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Dependency

SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
I think I'm dependent on a over the counter drug. It's costing me a lot each week. Ive tried lowing the dose back to the actual amount - suppose to take but it's not working and feel like i need to live on them. And like i need to take them and my body isn't responding to the actual amount. ??? Is that even possible they are just over the counter? What do i do?
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you Adian. They are drugs i used as for weight loss don't want to be to specific:) and I also regret taking over the counter sleeping pills. Because probably a reason i barely can get to sleep.
    Mental health team tell me to go see my doctors but I find it quite awkward.
    I've tried everything on the internet about the drug abuse after eating disorder. But nothing seems to be working . And the side affects of not taking them aren't great so im not sure what else i can do at home expect keep taking them
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you Ella!! :)

    I've just been reading on Beats about laxative abuse and has really concerned me and how dangerous it actually is. So i hope you start lowing the dose each day - instead if upping. If that's what you're abusing.

    Not sure what to expect but Will take you're advice going to my GP once I find the courage:)
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    My support for my eating has literally just finished. But i have an hour check up with someone at the end of this month so maybe could say it then.
    I feel like it's something quite judgy thing to say to someone and my GP who probably are aware of it but aren't really specialised in it. May look at me like wtf have i been doing. I dont know but I'm so much better with my eatin and it's really not something i want to keep taking
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    I have the appointment today and I'm so scared. I dont even know why. I can't even not go cause they empathised how long it took to find a appoitntment with hardly any staff and to make the most out of it. But isnt even the therapist i had & someone ive never meet.
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Ellaa thank you < 3

    I was completely honest. And i will be getting blood tests this week and general obs. & health check up with my gp -hopefully be okay. And to go hospital if I show signs of dehydration

    Went as well as it could off expect from crying infont of someone i dont know & I'm just annoyed they couldn't remove my diagnosis or change it to bulimia
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,285 Part of The Furniture
    Well done Shaunie and good on you for getting through it. :)

    I know crying in front of a stranger can be really difficult, but it's really brave to let yourself be vulnerable like that. It also shows them that you were being genuine and that can be really valuable. How're you feeling about things, having gotten the appointment out the way?
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    I thought i would feel better and i Did feel better But after reading my letter of discharge from them I feel a bit upset and scared. Even tho i knew but idk just reading it upset me.

    I had my check up. They said my blood pressure was really low. And they did a squat test. Like Wtf I was not expecting that. So random and awkward. & depending on results of blood tests would be infrequent if they dont show anything
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • DreaDrea Posts: 292 The Mix Regular
    How are you feeling today Shaunie?

    Drea:heart:
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Very shit .
    I'm walking to hosspital for abusing these way to far.
    My family are going to be so disappointed when they find out :(
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • JamesJames Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Hey Shaunie,

    So sorry to hear you're feeling like this - sounds like things are all getting a bit much?
    Really well done for taking yourself to hospital though. That's a brave, positive step and is something to be proud of no matter how your family react :yes:

    I hope they're able to help you when you get there and do let us know how you get on :)

    Good luck!
    James
  • JamesJames Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Hey again Shaunie,

    As you requested, I've taken down your last post. It's good to hear you're getting help - I hope things seem a little better soon.

    Keep us posted :)

    James
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you. All okay now :)
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Shaunie wrote: »
    Thank you. All okay now :)


    Very good to hear :) . party0025.gif

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