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Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi all, this is my first post on the forums - I've read them with interest for a long time but never written.

I came out of a long-term relationship in a bad way in February - I won't go into it now, but in short she cheated on me, messed with my head etc...just the usual thing. Sex with this girlfriend was great - she was on the pill and after tests agreed we wouldn't use condoms - everything generally was fine...

A few months after we split up, I met another girl...and slept with her shortly after (a very bizarre set of events - we are great friends still, and don't regret it). It was going great that night...turning each other on, feeling close and safe. But, as soon as the word "condom" comes up, my brain goes mad, and I feel completely unaroused. I find I lose my normally steady erection and, therefore, find it hard to continue until I'm once more excited.

This then happened several months later with another girl I had been dating for a while. I had no problems getting an erection when in bed with her...oral sex etc no problem whatsoever. Then, when the issue of having intercourse came up, and the condom topic arose...I found myself in the same problem.

Now, I have a proper girlfriend. She's a lot older than me, but that isn't a problem in our eyes. We've been seing each other about a month or so, and agreed that we wouldn't sleep together until we both believed the relationship would go deeper. It's got to that point, and expect we will start having sex in a week or so. I'm worried. She isn't on the pill, and obviously I want to use condoms (as does she of course). I'm worried about the topic coming up and becoming completely unaroused and embarrassed.

Does anyone have any tips? As I say, normally I'm fine - in all other acts and situations I'm fine in the area...just condoms...

Thank you guys!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Talk about away from the bedroom!! Get it out in the open now rather than leave it!

    Plus, get her to put it on you with her mouth!:eek: :p (Or her hands!)

    Don't worry about it. If you come clean about it now, away from the bedroom, it take a lot of pressure off you!

    I've had that problem once, but I "over came" it (and afew other things as well!):D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Worrying about it this much will make the problem worse. It's a bit of a spiral.

    Get her to put it on for you and make sure you're not feeling under pressure when she's doing it or it'll happen again.

    I wouldn't be surprised if this has happened to every guy at some point. Condoms are horrible things, but they've gotta be used :rolleyes:

    You could also try having a posh wank between now and then :eek: :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    First thoughts that come to my mind...
    Tell her about your worries.
    Practice with condoms beforehand.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the suggestion of her putting it on for you is the best I can offer. I love the sensation of a girl rolling one onto me!
    I dont use them with my gf anymore but I do miss that sensation as I find it very erotic.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ive recently had this experience. me and this lad were gettin it on n i said "have u got a condom?" n he said yes n ran off to get one. he puts it on n goes "i have a problem with these, i lose my hard on when i put them on" so im likee "why??" n he said "because of an exgirlfriend, she didnt like sex" well i was baffled..n quite drunk n said "what the hell im on the pill!"

    b4 u all shout at me, i know im bad.

    anyway, you definitly need to say somethin to her. you've both been quite honest and taken things slowly so far so i'm sure she'll understand. and it is all psychological, so you just need to try and change your attitude to it. it's like when you have a presentation to do and you get so worked up and nervous that you have to keep reminding yourself, you've done it b4 and done it well so you can do it again. positive thinking! dont let a bad experience make you think it will always turn out that way.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by EssEmm


    You could also try having a posh wank between now and then :eek: :rolleyes:
    :yes: Good idea.

    Also, relax - whoever said it was a spiral was right, if you worry too much then it'll get worse. Just try to enjoy being with her and not think too much about the condom - think about the reward you'll get once you've put it on ;)
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