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How?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My boyfriend wants us to have sex tomorrow night. He hasnt asked me about it really, i think he is just automaticly assuming that i want to do it. :eek2:

This may sound silly but how do I say no? I know he really loves me but there is a part of me that is bothered incase he dumps me because I say no.

Any help will be greatly appreciated!

Take Care

*SaRaH* x x x


I'm Not Depressed Everyone Else Is Just Too Happy

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just say no
    You're not ready - tell him that. If he loves you, he'll support that and stick with you regardless.
    If he dumps you as a result of you saying no, he's an asshole and deserves everything he gets in life.

    Very simple really
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what skateside said,

    its easyer said then done sometimes, but just said your not ready, if thats not what he wants, and he leave you- his loss, and he's shallow!

    good luck hun xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just say no, and make sure that you keep a good control of where hes putting his hands. It would be unfair to get naked and have him fingering you, then say no, so dont let things get too far if you dont want to do the dirty deed.

    But if he takes no badly, chuck the bastard.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Unless you're an expert in human psychology and body language, then you're unlikely to be able to hve any idea if he really loves you or not. As long as you think he does, and it feels right, and you want to have sex (I assume from what you've said you're a virgin), then that makes it right. If you want sex too, and your only reason for not having sex is doubting whether he really loves you, then you could remain a virgin and miss out on the fun and enjoyment of sex for a long long time. I can understand your reluctance, but if you don't feel the time is right, then don't, tell him no.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just explain to him that you arent ready. If he isnt alright with this then he isnt alright for you tbh.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with the above opinions. Tell him you just aren't ready. He MAY get upset, but he is a guy and not perfect! Just tell him to have patience.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just tell him you don't really feel ready to take your relationship to that stage yet.

    He might be disappointed if he's been expecting sex, which is understandable, but if he's worth sticking with then he'll be patient with you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by perfect***day

    He might be disappointed if he's been expecting sex, which is understandable, but if he's worth sticking with then he'll be patient with you.

    :yes:

    it'd be understandable for him to be put out a bit. but if he's worth it, he WILL wait.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Be brave and say no. Talk about this stuff with him, if your he is as lovely as you claim there should be no problem discussing your fears and concerns with him.... and, from your threads in health, I don't think now is the right time to start having sex with him, get your head sorted on everything else first

    *hugs*

    Susie
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You say he truly loves you? Well then there should be no fear of him dumping you for saying no. If he does? Then he doesnt love you like he says he does and you're better off without. He should support you, know you're not ready and be willing to wait for the right time.
    Just tell him no, that you're not ready yet, but it doesnt mean you dont want to once you are ready.
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