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I don't belong anywhere

ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 6,169 The Mix Elder
Again sorry for post. Im in a pretty bad place atm.
So I always found it hard to speak to people cause im a really shy anxious person. I feel like I can't mix with any social groups. Like you get the "popular kids", emos, sort of chavy, bitchy ones, ones that just go out having sex with random guys, confident ones, bit of a odd ball ones ECT. But I dont class myself or fit in any of them.
I've never really had friends. I have but only because of my twin sister. Who was with the "popular kids" but I can't be bothered to speak to them anymore cause they have turned bitchy. And im jealous of my sister because she's a lot more confident.
I did have one friend that wasnt my sisters as well but ended badly. When she started saying things like "I want cancer so my ex will feel sorry for me" and was proabbly a compulsive liar. So we're not really friends.
My point being is, I can't make friends or belong anywhere. Im not emo, chavy or anything. I try to make friends but I'm a nervous reck. I always feel on edge. Every day at college and second i hate. I feel people are making comments about me or staring. I try general conversations with people but it's hard. And I feel like even if i do make friends. It's to much effort to stay friends. And im starting to believe that when my doctor said it's more then shyness and mild social anxiety that she was right.
I dont know what to do. I like being alone but hate feeling so lonely.
“If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care” Marvin J. Ashton

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does your twin sister have the mental health problems that you have? Why is she confident but you're not?

    You have a good point about cliques, subcultures etc. If you don't fit into them and aren't popular, you can become an outcast. Do you want to change and become part of any of those groups?
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 6,169 The Mix Elder
    My twin dont have any mental health problems. She can be really shy with new people as well. So im not sure how she makes friends.
    I wouldn't say im an outcast, cause I dont exaclty get rejected.
    I'm not sure what I want. I just don't want to feel lonely but like being alone. But I think maybe I'm just isolating myself cause im depressed and can't be bothered with it anyway or with drama. Cause there was a point where I would go out and have a good time. But dont want to go out and when i do, I dont enjoy it.
    The only way I can make friends is if im off my face. But can't be like that all the time.
    “If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care” Marvin J. Ashton
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you ask her how she makes and keeps friends, and avoids becoming mentally ill, you might be able to copy her.
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 6,169 The Mix Elder
    Aw. I occasionally speak to a friend over text who I spoke to only in lesson and gonna meet her in prezzo's tomorrow.
    “If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care” Marvin J. Ashton
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