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How important are families????

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
How important are families nowadays? Does anyone consider close friends part of your family structure, are you in a single parent family status. How does it affect you?

Personally my family is a big part of my life!!! I don't know what I would do without them!!! Obviously they get you down from time-to-time, but who doesn't!
My family background consists of just me and my mom living at home, (it's her b'day today!!!) and my older brothers (5) and sisters (2) my step sister. I also feel you can have extended members of your family, in my case my best friend is one of them, i have know for 15 years.
Some of your thoughts please!!!!!!!!![EMAIL]undefined[/EMAIL]undefined

[ 13-03-2002: Message edited by: beben ]

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello beben and welcome to TheSite. It may get you more response if you a)tell us a little about yourself by way of introduction
    and b) give your opinions on families, so people know your not just trying to get others to do your homework for you <IMG SRC="tongue.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    guide for newbies here

    Susie <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i feel that family are important but at the moment i seem to have fallen apart from them as i would much rather be with my boyfriend! <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmmmm my family has certainly 'evolved' over the years

    1) used to be me, my mum and my dad
    2) my dad died, so my grandparents moved in
    3) then my mum remarried and my grandparents moved out
    4) my mum got divorced cos the guy was a twat so it was back to just the two of us
    5) my mum married my step dad, and there are 5 of us including my stepsisters

    my family is really important to me, i know for some people family life is really rocky so im pretty greatful for what ive got <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by beben:
    <STRONG>How important are families nowadays? Does anyone consider close friends part of your family structure, are you in a single parent family status. How does it affect you?

    Personally my family is a big part of my life!!! I don't know what I would do without them!!! Obviously they get you down from time-to-time, but who doesn't!
    My family background consists of just me and my mom living at home, (it's her b'day today!!!) and my older brothers (5) and sisters (2) my step sister. I also feel you can have extended members of your family, in my case my best friend is one of them, i have know for 15 years.
    Some of your thoughts please!!!!!!!!![EMAIL]undefined[/EMAIL]undefined

    [ 13-03-2002: Message edited by: beben ]</STRONG>


    When i am home from uni in the holidays, it's just me, mum and dad. My brother lives in Liverpool with his girlfriend and i haven't seen him since June. I miss him! <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    My family is very important to me! Know they will always be there when i need them, and it's nice to know!

    <img src="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/mica/MiscDogrun.gif&quot; alt="image">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im not close to my parents because they are recovedring alcoholics - but i am very close 2 one of my bros, close to another and not close to my 3rd.
    To me (apart from my bros) friends are the most important thing to me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you so much people, for responding.
    Thank <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> you for your views on the issue!!!!!!

    <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am not close to my family. I have not really spoken to my Mother in over a year, something that makes me very sad.

    My family is all spread out, my mother and father don't get on but still live together.

    Both my parents worked long hours and up until I was 12 we had au-pairs to look after us. After that and when my big sister went to uni I was mostly left in the house on my own.

    I left home when I was 17, half thrown out and half wanted to go.

    My boyfriend's family is very close and although it is nice, it makes me feel sad to see them like that.

    I want to have a wonderful family life when I have kids and not have my kids feel like they can't talk to me and don't want to hug me. <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    (before i start thankyou beben for giving me the the chance to spill the quagmire that is my family)

    Firstly characters (if nobody reads this then thats k i'm not expecting replies i just want to get this off my chest.):

    Theres 5 in my family plus an au pair who lives with us:

    My Dad: Borderline alco but never gets drunk, its just he can only relax with a drink, possible manic depressive (ie very good taste in depressing music) (o and his mother was an M-D as well) he avoids venting any kind of feelings and so just bottles it up. Haven't a clue whether he still loves my mum. Oh and hes a complete workaholic and diabetic.

    I will get instalment two too you when i get home as i'm spending way too much money in this internet cafe as it is
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i've got quite a close family. I have two older brothers that i get on well with and we always stick up for each other.
    I have 4 sisters one a year younger that i could tell almost anything too and the other three i get on with and most of the time they are good fun. I am very close to two of my cousins like best friends and always look out for each other as well.
    My parents are laid bk kinda people and i get on great with them so i guess when i think about it i'm kinda lucky
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh dear.

    I have no idea where to begin.. but let's try to keep it simple.

    My parents married for all the wrong reasons--they didn't get on, they didn't love each other, they had vastly different world views. They separated when I was 16, and I (and my sis) went with my mother. Didn't speak to, or see, my dad for about 3 years. Had a restraining order, in fact. Have 3 half-sisters and a half-brother, all on my dad's side. So that's the very basic background.

    My dad was an alcoholic, and had a very hard life. We did start talking again after the whole restraining order business, but it was quite rocky. He was a hard man to get on with. We became really close over last summer, when he was in hospital (2 and a half months). I saw him almost every day, and we had long discussions about things we should have talked about years ago. Though he was there physically when I was growing up, he was very absent emotionally--he just wasn't that interested and too self-absorbed really. I really got to know him last summer and to properly understand him, and why he did a lot of the things he did. He died of cancer at the end of September. I do miss him dreadfully, and I have a lot of regrets. I should have made moves towards reconciliation much earlier. I feel that I've missed out on so much. I wish I could have understood him when I was growing up, though that is a lot to ask of a child. In retrospect I feel like I didn't appreciate him enough, and missing him is horrible, but I'm coming to terms with it.

    My mum... My mum was always my rock when I was growing up. She was the greatest, she could do no wrong. She was my motivation, pushed me to do well in school, gave me opportunities to do lots of extra-curriculars (ballet, violin, art, etc). When we left my dad (we went to a women's shelter) my mother cried a lot. I'd never really seen her cry before, and I took responsibility for her. Not that she's not strong--she is the strongest person I know. But I wanted to do everything I possibly could to make life easier for her, and that meant being very responsible very early. No wild teen years for me! Moving to uni, especially so far from home, has helped me see her more in perspective. I see a lot of her faults now that I never saw before. I also sat back and reassessed at Christmas when I went home. With dad gone, the whole family dynamic has changed, and a lot of the blame that fell on him didn't actually belong there. It doesn't mean that I love my mother any less, but she's more human now. More flawed. It takes a bit of the pressure off actually, and though I'm still a perfectionist I'm realizing that she can't possibly demand perfection of me. I can talk to her about almost everything, but there are a few areas to steer clear of (which I found by stepping on toes..oops!). She is usually supportive, and I don't know where I'd be without her. <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    Right--siblings.. a twin. My other half. Enough said. A half sister that I've only met once--she's a stranger to me really. Another half sister that I hadn't seen in a long time.. Saw her at my dad's funeral for the first time in 12 years. Now we're closer than ever. It's as if there was no time gap at all....Another half-sister who is married and has 3 kids.. has her own life, no time for me. My half brother is very bitter and is currently not speaking to any of us. I miss him, but it's his choice. We were really close when I was a kid, but I can't force him to deal with his problems differently.

    So there it is, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to my dysfunctional family!!

    xx

    [Edited...
    Eek! Sorry for the length folks! Congrats if you made it to the bottom.
    All of that being said, I just wanted to add that family is very important to me, possibly because we've all been estranged and I miss them all like hell. It's true that you don't realize what you have until it's gone.]


    [ 14-03-2002: Message edited by: Nikki_100 ]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks again people for your response to my question.
    Especially kathryn, melissa k-t, and nikki for sharing your story with all of us!

    <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my family i would count as very close but theres lots of changes throughout.

    i have my mum(best friend), my dad (stepdad), my father(total wanker),one sister,one brother(actually half), and two other half brothers(from the wanker and the slag)and three nans and grandads.

    my real dad left me my mum and my sis when i was two and my sis was a few months old he had an affair with my mums best friend. a month after my sister was born my first half brother came along but we didnt find out he was my half brother until i was three. i carried on seeing my father until i was about 5 or 6 every weeekend during this time the second half brother was born. the visits soon died down as i made mum make up excuses for me and then he stopped ringing and calling round!!!

    during this time mum met my dad when i was four he is the most wonderful person in the world and im more like him in everyway compared to my father. our birthdays are on the same day so maybe thats got something to do with!!! when i was 7 my fav little bro came along we get on great even though there is a 7 year gap he's my little man! mum and dad got married when he was two. my sister and me love to hate each other theres 2 years between us and we clash we both like diiferent things although i am changing her ways of thinking hehe. if shes not in when i get home the first thing i say is wheres jac and mum says she says the same too when im not in, so i think we do care bout each other in a funny kinda way. my mum is my best friend in the world i can tell her anything she has always been there for me through everything and i love her to bits she and my dad have made me what i am and inm very proud to say there my parents.

    back to the wanker(father) i hadnt seen him for 5 years until a couple of weeks ago. on my birthday he came round with my bday card the convo was very brief bout 20 secs and then i shut the door in his face. seeing him again made me feel physically sick.

    there is three other people who are extremly close in my life and they are my nanny and grandad from my mums side and my best friend david he's an extention on to the family!!!

    sorry for the long post hope it makes sence coz ive probably missed bits out!!!
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