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Going further

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi :blush:

This is kinda an embarrising question - I would have changed my username but couldn't really be bothered hehe. Anyway.

I'm in a relationship, and everythings going fine, but I don't know when or how things will go 'further' and I feel they won't unless I try to make them go further. I've spoken to my girlfriend very briefly about such things and she basically said she wasn't going to do anything sexual until she was at least 19. But I don't know - I was brought into a conversation with her and one of her friends ages ago - they were talking about whether they would lose their virginity before 16. And my girlfriend said she didn't know because she didn't know about me. Which... confused me. Sigh. The toher girl by the way said she wanted to :D (just to embaress her yay!)

Tralala. Anyway. I respect her totally but I don't know what to do and I know it's unfair to classify all girls under the same roof but many of the girls I know are flexible and they kinda have a 'lets see how it goes' attitude. Thank god my girlfriend isn't going to read this thread :)

Thanku for the replies xx

p.s me and her and like first serious gf/bf so we have never 'gone further' with anyone else so.... :/

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well she says she doesnt wanna go further until shes 19, u gotta respect that. But wen push comes to pull she wud probably go wiv the flow, if u get me !

    dont push her to do ne thing sexual, but u can always try, (no i dont mean force her) just go for it when ure alone.

    ne help to ya?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You gota respect what ever she wants to do...which im sure u do? and if she wants to do anything itl happen when the time is right! G'luck :) xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When you're at the point where you feel things could go a bit further - you'll have to try or you'll never find out.

    When I say try I don't mean to try and yank all her clothes off, but do it in a subtle way.
    When you've been kissing and stuff for a while and she's getting horny, go to undo her pants slowly and see if she lets you or not.
    If she does then hint at taking them off, or even just ask her.
    As long as she's horny and you're subtle about it, you'll be fine :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why has she put an age restriction on it? lol

    Like why will it be any different from the day before she's 19 and her birthday? god women are so confusing. :mad:

    How old is she? If she's serious I hope you don't have to wait a long time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well she's 15. I'm not saying all the way but as of yet as far as we've gone is kissing and she doesn't seem to be flexible to 'go with the flow' whenever. She seems to have put a brick wall up. I don't mind this it's just odd to me as... well she has done this before - with the brick wall - but then when the time was right things went on; even though she had previously said no. If oyu know what I mean?

    It's not like I'm going to yank her clothes off - unless in a jokey respect which I do very often hehe. But we can be playful about it you know but when we turn serious then she goes all 'no'. Hmmm ah well, I'll just see how things go :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well...here goes...this is what I would do......
    I would wait until you have chance when your alone, both relaxed and chilled, and gently bring the subject into it. Ask her how she feels, so your not just guessing and going on hear say. Talk about it and find out what she wants or when she wants, she may not even know for sure herself. Tell her about you too and what you want. Get to know her reason for wanting to wait til shes a certain age etc There is nothing else you can do here im afraid luvvy, once you get into the swing of the conversation it will come more natural, promise. Until you get to the stage where you can both talk about anything you want! Go on, the embarassment will be gone within 1 minute of talking, its just that first bit and she might suprise you with what she has to say. She may be willing to try stuff and you never know where it could lead to :naughty: Just dont make her think your pushing her, make her think you just want to get to know everyhitng about her etc :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How long have you been together????????? If you have been together longer than a couple of months then while you are kissing just subtely place your hand on her boobs while kissing, like sliding it down from her face. If she is ok with that move on to trying to get her boobs out - again try and be as gentle ans subtle as possible - but I doubt that if you are still together in 4 years that you will have to wait that long just for a fondle!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks V.V. that advice is just about perfect. I just hope she doesn't take it really badly and like, stop talking to me. She was on thesite a while back and she got grossed out when someone said something about me and tissues.... lol

    I mean I know she doesn't want to be easy - and she isn't. She's very sensible and I'm sure she would never regret anything she does (except going to the shop) just I hope she can be a bit more flexible when we talk about it, just so we can talk about it. It does seem weird in the middle of conversation and I have no idea how to start of the conversation...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by TheShyBoyInTheCorner
    Thanks V.V. that advice is just about perfect. I just hope she doesn't take it really badly and like, stop talking to me. She was on thesite a while back and she got grossed out when someone said something about me and tissues.... lol

    I mean I know she doesn't want to be easy - and she isn't. She's very sensible and I'm sure she would never regret anything she does (except going to the shop) just I hope she can be a bit more flexible when we talk about it, just so we can talk about it. It does seem weird in the middle of conversation and I have no idea how to start of the conversation...
    Um tricky, just bring up the conversation before and go on form there, or just be dead truthful and explain your a bit confused, tell her thr truth, she cant be mad at you for that sweety :D truth is always best :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you're still together by the time she is 19 and you haven't done anything sexual then she is likely to be the most un-horny woman in Britain. :eek2:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BumbleBee
    If you're still together by the time she is 19 and you haven't done anything sexual then she is likely to be the most un-horny woman in Britain. :eek2:

    aye I beleive she is

    after what she said yesterday I've been completely put off having this talk with her :eek2:

    We were joking about something or other then she said I was scitzophrenic. I asked her which of my personalities she liked and she went through them, but then she said she didn't like my bad side. I asked her what that was and she said "we'll save that for a later date"

    ho-hum - I still have masterbation though :p

    I'm just about giving up now because chances are she'll have dumped me by the time we're both 19....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by TheShyBoyInTheCorner


    We were joking about something or other then she said I was scitzophrenic. I asked her which of my personalities she liked and she went through them, but then she said she didn't like my bad side. I asked her what that was and she said "we'll save that for a later date"





    Schizoprehia?? Thats hallcinations or delusions

    Do you mean "Multiple Personality Disorder?"

    sorry that was off the topic. . . my perfectionism is kickin in at a bad time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Blnde_BombShell
    Schizoprehia?? Thats hallcinations or delusions

    Do you mean "Multiple Personality Disorder?"

    sorry that was off the topic. . . my perfectionism is kickin in at a bad time.

    hey shush. comment about the girl + the issue not tjhe perfectionism :p

    I am wondering. Either she is naive and really doesn't want anything to do with this stuff, is playing very hard to get and is unnaive, or is mature and just isnt interested.... hmmmm

    the thing is there is evidence for + against all theories. And dont tell me not to analyse cos analsyings what i do :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well I guess if a girll cant play hard to get when shes under the legal age of consent, then when can she? Id lay off her tbh, she obviously doesnt want that sort of a relationship yet and thats her preogative. Theres nothing wrong with her wanting to wait a while, It just sounds like she really isnt ready.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rainbow brite
    well I guess if a girll cant play hard to get when shes under the legal age of consent, then when can she? Id lay off her tbh, she obviously doesnt want that sort of a relationship yet and thats her preogative. Theres nothing wrong with her wanting to wait a while, It just sounds like she really isnt ready.


    yea i guess its not like ive put any pressure on her its just how she gives me mixed signals. im not gonna lay her off cos tbh that doesnt really matter that much to me it just gets annoying sometimes when im mad about her but a little kiss is as far as it will ever go you know? but :)

    thanks for your replies
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    \do you think she will ever want to with you? Is it just a case of waiting till she feels ready, or do you think maybe she wants a different sort of relationship to you. Maybe shes the kind of girl who wants it to be with someone she loves, whereas you would happily do it with someone you liked a lot (both perfectly reasonable) If you dont feel the relationship is ever gonna give you what you want (and to be honest, theres no way id be prepared to wait 4 years) then maybe you need to look for someone whos a bit more up for it, theres no shame in that, especially at your age, and from what i can gather you seem to have your pick of the girls atm, so why not make the most of it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rainbow brite
    \do you think she will ever want to with you? Is it just a case of waiting till she feels ready, or do you think maybe she wants a different sort of relationship to you. Maybe shes the kind of girl who wants it to be with someone she loves, whereas you would happily do it with someone you liked a lot (both perfectly reasonable) If you dont feel the relationship is ever gonna give you what you want (and to be honest, theres no way id be prepared to wait 4 years) then maybe you need to look for someone whos a bit more up for it, theres no shame in that, especially at your age, and from what i can gather you seem to have your pick of the girls atm, so why not make the most of it.

    because im mad about her :/

    i think she doesnt want to lead me on or anything so thats why she says 4 years cos its so long away lol. i bet if we were together till we were 19 she would use being 19 as a basis to go further with me. the only real hope i have hehe is to see if she changes her mind...

    and im not the type of guy who will just sleep with anyone either :p lol
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    harhar yay.

    4 years was bullshit :D :hyper:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LOL congratulations sweetie
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Shes 15 which is quite young. She may be saying 19 as just a random way of saying that she really isn't ready. I said I'd be a virgin til I was married, and I won't be. Then I said I wouldn't go out with someone for six months, and I did. I thought I'd never wanna have sex again after a disastrous first time with a bloke who clearly had never heard of foreplay. Yet lo and behold I'm off underwear shopping next week in preparation for sleeping with new blokey. Women are complicated. They change their mind a lot. Give her time, and care and you never know what might happen. And as you've said, you've still got masturbation!:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by TheShyBoyInTheCorner
    harhar yay.

    4 years was bullshit :D :hyper:
    Told you so :)

    Or maybe I forgot to post in this one but I've been reading through it and I definitely thought she wouldn't last. Now something's happened though, don't put any pressure on her to keep going further - don't take things too fast!

    But yay for you ;)
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