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63 Ways to piss off a cop!! LOL

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
These are HILARIOUS!! I suggest from experience, to never go any of these. :lol:


63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop

1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.

4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if you can see his gun.

6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him by his first name.

11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.

12. When he says no, cry.

13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.

14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.

15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.

16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.

17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first"

18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.

19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's the wrong name."

20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.

21. When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it.

22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"

23. Trip and fall into him.

24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.

25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.

26. Chew on the pen, nervously.

27. Clean your ear with the pen.

28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.

29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....

30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.

31. Act like you are retarded.

32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.

33. Mumble to yourself.

34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?

35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......

36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.

37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!

38. Ask if he watches Cops.

39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.

40. Giggle if he did.

41. Talk to your hand.

42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.

43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.

44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.

45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.

46. Try to sell him your car.

47. Ask if you can buy his car.

48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.

49. Play with the siren.

50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.

51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner

52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.

53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.

54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.

55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.

56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.

57. Turn your head and whistle.

58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.

59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.

60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.

61. Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"

62. Tell him you like men in uniform.

63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party

Comments

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol:

    We get pulled every friday night (had to pour an 8th down the drain last week!!!) the police were taking great enjoyment out of that--might have to do one of those things tonight to get back at them.. bloody rozzas!!!

    (im going to be in the met police when im clean&straight wah hey!)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Apparently, if you're pregnant you can pee in a policeman's hat because you aren't supposed to hold it in... hrmmm... *ponders*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ??? WTF?! :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by lil_minx
    We get pulled every friday night (had to pour an 8th down the drain last week!!!) the police were taking great enjoyment out of that--might have to do one of those things tonight to get back at them.. bloody rozzas!!!

    Why not just hide it? :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol: fun post!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by duffy
    Why not just hide it? :p

    so hard to resist this place i WILL make this my last post for now, anway, everyone hid it and put it down their boxers, but being cocky i tucked my 8th in my waistband hidden by my jacket, because there are never women police officers and blokes cant search me, obviously! but, there was a woman police person-and i did get searched and she smiled as i had to pour it away :(
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