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Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, i dont know if any of you are bothered but her is an update of my situtation

I was about to tell her HONESTLY, an i was chattin to a mate b4 hand, not talk about what i was about to do or nothing, an he started to tell me about this lad who likes the same girl as me, and he told her, now they dont talk to each other or anyfink, and she had been friends with him for about 6yrs, an it has made her feel ded bad, an he is like destroyed, so ive made a final decision IM NOT GOING TO TELL HER (this week anyway) im guessin if i told her then the same thing wud happen, wot do u all think with this new info?

PS, if u have no idea wot im talkin about read the "argh, why is this happening to me" post lower down the relationship board

if i shed a tear i wont cage it
i wont fear love
if i feel a rage i wont deny it
i wont fear love

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, i dont know if any of you are bothered but her is an update of my situtation

    You under-estimate us lot, we do care here, thats why we try to be so helpful and we like hearing how people have got on especially if they have taken advice as its feedback to us on whether it was any use or not for the future.. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    I was about to tell her HONESTLY, an i was chattin to a mate b4 hand, not talk about what i was about to do or nothing, an he started to tell me about this lad who likes the same girl as me and he told her, now they dont talk to each other or anyfink, and she had been friends with him for about 6yrs,

    hmmmmm, remember there are always 2 sides to a story, it doesn't figure that just because someone tells someone else about their feelings for them that that person would dis-own a friendship of such depth ?

    an it has made her feel ded bad, an he is like destroyed,

    I'm not suprised, but as I said before I'm sure it can't just be over that.. surely?

    so ive made a final decision IM NOT GOING TO TELL HER (this week anyway) im guessin if i told her then the same thing wud happen, wot do u all think with this new info?

    I wouldn't say the same thing would happen, she might actually feel the same way back, many relationships begin as friendships and progress to successful partnerships, I remember hearing on TV about how in order to have a close and long relationship with someone you need to be in love with them and also their best friend...

    Whatever you choose I wish you the very best.. good luck <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    [This message has been edited by Justin Credible (edited 18-06-2001).]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm with Justin on this one, I think it seems a bit odd that a friendship of 6 years would end because of that. Like I said before, as long as you don't make it a huge big issue, if she doesn't like you it should be 100% possible to be friends.

    good luck!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Justin Credible:
    we like hearing how people have got on especially if they have taken advice as its feedback to us on whether it was any use or not for the future

    Exactly.

    I can't remember whether I told you about my experience of asking someone out, probably, anyway we've become even better friends now even though he said no. But the key thing is to handle the situation right if there is a rejection which is luckily what happened for me.

    You'd need to give it a break to let her get over the surprise of finding that you want to add another dimension to the friendship, and then start talking to her, gradually at first as if you're starting from the beginning again, and then things should get back to normal.

    I think people may get problems because they try and get things back to normal too soon, or worse, think that because the other isn't talking to them they don't want to be friends any more; that's not the case, often the other person is too shy to say anything, and then the friendship would break down.

    But the most important thing for you to do niceguy is to think positively about the result of asking her. Plenty of time to think about the negative side if it becomes an issue. If it doesn't you'll have wasted a lot of time and energy worrying about it!

    Good luck <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yup, what they all said. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    and niceguy, you could choose to look at this as a positive thing as well. she might be holding out for you. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    but if she isn't, this also doesn't mean she's gonna treat you the same way she supposedly treated the other guy.

    i still think that if you talked to her straight away and in a mature fashion, you'll get better results and an answer immediately.

    besides, i think you underestimate her if you believe a second hand story about how she reacted to a similar situation. you know her as a friend and you have to ask yourself if you think she is really capable of being like that to anyone, let alone you.

    the longer you wait, the harder it gets.

    good luck dude.
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