If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Need advice, best friend/fiancé problems
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I would greatly appreciate opinions on my my situation.
My best friend was supportive when my boyfriend and I got together. We all lived together for a months and things went sour. After they she repeatedly told me she does not like my boyfriend.
A few weeks ago we had a nice conversation on the phone. I had asked if she wouldn't mind being a reference for me, which she had done in the past. I got engaged a two weeks ago to the boyfriend she doesn't like. I called her to follow up about being a reference for me. She was upset that she heard about my engagement through a friend and Facebook, she was upset I didn't call to tell her. I didn't call because she does not like my fiancé and I felt she wouldn't approve.
Was it wrong not to call her about my engagement?
My best friend was supportive when my boyfriend and I got together. We all lived together for a months and things went sour. After they she repeatedly told me she does not like my boyfriend.
A few weeks ago we had a nice conversation on the phone. I had asked if she wouldn't mind being a reference for me, which she had done in the past. I got engaged a two weeks ago to the boyfriend she doesn't like. I called her to follow up about being a reference for me. She was upset that she heard about my engagement through a friend and Facebook, she was upset I didn't call to tell her. I didn't call because she does not like my fiancé and I felt she wouldn't approve.
Was it wrong not to call her about my engagement?
0
Comments
Welcome to the boards :wave:
It's always hard when a friend doesn't approve of your partner - especially now that you are engaged. Congratulations by the way! :d
It's tricky to know what was the right thing to do in this situation, but you did what felt was right at the time. Even though she may dislike him, her reaction does seem to show as though she still wants to know important news that occur in your life.
Do you know what actually happened for her to suddenly dislike him? Does your fiancee like her?
It could be worth thinking about how much she means to you and whether you want her as part of your life. If you care for her and want to resolve this, do you think it could be worth meeting up just you two in order to have an open honest chat about everything that's happened? This could help you figure out how to move forward together in a positive way.
Have a look at our article on Arguments with friends which could help.
Good luck and do let us know how things go *hug*
Tell her exactly that. Tell her you know she does not like him and felt she would not be happy and there is no need to call and let her in on news that she won't be happy for you.
Congratulations on your engagement!
It’s hard when a friend doesn’t like you boyfriend/ fiancé especially as it can cause an override of emotions. However it’s important to note that your engagement is something personal and should be based on who you decide to tell, therefore it is clear that you did what you thought was best, with the override of emotions that you were probably feeling.
As for the argument/ friendship break down have you asked her why she feels that she doesn’t like him? Or have you asked your partner why he might think she doesn’t? Perhaps she is feeling a little bit left out and although she does want to support you, she may feel that she is a bit disconnected. However of course, everybody’s different with their own unique ideas and perspectives. I think it’s important to think about how much she meant or still means to you and if she’s still important to you, it may be worthwhile clearing the air. An idea would be to perhaps grab a coffee and talk through your problems in an open and relaxed way.
Hope that helped and good luck