Female Dating BiCurious Man - advice?

Former Member

I'm a straight female who just entered a relationship with a fabulous, very open communicative, historically straight man who was upfront before we started dating about some of his "fetishes" which includes bicuriosity. The prerequisite before we started being sexually active and entered the monogamous relationship was that he shared this and I was "understanding." Up to this point I've tried to keep an open mind, meanwhile try to learn as much as I can.

So far he's only had two mild experiences with a male, but claims he has a "fascination" with the male body (we are both body builders so love the human physique). He also has a deep desire to eventually watch me with another man, but not doing anything himself. I'm less concerned about this fetish as the bi curiousness.

I feel torn between should I feel worried, threatened or should I be as open as possible in the belief that when we keep these topics open and discussable, that the tabooness of them will dissipate and therefore make him desire them less? His primary goal is to be monogamous while being able to share his desires with me, all to avoid any infidelity. He's also wildly attracted to me and my female body so sex and intimacy isn't an issue so far. I'm just worried that these could get worse one day or I fall in love with someone who could eventually end up gay?

I'm still getting to know him but wanted to ask advice and any experiences in this... Thanks.

Former Member

What's the difference to a straight man who has a "fascination" with the female body? He could cheat just as much and the point, "but I am female, so he already has one of those" does not count, because you know the grass is always greener and a different person can be very exciting, regardless of equipment.

He chose monogamy and fidelity with you, it is irrelevant what else he is attracted to.

Former Member

He won't miraculously turn gay one day, unless he's already there and is masking it as bi-curiousity - which doesn't seem likely with him being open and discussing his fantasy with you - you have to trust him. If you can't trust him now with what he's told you, it won't get easier to trust him. If his desire is as strong as you've said, it might be likely he's expecting this to come true one day. Do you think you could actually take part in that?

Former Member

Hi there @jk25,

It sounds like your bf being bi-curious is a little worrying for you because as you say this is something new to you and you are still getting to know him, which is natural. Like any new relationship, we learn about our partners at the start and sometimes it may take time to understand certain things about them.
It does seems as though you're listening to him and being understanding and open about it all - and hes also being open and honest with you which is a great start.

@JavaKrypt has a good point - perhaps this may be about trust? Do you feel as though trust may be a factor in this, whether he's bi-curious or not?

As @StrubbleS said, bi-curious or not, he seems to have chosen monogamy with you knowing his curiosity. As you say "His primary goal is to be monogamous while being able to share his desires with me, all to avoid any infidelity" which sounds very healthy. Have you been able to talk to him about some of your worries?

Have a look at article on bi-curiosty and do keep us updated *hug*