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what do i do when i am alone at 17?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I hate making a sad face, but I am 17, single, and have been single since I can remember. I have never dated, I have never asked a girl out, I have been to school dances, ask girls, they agree. I am a lover, but I only seem to feel the need to ask someone when the time is necessary. I am a lover, once again, and I need to be loved back. I am looking for an attractive girl, and I have found many whereever i go, and I seem to get noticed (or is that what lonely guys feel?) and I hesitate. What should i do next? It seems awquard to just go up to someone that is attractive and start talking to them about who knows what. I don't like many girls at school, and the attractive ones... well, the attractive ones are good looking, of all ages, but the risk that is involved with asking someone you don't know in your school is very deep, or so it seems. I see them, they see me, there is a slight millisecond connection, but we walk past each other.

Ah! I am in love with love, but the love is not there from the other end. I don't believe I am hopeless, but I need your help! I need you ! My fellow lovers, please help out this brother in need. Give me some guidance. i am turning 18 soon, so i need to get a girlfriend or i will feel like a really big loser! Don't make this sad face last for long. For the love of love!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wow, you are in CA, thats amazin...

    I agree with previous...CHILL, you dont want to look desperate do you?

    just give it time and someone will come to you eventually...
    flirt like crazy, just have fun and dont ponderon it for too long...

    lotsaloveandluck

    <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just relax. "Love" isn't all it's cracked up to be, though I must say, maybe it would hurt less now at 20 than if I had had my heart broken on a regular basis since I was 14. I'm glad I waited to date, and in fact, I'm not quite sure yet if I regret dating right now. You have to wait until you're ready, and don't rush into just so you won't be seen as "a loser".

    You say you are "in love with love", but love has lows as well as highs. Are you ready to handle the valleys as well as the mountain peaks? I don't think I am, and I'm almost 21--just at a difficult time in my life when I need the stability of friendship, not the rocky ride that "being in love" sometimes gives you.

    When the time is right, it will happen. And it will happen much faster if you stop trying. Believe me, I tried hard for a long time, and when I stopped trying, was having a miserable day, had made no effort to look stunning or impress anyone, that was when I met my ex. When you relax, you will seem more confident and more comfortable in your skin, but if you're uptight and if you push, things tend to go awry...

    So, calm down Orsino!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the replies guys and girls, and I hope i didn't distort your vision towards me.

    When i said i am in love with love, i meant in love with the emotion and feeling i get when i am in love.

    I can't approach girls that easily. My parents don't really show any affection towards each other, and what i've seen from my friends has not been anything worth mentioning.

    I want to find a girl who i can love, and be loved back, but the major problem i have is finding that girl. I come across many girls daily, and these girls look wonderful, and seem as though they are wonderful on the inside, but i have no idea why i can't just go up to a girl as i would do with a boy, except do it in a flirt-like manner.

    I can flirt, once i've had a girl talk to me first. Although there are times when i would start talking, it is a rare circumstance, and i am usually stuck waiting for a girl to come up to me. It doesn't happen much, and when it does, it's not a girl i really like.

    The girls i really like are like like-magnets. I am repelled, although I truly want to be like opposite-polarity magnets, where i am stuck to her, loving her, kissing her... just thinking about it makes me want to find a girl.

    When i find the girl, i can't ask her! I don't know what to do ! I feel like a fool. I hear people say, don't worry about it, just go up to her. but things like, "what the hell do i talk about" and "will i come off too [insert here]" will come through my mind and act like a strong blockade.

    Girls are the most beautiful creatures on the planet, but until i get over that fact, i don't see myself getting anywhere.

    I don't know if any of that made sense, but i enjoy your replies, and i hope i hear some suggestions. Stories would be best. I am one who is greatly influenced by stories, if you know what i mean.

    Thanks, Love to you all.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey no sad face...!! Does that mean you are cheering up?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    when the time comes believe me it will feel right!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya Bboy.Well like you i cant approach girls either.I have just turned 18 and i have never had a date either but the thing is i do go looking and i try to get a girl but it always goes wrong.I once said to myself"I have got a girlfreind but...i just havent met her yet"Like you i want to go out with someone who i can love back and who loves me.I was in the park once and this really nice girl was walking in my direction.As she got closer i felt my body start going all funny and as she walked past me i nearlt fainted.lol.So i went over to her and asked her for the time so she told me and then she was looking at me expecting me to say something else but i didn't know what to say and as i tried to talk to her i just didnt know what to say so se got up and said bye and just went.I do get depressed a lot of the time but i cant share it with my mum because 1 its embaressing and 2 she is not really bothered about me.Well i enjoyed sharing my story with you and will look forward to you reply.Take care .Bye <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey- you don't need to flirt, I know lots of girls including myself that would prefer just to be talked to normally, chatted to and have a laugh...Just try to relax a bit because you might seem a bit desperate which is very off putting- (not meaning to be nasty).
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Bboy,

    You shouldn't feel like you're alone in the world with your problems, a lot of guys have the same problem. Case in point; I'm single (again) at 25 and now face the same "how do you approach ladies" conundrum.

    The truth is, only in films and TV does the guy walk up to the girl and instantly hit it off, everyone else goes through the feelings of being unsure to some extent. (Actually, there are some arrogant wankers who can pull this off, but who wants to be an arrogant wanker??)

    My advice is to chill, winding yourself up isn't going to help, especially in a closed environment like school. Most of my past g/f's I've met through friends, or by bizarre random meetings when I've been able to just be myself and not feel any need to put on any sort of show of how I think I ought to be. Guess that's my main advice, be yourself, because the ladies will be able to see through any sort of BS you build up.

    Keep ya chin up, somewhere there's the perfect lady for you, wondering if she'll ever meet the right guy.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks boys and girls for the support. Really, I think it was just a result of one of my mood swings ( i have that up and down depression syndrome or i think i do, sometimes)

    Well, all's well and really the funny thing is, all you need to do is think about things straight. And really, what i think cured it all for me was the song "The Whole World" by the pimpin trippin and flippin Outkast.

    I think all one needs to do in situations like this is try to get yourself away from the anxiety, be it through music or whatever.

    Now, here's the thing about the song that made me feel better.

    it's not really the stuff dre or whoever raps, but the chorus section:::

    "
    Cause the whole, world, loves it when you don't get down
    (Bah bah-da, bah bah bah-da da)
    And the whole, world, loves it when you make that sound
    (Bah bah-da, bah bah bah-da da)
    And the whole, world, loves it when you're in the news
    (Bah bah-da, bah bah bah-da da)
    And the whole, world, loves it when you sang the blues
    (Bah bah-da, bah bah bah-da da)"

    It's tight.

    It got me going and i'm feeling good. Although, I am not too sure about the girl-counterpart aspect of my life, yet, I am sure i will meet the right one sooner or later.

    je t'aime, moi non plus

    I hope to visit europe in a few years, if not earlier, i hope to get to know some of you a bit better. <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    Thanks, again
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BBoy...be yourself...then trust me...once you get one girl..you will all of a sudden have 3 or 4 chicks who want you....its wierd...when it rains in poors...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im jkn but u shudnt really date girls in ur skool belive me u'll regret it! if it dont las long or if they refuse u they will tell everyone and everyone will haunt and taunt u 4eva!!! cant wait till i go college... So many mistakes i have had to pay for... if u really say ur a lover... then u shud b a casanova and ask a pretty girl if she wud like a drink sometime if she says yes. then jus start talkin to her by askin Q's bout her name and stuff. If u dont risk then ur not a lover at all love is all bout faith and takin risks.. so take the bloddy risk damn u!

    loveless ~Dakrness~
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bboy:
    <STRONG>I can flirt, once i've had a girl talk to me first. Although there are times when i would start talking, it is a rare circumstance, and i am usually stuck waiting for a girl to come up to me. It doesn't happen much, and when it does, it's not a girl i really like.

    </STRONG>

    Its like you read my mind, i am like that, i got stop being such a pussy and learn to just talk to girls!!......I am out tomorrow night and i making a deal with myself i will pull!!......You do the same mate, think it will happen and it will!!(i hope)

    I do get a few girls come up to me and ask me to dance but i seem to draw the bad girl that have older bf and are willing to cheat on them(not something i want!!)

    Hope you get want you want mate, best of luck(i know i need all the luck i can get)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lads, it's good to be reassured that there are so many like us. I'm lucky in that my best mate is the same, but we don't let it get us down. I've stopped going to clubs thinking i'm gonna pull - i just can't go up to random girls, but I know that sometime a girl will come alonmg (single) that i'll really connect with and it'll be fine. I'm 18 and have had one girlfriend and I've pulled 2 other girls but that's cos they were being so obvious about it! I know I'm a cool guy and that's the most important thing i suppose.

    Bboy, cheer up a bit - you're a smart lad and you will be fine in the end <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think I sorts have the same problem. But i think youll find that as you get older women will stop looking for guys with big muscles and are 'cool' but will start looking for guys who are kind and caring. I have not been the guy with many girlfriends, none to be exact, but right now i have noticed that i lot more of the girls are more firendly and some of them i think wouldnt say know if i asked them out. Just make sure you respect them and are nice and they will soon relize this and see you as boyfriend material.
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