Twitter Addiction- I now have a problem!

Former Member

Hi, I'm not really sure where this belongs.......

Firstly, a bit about me..... I'm currently getting CBT for anxiety and have been struggling a lot with different things. So this is the last thing I need at the moment

When I was about 14 I started to get an obsession with Twitter. I became part of a group of other tweeters where we would give shoutouts to each other, and occasionally chat. They would call me a "friend" but I don't know them. I think it was because I was feeling lonely at the time and it gave me the sense that I mattered as part of a group.

I've always been quite shy and struggled with confidence. I have a few close friends now, but at different points in my life I had no-friends and felt lonely. I'm now part of a bigger group of people (as different groups joined together in my last year of school) but I tend to feel alone and struggle in the bigger group (don't really feel a part of it, even if I am).

But I got obsessed with giving shoutouts and gaining followers. It gave me happiness at the time. It got so bad, I would spend every second of the day I could on Twitter, following people and giving shoutouts. This went on for about a year, then I had 4th year exams when I was 15 and it concerned me that I would spend more time online than studying. So I gradually used Twitter less and less, but I worried that my "online friends" would be annoyed that I wasn't giving them shoutouts so it was very hard. I was still doing this until I was about 16, although I went through phases of using and not using Twitter.

I stopped using Twitter completely for about 2 years.

I'm now 18 and I was thinking about various things the other day. I decided I would delete my account (which I never deleted, despite stopped using). As I felt I'm making a new start with CBT so it's time to move on in life.

But.... I read messages from my "online friends" and I felt bad so started talking to them again the other day (which mostly consists of "hi, how are you", "good morning" and shoutouts). Then my old habit started again, and I've started obsessively following people, giving shoutouts. And now I've got involved with another few Twitter follow trains who give me lots of shoutouts.

It's only day 3 and I'm hooked. I think it gives me a false sense of happiness at the time, and I like it when people call me their friend. But I've realised they aren't my friends, I've never met these people. I'm starting university in September and I don't want think bad habit to take over again. I can already feel it starting to taking over my life.

That's not my only issue. So in my bigger group of friends, this guy (I know from school) I had on Twitter, just unfollowed me. He's a friend but not one of my close friends. Thing is he tends to bitch about people a lot, including his friends (with his closer group of friends about the bigger group of friends). And I'm worried that he will talk about me and tell everyone else in the group (as I already think they think I'm a bit weird, as I don't talk much). Then everyone will think I'm really strange.

I'm hoping he doesn't know it's me. As I only use my first name on Twitter and just recently I've decided to remove my profile picture (real photo of me) and replace it with an avatar type picture.

I've just got myself into a big mess and I don't know what to do I've already got issues and am getting CBT for anxiety. I've been struggling a lot with feeling down too and I don't know if I'm doing it as it gives me a false sense of happiness. Also I feel I worked hard for all those followers and that's another reason why I can't shut down my account.

Just wanted to say I'm not trying to be big headed by saying I've got quite a lot of followers. I'm just telling the truth and emphasising how much it's taken over my life/ is taking over my life

Former Member

Addiction is not just a term reserved for alcohol, drugs and gambling and misappropriated for things like Internet, sugar, etc. The mechanism in your brain is the very same for Twitter as it is for substance abuse and you need to treat it accordingly. Cold turkey. Uninstall twitter. Like you said, those people are not your friends, they are probably feeling very similar to you. That they want to escape and belong somewhere.

Breaking any habit is really tough in the beginning, but you did it once before so you know you can do it once again. It seems impossible at first, like you are trying to hold back an urge. Try to find time consuming hobbies (maybe some handcraft project) and whenever the urge to twitter arises do something else. Go for a walk, leave your phone at home. Does not sound very helpful, because there is only so long you can hold back a pee, but unlike peeing the urges lessen and lessen and what seems almost pointless to begin with (holding something back that will reoccur just stronger later), becomes childs play after a week or two.

All you need is willpower. The next time you want to fire up twitter, think of the BAD things, not the GOOD things. Not your "friends", but the waste of time, the anxiety it gives you, the way it keeps you from doing rewarding real life stuff. Whatever status you think your number of follower gives you, just forget it. I don't use twitter, I don't give a poo about all those people that could follow me and watch the cat videos I post. This is all part of the addiction. They follow so many people, as harsh as it sounds, it takes them probably quite a while to realize you dropped off the face of the earth.

The only way is just stop - full stop. You just have to really want it, that's all you need to be set.

Former Member

Thanks for your advice StrubbleS! Yeah, I think that's what I need to do. I only restarted using it a few days ago and I'm already hooked, so I should probably stop before it gets too far!

Former Member

Hi apandav, I just wanted to add to StrubbleS' advice. I agree that it's important to find a way of stopping the habit. I also think that an important part of dealing with an addiction is to look at where that habit came from - what need that you had that it fulfilled at the time. It sounds like you might have some ideas about that - you say you felt lonely, and felt shy talking to people offline. So, I wonder whether part of moving forward from this is finding other ways to fill that need?

I also wanted to say that while communicating through Twitter and face-to-face are obviously quite different, there are also similarities. If people enjoy what you say and the way you communicate with them through Twitter, the reason for that is that they're enjoying your personality. I know it can be easier to feel confident online, but it does tell me that you have those things in you that people really enjoy

Former Member

Hi,

Thanks for your reply Danny!

I've got to be honest I still haven't quit my account yet. I haven't used It as much in past few days but that's only cause I've been working.

I guess I have a lot of free time and I don't really have any hobbies or additional things that would help. So I don't know how I could meet it through this. I guess I'm quite a boring person

Thing is I don't really chat much on twitter. It's mostly just shout outs and only the odd hi how are you.

Yeah I find it much easier to chat online in general as I have time to think what to say and people can't see my body language.

Former Member

Hi apandav

It sounds like you've identified that there's a lack of balance in your life at the moment which is causing you to turn to Twitter for more support than you would otherwise. Using social media can give us instant gratification (likes, follows, retweets, favourites etc) which real-world interactions do not, so it's not surprising that you want to return to it again and again. Used wisely, it can be a really helpful tool which gives you the means to connect with likeminded people all over the world, so it might be that you don't have to discard it entirely - it's just about reframing it in more of a healthy way.

Finding a hobby which you enjoy might help in the first instance, particularly one which gets you into contact with other people such as a club or a class. It also sounds positive that you haven't used Twitter much in the last few days - this might be a good way to start cutting down your use so you can wean yourself off how often you use it. Any kind of addiction is hard to give up because it fulfills some kind of deep-seated need within us so don't beat yourself up too much if you find it difficult to resist. Feeling tired, stressed or run-down are also things to watch out for, because this means you'll be more likely to want to go back to social media rather than try something new, so take extra care of yourself in these times.

I hope this is helpful,

SarahR

Former Member

SarahR wrote: »

Hi apandav

It sounds like you've identified that there's a lack of balance in your life at the moment which is causing you to turn to Twitter for more support than you would otherwise. Using social media can give us instant gratification (likes, follows, retweets, favourites etc) which real-world interactions do not, so it's not surprising that you want to return to it again and again. Used wisely, it can be a really helpful tool which gives you the means to connect with likeminded people all over the world, so it might be that you don't have to discard it entirely - it's just about reframing it in more of a healthy way.

Finding a hobby which you enjoy might help in the first instance, particularly one which gets you into contact with other people such as a club or a class. It also sounds positive that you haven't used Twitter much in the last few days - this might be a good way to start cutting down your use so you can wean yourself off how often you use it. Any kind of addiction is hard to give up because it fulfills some kind of deep-seated need within us so don't beat yourself up too much if you find it difficult to resist. Feeling tired, stressed or run-down are also things to watch out for, because this means you'll be more likely to want to go back to social media rather than try something new, so take extra care of yourself in these times.

I hope this is helpful,

SarahR

Thanks for your reply Sarah! Don't really know if I'm confident enough to join a club, especially going on my own. People would already have their friends. Yes I guess your right. I probably use Twitter for the wrong reason, I don't talk to people on it properly. Not many people I know use Twitter unlike Facebook so sometimes it feels like freedom for me.

That's interesting cause I got caught back into using it again when I wasn't at my best.