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Have kept this to myself suffering in silence for ages

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I went out with this guy called Matt for a few months but we got really close in that time and I moved in with him and his brother in a gorgeous flat and matt said he loved me and he was so proud i got on with all his friends and his brother but then i did something really stupid and he said he couldn't be with me, i dont blame him one bit, a couple of months later i saw him in HMV and later he texted me saying "seeing you has brought all my feelings to the surface wanna go for a drink tomorrow?" i went and we ended up having the most passionate kiss and love making i've ever had and he said he felt the same but then after he didnt contact me again, i think it's because he couldn't stand what i done to him cos i hurt him badly and i regret it so much its unbelievable and now i so wish we could get back together. I cant stop thinking about him and it's been about a year since we spoke maybe not a whole year but nearly. He was the love of my life and i made a huge mistake but i so want him back,i havent got any contact details for him. Sorry, rant over, just needed to get it off my chest. Any advice, i know i'll never find anyone like him again.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dunno what advice I can give. Just the usual cheesy stuff about how you will find someone one day, and they will be all wonderful, and the love of your life, etc etc etc. Not much good, eh? But you know it's true. Getting over a relationship is like grieving over a death in some ways. There is a period of mourning. How long that lasts just depends upon you, what happened, how you handle it, if you meet someone new, etc. You know what most people say next - get over it and move on, there are plenty more fish in the sea, etc. No matter how true those words are you don't believe them. We've all been there though, often more than once.
    Not much advice there really, just stating the obvious. *shrugs*

    Mr_Wobble ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeh i agree with wobble, whatever anyone will say i don't suppose it will make you feel any better. although i think it was unfair of him to sleep with you again and then not to contact you. or maybe that was his closure or something.
    its definitly one of the worst feelings someone ever has to go through when you lose someone. because although they havent died you can't be with them. whenever i come out of a relationship i just have to think positively because you never know who is around the corner. you should spend more time with your mates, going out with them, even if you do have a good drunken cry it will all pass..eventually.
    hope you feel better soon x

    edited to say: the title of this msg is that you've suffered in silence..well do you have any close friends that you could talk to? it *definitly* helps to get it all out. especially since its most likely the person you're telling has probably been heartbroken too, most ppl have
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its all too easy to romaticise a relationship from the past making it seem like it was 100% great all the time, but thats distance for you.

    you say you'll never meet anyone so perfect again but how do you know?

    There were surely bad things in the relationship, after all you say you did something silly that split you up...would you have done that thing if the relationship was as perfect as you make out?

    Its not unusual to lust after a partner from long ago - it gives you something nice to think about. But try not to turn it in to an obsession...he didn't ring you after sleeping with you, perhaps he was taking his revenge?

    I think you will move on and you will find someone just as nice if not better.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wish my x sounded like u, she'l regret loosin me 1day i ope. ppl will come n go, im not b-in big head but i just turned a lovely girl dwn, i cudnt do it, im stil in love wid my x afta 2mths spilt.2day i took d engagement ring bak dat i brought her a week b4 she finished me, was gna b a bday present (sept). oh wel, beta to of loved n losted than neva to of loved at all. she hurt me big time but i stil int givin up, i was happy wid her even tho she mde me unhappy. wierd i no. just keep sufferin until it stops, no cure.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by DelicateHeart
    wish my x sounded like u, she'l regret loosin me 1day i ope. ppl will come n go, im not b-in big head but i just turned a lovely girl dwn, i cudnt do it, im stil in love wid my x afta 2mths spilt.2day i took d engagement ring bak dat i brought her a week b4 she finished me, was gna b a bday present (sept). oh wel, beta to of loved n losted than neva to of loved at all. she hurt me big time but i stil int givin up, i was happy wid her even tho she mde me unhappy. wierd i no. just keep sufferin until it stops, no cure.

    :eek: I can't read that at all. Well I can but I have to read slow. Hey could you do me an ickle favour and try to type in English, I know it's a habit to type in text talk and I do it to but there's no rush! You've got all the time in the world to type it. :)


    And jellygirl - i don't know what to tell you to do. You've just got to move on I guess, he's probably hurting so bad it's ripping him apart. Maybe he loves you so much he wants more than anything to be with you but also he's hurting so much he can't bear to be with you because every time he's with you the hurt comes back, and what's worse for him is what if you do it again (not saying you would of course) he doesn't want his heart shredded.

    These situations are utter and complete shite for both parties - there's no easy way out. I guess the most 'hopeful' thing would be to start a friendship and for him to try to get over the hurt and maybe in time see what happens... but often it's easier to cut all communication and just be left to yourself to grieve. I think he's taken it pretty badly as well.

    If I were you I'd be stuck deciding what to do. The sensible thing would be to move on, because you will find someone you feel the same about; in time. But love aint always sensible and I might end up trying to see if I could make it work. Tried that before. Kinda ruined everything god that was nasty. But in retrospect I couldn't have just stood by and watched her go...

    In the end though the decision is up to you... good luck *hugs*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry about the typing, I forgot you guys on this forum like words spelt properly. I will remember in future. You tend to forgot when talking on messenger at the same time. I do apologise.
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