of love and kindness and I just know that despite all the hardship, a life’s of happiness awaits you and I’m very proud of you, just keep holding on” 
    Kathleen07
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,936 Postholic
    Everything was my fault , it was my fault Albie and nana B died 😭 all my stupid fault ! 
    Aww Aimee, what makes you say that?:( It definitely wasn't your fault. Sending hugs <3
    It was , they were both all my fault , I stressed my sister out and didn’t spot soon enough that NaN was ill , so yes it was definitely my fault :(
    Oh, I'm really sorry that's how you feel <3 But I promise, it wasn't your fault at all. You couldn't exactly have known that your nan was ill, and even if you did, I'm not sure there was anything you could've done. And stressing your sister out has nothing to do with Albie, if anything, it was coincidence.

    It's too easy to blame ourselves for this stuff, and look for even the smallest of things we could've done wrong. I've always blamed myself for Abby(my other guinea pig)'s death. But you're not at fault buddy <3
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Carer/Craft Lover Posts: 2,548 Mega Poster
    Nahhh everything’s my fault

    but just ignore me looking for attention as usual 
    “ I believe that you have the power to achieve whatever you put your mind too, You are living a life’s most people won’t  ever understand but that’s what will Be the root of all your determination and success. You have a soul full of love and kindness and I just know that despite all the hardship, a life’s of happiness awaits you and I’m very proud of you, just keep holding on” 
    Kathleen07
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,936 Postholic
    Nahhh everything’s my fault

    but just ignore me looking for attention as usual 
    Not gonna ignore you. And even if you were just looking for attention, you deserve it and there's nothing wrong with wanting it, right? xx
  • AidanAidan Potato Posts: 1,598 Postholic
    Hugs to everyone who needs/wants one  <3
    Kathleen07
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