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Court

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Hi guys I'm sorry but I think I'm going get. Y other thred deleted. Looking through it I feel that prehaps I've given too much info about my court case. This could have an affect on the case if anyone was to find out about it.

Just wanna say thanks you guys for your support. I'll let you know I've had a call back from counselling and I've got a place next week for consolling, they kinda put me through quickly due to what I've told them.
Never had consolling before and im really scared about it :/

Cheers guys

Sam
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    I understand this Sam.

    What thread have you got deleted?

    I don't think you have given too much information out about it.

    It's great that you have counselling next week is it general counselling or through a rape and sexual violence centre?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Has anyone told you that the thread might be deleted?

    As long as you don't give names, places etc. - and you don't tell anyone in real life about posting here, there shouldn't be a problem in that regard.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No one has told me, but I feel it might be best if it was. I think due to what I've spoken about on there someone might realise who I am especially if someone involved was to see it.

    Hey Steph it's through a rape and sexual violence centre
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The chance of the judge or one of the jurors or barristers in your trial reading your thread is tiny. Even if they do, there's no way to connect it to you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi thanks guy decided get it deleted just in case thanks tho.

    College hasn't been too bad just lately everything seems to have settled down a bit
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Update us about further developments.

    At least the rapists are in prison now. Even that won't stop them raping, because they're raping in prison instead of in public. If the authorities have any sense they will have remanded them to different prisons because they're much worse predators when they victimise together.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi guys it's over! Court is done with :)
    The sentencing should be some time early next month
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have they both been convicted of rape? Are they being kept in prison until they're sentenced?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Are they being kept in prision untill sentancing?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    I'm so pleased for you that court is over, they Obiously got found guilty waiting for their sentancing? Let's hope it's a long one!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi guys they have both been convicted of rape and are both in jail atm due to breach of bail conditions and they plan to keep them there until sentencing as they feel they are a public risk
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you both :)
    I had my first counselling session yesterday it actually wasn't that bad I suppose. Still felt a little awkward about talking to a stranger
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Wow you got your counselling quick!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Update us when you hear about what sentences they receive, Sam. It will probably be several years each - or more if they have long criminal records.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Yes! Tell us what sentance they get!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi guys. Thanks yeah Steph the NHS was a long waiting list so my friend recommended trying a local counselling place near us. Going give it a try and if I feel it's working I'll ask to be removed from the list so someone else who needs it can have it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sam, do you have to pay for the counselling that you're receiving? Do you know how many sessions you'll be having with your counsellor? I wouldn't take yourself off the NHS waiting list, because you may find you need NHS counselling as well because: a) you might not receive counselling for long enough with your current counsellor because they probably give no more than a certain number of sessions per client and/or b) you might not get on well with your current counsellor.
  • RhysRhys Posts: 295 The Mix Regular
    Do note in regards to counselling and therapies, you should only have one going at any given time. It's often advised (and told by some counsellors) to only have one going. So if you get accepted on the NHS one while on a different one, you may have to choose between the two.

    Some Counsellors allow multiple sessions but most (that I have experienced) don't.

    Just a bit of a heads up. It would be good to keep yourself on the NHS one though, as they could offer further services at a later date.

    You could also try therapyforyou which you can apply to have. It takes a few weeks, and sometimes they will place you on a course before hand, but heres their link:
    https://www.therapyforyou.co.uk/
    “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”― Bernard M. Baruch
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, only see one counsellor at a time. However, by the time Sam is seen by an NHS counsellor, he'll probably have finished seeing the counsellor he's seeing now. Telling the NHS about the counselling he's currently receiving may mean that the NHS take him off their waiting list for counselling - at least until the current counselling has finished.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How's the counselling going?

    Have the rapists been sentenced yet?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Hey Sam

    Have they been sentances yet?

    How's things?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi guys sorry I haven't been on here for a while. Thing have been like a messed up roller coaster that climbs steadily up a hill then plummets back down 😔

    My counselling is still hit and miss. I am not really making that good progress. While I am revealing bits a peices slowly. I go to tell them something and then completely brake down. Sentencing is on the 17th
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How often do you see your counsellor?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Are you going to the sentancing?

    I know you don't have to but I did as I wanted to hear from the judge how long he got.

    Things are expectedly to be up and down and allow that to happen.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The victim is told of the sentence on the day in any case. If it were me, I wouldn't go, because I wouldn't want to see the rapists again.
  • AoifeAoife Inactive Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    Hey Sam, I'm sorry to hear that you think you are not making good progress with your counselling. For many people it takes time to open up to someone and it is okay that you are revealing bits slowly. Opening up to someone is hard and for many of us building trust does take time. What you have been through is really challenging and you are so brave. Seeking support is such a great step and you should be really proud of the progress you have made so far. How often do you see your counsellor, do you feel you would benefit from more regular sessions?

    We are all here for you when you need to talk :)
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi guys I see my counsellor once a fortnight I think I'll leave it like that for the time being as I'm finding it quite hard to go to the sessions. My counsellor is really nice but it's just hard to talk about it right now.

    I am going to go the sentencing I want to hear for myself what they get hopefully it will be a long hard sentence.

    Today has been awful I ended up punching this guy in my class. my tutor walked out and someone was on about those horrible videos of kids getting beat up :/. A girl in my class commented that someone should stand up to them. This lead to one of the guys saying word for word "let's hope it's not Sam he might get raped again."

    I'm not a violent person but I just lost it and next thing I know his noes was bleeding.
    So the college are now investigating and it could lead to me being excluded for a short period of time.

    Most of the class are on my side apart from his friends of course.
    My tutor seemed more annoyed with me despite having witnesses to back me up with what happened.

    So I'm quite peed of atm and dunno wether go in tomorrow or call in sick. I feel so angry and annoyed and upset about it.

    But also ashamed that I actually hit him. I'm not a violent person and have never hit anyone until now 😔
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Could you change classes?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    That's fine Sam leave it as you want to leave it. Say as much or as little as you want.

    That's why I went to my rapists sentancing I wanted to hear for myself what he got! Please do tell us! And I'll be thinking of you on the 17th.

    Do you know yet if you have been excluded for a short period of time?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi, nah I wasn't excluded just give a verbal warning 🙄. The girl who is somwat involved (the one I stopped them harassing)
    Has become quite good friends with me so she is being very supportive 😊.

    He's been excluded tho lol!

    I'm scared about the 17th but also can't wait to hear what they get!!!
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