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Possible stalker? 🤔

One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 605 Incredible Poster
I'm actually writing this after the fact or more because he tried to add me on Facebook recently.

So when I started college back in 2011 there was this guy, I had spoken to him a few times but wouldn't say we were exactly friends. It was more just a quick "hello how are you?" When we crossed paths.

I soon started bumping into him more almost as of he was following me. I would go the college shop and he would be there. I would go the toilet and he would be outside the toilets, I would be in the coffee room and he would just turn up (it was a coffee room tho so that could just be he wanted be there) I don't drink coffee tho lol. My friends also said they found his behaviour quite weird as he wasn't exactly trying to join in with the group (group of friends) but more just being everywhere I was. I stopped talking to him when I noticed this. He did the same

we went on a trip to a different college to do some charity work as part of pur course.

At the end the college were taking those who needed it back tonthe college on a minni bus I decided to walk home as I only lived 5 minutes away. He caught up with me as I was leaving and said he lived at .....
(Same town as me) and might as well walk with me.

I was a little unsure as I found him a bit strange but I said ok.
He near enough walked with me to my house. Although I walked to the street before my street because I didn't want him to know where I lived.

At the house I said I lived at he smiled and said he had to ho catch his bus to ........
(A town not far from our college)
I found this extremely awkward.

Then another night I was waiting outside the college and he was walking past and asked what I was doing.

I told him I was waiting for my dad who would be here any minute (he would actually be 15 minutes) . He just stood with me not really doing much.

I felt uncomfortable so said I was going meet my dad at his works. He offered to walk with me. I told him no because my dad was very strict and wouldn't like me to walk with any guy to his works (this was a lie) he was like "oh ok" But I felt him watching me as far as he could.

He carried on just turning up and being in most of the places I was a lot. Until I spoke to my tutor who didn't really say much about it other than "prehaps he's just lonely" he did have a few friends tho.

After that I didn't see him as often unless it was just passing in the corridor or sometimes in the shop.

I was 17 at the time and just put it back of my mind until now. Obviously I've declined his friend request but it just got me thinking.

Was he actually stalking me?

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    DreaDrea Posts: 292 The Mix Regular
    Hey One in a million (I've forgotten if your name is Steph?),

    That does seem a bit weird that he was following you around quite a bit. It's good that this was a while ago and probably a good idea that you didn't accept his friend request. We aren't really experts here on what is or isn't considered stalking. Here's a link which defined what stalking is: https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/crime-info/types-crime/stalking-and-harassment?gclid=CjwKEAiAuc_FBRD7_JCM3NSY92wSJABbVoxBeW_zw8T831RMqe2jPJJYDFC-v3a3ny-rX8Y0QU3yHhoCX8Hw_wcB .

    It's hard to distinguish between stalking and just someone coincidentally being there a lot where you are. I suppose if it makes you feel uncomfortable, that's when there's a warning sign. But better to read up on this! This is a good post for anyone who may not be sure if they have a stalker.

    Have a nice day,
    Drea:heart:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds like he was following you around. Is the attempted Facebook contact the only recent thing regarding him? If so, there isn't a problem - providing he doesn't know where you live, work etc.
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Drea wrote: »
    Hey One in a million (I've forgotten if your name is Steph?),

    That does seem a bit weird that he was following you around quite a bit. It's good that this was a while ago and probably a good idea that you didn't accept his friend request. We aren't really experts here on what is or isn't considered stalking. Here's a link which defined what stalking is: https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/crime-info/types-crime/stalking-and-harassment?gclid=CjwKEAiAuc_FBRD7_JCM3NSY92wSJABbVoxBeW_zw8T831RMqe2jPJJYDFC-v3a3ny-rX8Y0QU3yHhoCX8Hw_wcB .

    It's hard to distinguish between stalking and just someone coincidentally being there a lot where you are. I suppose if it makes you feel uncomfortable, that's when there's a warning sign. But better to read up on this! This is a good post for anyone who may not be sure if they have a stalker.

    Have a nice day,
    Drea:heart:

    Drea OIAM is not Steph
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    I think it would just be easier to call us by what our username is at that time.

    OIAM sorry to tramp in on your thread lovely
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd say it was creepy, but not necessarily stalkery unless he made a effort to find your home; where your classes were; all your friends and family and what they do and so on.

    If this Facebook request is the only recent thing, and as long as nothing weird starts again, I'd try to move past it for my benefit:)
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    One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 605 Incredible Poster
    Hi Guys thanks for the replies, I'm actually fine about it but this was just more curiousity than anything as it just got me thinking about it.

    This Facebook request is the most recent thing and it has been a while since I last saw him. So I doubt anything would start up again anyway.

    Thanks guys hope everyones ok

    Emma Xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good to know you're ok x
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