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Newbie after advice
Former Member
Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi,
I'm Philly, I'm new here and thought I'd give it a try as a good place to discuss some issues, hi everyone!
I'm struggling with depression at the moment but my main concern is the affect that's having on my boyfriend. He suffers from severe anxiety (I know, we're not the most mentally healthy couple...) and sometimes by more blue days can come across as me being grumpy towards him. Sure, sometimes some of the things he does can hurt my feelings, but 99% of the time when I'm quite quiet is because I'm just feeling sad. I have told him but I'm not sure it quite translates to him. He still thinks I'm attacking him with the silent treatment.
I don't want to have to put on a 'customer service smile' to keep us both happy, but I desperately want to find a way to behave that doesn't upset him as it is doing. It makes his anxiety worse and makes me feel even more self destructive and self deprecating.
Does any body else have any experience with relationship issues along these lines or any advice on how to balance keeping others happy and keeping yourself happy? I've gone through so many scenarios in my head, I felt like I should have an outsider's opinion.
Thanks x
I'm Philly, I'm new here and thought I'd give it a try as a good place to discuss some issues, hi everyone!
I'm struggling with depression at the moment but my main concern is the affect that's having on my boyfriend. He suffers from severe anxiety (I know, we're not the most mentally healthy couple...) and sometimes by more blue days can come across as me being grumpy towards him. Sure, sometimes some of the things he does can hurt my feelings, but 99% of the time when I'm quite quiet is because I'm just feeling sad. I have told him but I'm not sure it quite translates to him. He still thinks I'm attacking him with the silent treatment.
I don't want to have to put on a 'customer service smile' to keep us both happy, but I desperately want to find a way to behave that doesn't upset him as it is doing. It makes his anxiety worse and makes me feel even more self destructive and self deprecating.
Does any body else have any experience with relationship issues along these lines or any advice on how to balance keeping others happy and keeping yourself happy? I've gone through so many scenarios in my head, I felt like I should have an outsider's opinion.
Thanks x
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Comments
Welcome to The Mix boards, great to have you here :yes:
You're welcome to talk about anything you'd like to here, we can offer our support and try to help with anything you need.
Sounds like a really tough time you're going through at the moment. How long have you been struggling with depression for?
Seems really hard that it's also having an affect on your boyfriend, you've done a really positive thing by reaching out for some help for yourself and your boyfriend here.
I've moved your thread to the Health and Wellbeing section of the boards as you might get more responses from others in the community here that have been through a similar thing do yourself here too.
There's also a page on our website which might be useful to read which is an Q&A expert chat transcript all about Mental Health in Relationships. You can find that here - http://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/expert-chat-sane-mental-health-in-relationships-8276.html
Just wanted to also let you know that we have live group Support chat running this evening (Thursday) from 8pm to 9.30pm, you can talk about anything you'd like to and get support from other people in the room (peer to peer support). You can enter the chat by clicking the join button on this page from 8pm - http://www.themix.org.uk/get-support/group-chat
Feel free to keep posting here about what's going on for you