how do you know when your "fuck buddy" wants more

Former Member

Ok soooooo im married but have been seeing someone else.... obviously things in my home life havent been very good or else i wouldnt feel the need to see anyone else.... problem is he also has a girlfriend whom he is very unhappy with.... but she lives with him.... i hear stories about things his girlfriend does not only from him but also his son.... well recently left my husband... so now i am single.... but im trying to figure out if hes interested in more than just "fuck buddies" first of all every single morning he texts me... "Good morning Hun or Babe or Sexy" and he literally texts me all day long also he makes it a point everyday to tell me how much he misses me and even if i see him when i leave he texts me that he enjoyed himself but he already misses me..... he tells me that the little bit of happy time he gets is the lite bit of time he gets with me.... i said u mean to tell me i make u happy he said absolutely i enjoy spendig time with u ...... and one day when i was with him he was hugging me telling me how much he missed me and i asked him did u miss me or my booty his response no i missed u.... all of u. then when i am with him he holds my hand kisss it etc and its not ALL about the sex although that is amazing and we have a really difficult time keeping our hands to ourselves even when our significant others r around.... also when he sees me he literally begs me not to leave!!!!! And i am always hearing how awful his relationship is!!! What do yall think from these little things he does?? Fact of it is i really like him and am not Sure if Im reading to far into it.... friends tell me im not but they r biased so what do yall think???

Former Member

Idk, if he wanted to be with you and he is so unhappy, he would have made it happen by now. I'd say you bring it up in conversation in no uncertain terms that when he's so unhappy in his current relationship and always so happy to see you, then he should go and be with you. I expect stuff like "when the time is right." or other equal bullshit, but at least then you know.

Former Member

Welcome to TheSite.Org, amandalynn. I hope you will stay to enjoy the community and become part of us.

I hate to say this, but he comes across as using you for his "bit on the side", so is unlikely to keep you. I believe if a man truly wants you because his interest goes further than the bedroom, then he would have wanted to take you places and form a decent friendship in which the two of you would enjoy; even meaning travelling places. But all it presents itself to me is him having you solely in the bedroom, and nowhere else. A relationship no matter how good he may have been on the mattress, must go further and also, the bloke should not be harking on about his previous love. That signals a bad sign he's not over it. You want a man free from the shackles of his past, not bringing what was, into the present.

Guys can do all the sweet talking, literally charm us into believing their eloquent prose to be true, thir warm hugs lulling us women into a sense of unreality. They also can manupulate us just as he seemed to have done, tugged your heart in begging you not to leave. Only where is the action? I would proceed with the utmost caution.

Former Member

Hi Amandalynn152002,

Welcome and thank you for sharing :wave:

It sounds like a tough situation - you obviously really like him. The question doesn't seem to be whether he likes you or not because he probably does (and likes seeing you, texting you, spending time with you, etc - whether it be in the bedroom or elsewhere) but whether or not he would leave his partner to be with you.

In your situation, you left your husband, and well done for leaving an unhappy marriage - you thought about your happiness and continuing to do that is very important! But it may not be the same in his situation. Yes he says he's unhappy, like you were, but for some reason he chooses to stay (having a son may be a factor here). As sad as it sounds, you made the strong choice in your life, yet he seems to want his cake and eat it too.

Asking him face to face is probably your best bet. Do you think you could do that? Either he will be honest with you or not - and he might even mean everything he says at that moment - but listening to your gut feeling following his reaction and explanations could be a good indicator.

Scotv said it well when he said; you're single now! Clearly he makes you happy, however is that enough for you? Would you be happy to continue being the other woman and not more? Perhaps stepping away for a bit could help you reassess your situation. It's not clear when you left your husband, but it could be worth exploring what you really want, now that that chapter is over, and a new positive chapter can start. Another point that could be worth considering is whether you are letting yourself meet other men too? If he's holding you back because you feel like you're with him, it could mean missing out on other potential partners (if that's what you want).

Have a look when you can at these articles;
Fuck buddies
Single and happy

Good luck and do let us know how you get on *hug*