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Cant she take a hint!!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

Hiya <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;
My boyf was in this girls class at school ages ago now! When me and ,my boyf broke up they became good text friends thats all, and they started writing to each other and stuff! She came to the bus-stop 2wks after we did brake up and shoved a letter from my ex(at the time) in my face! I wanted to hit her but he said if i did that he didnt want to know me! Then he told me they were meeting up, when he came back up at easter, BUT i sort of stoped that happnin as i got back with him, after he admitted he still loved me! Now, its just wierd and like hes got something to hide, she keeps texting him....all the damn time! I ask him who it is he just says his friend or his brother, but when i check his messages..they're all from her, i didnt say anything though! Then i heard going about skool that she had said i was the one that stopped them getting 2gether and it was happnin no more, i aksed him about it he swore down and told me it aint true, she denyed it, then he told her she was a slag, she hasnt textd him yet...that i know off! What do i do??
And also...when i was looking through his phone book i noticed that every guy i had in my phone book was in his! What does this mean? and ive been taking these tablets for weeks and hes just discoverd this, and when i went in his coat pocet there was a wee packet of them?? and when i asked him what they were he said its nothing!
Love Miss_Kxxxx

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds like you both have serious trust issues. You're taking pills and aren't telling him, he sneaks behind your back and finds out. He's talking to this girl and is denying it, you sneak behind his back and find out the truth.

    You both need to realize that trust is the only way a relationship will work! You both need to start telling eachother the truth or jealousy and lies will tear your relationship apart.

    If I were you, I'd sit him down and say that you haven't been honest with him but you know he hasn't been honest with you either. Say you really care about him and want to stay with him but in order for that to work you both have to start telling the truth.

    I think if you trusted your boyfriend you'd realize he wants to be with you and not the girl you were talking about... otherwise he'd be with her! you need to relax and trust him and try and forget about her. If you keep getting involved and believing rumors you'll just make it worse.

    An eye for an eye makes the world blind.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey miss_k.

    amadee is right. trust is a huge issue here and it looks like neither of you are being exactly honest with each other.

    i think what you need is a clean slate between yourselves. sit him down and express ur concerns with him and be honest. then expect him to do the same,and then be honest with him too.

    this will clear the decks. use this as a new starting point in your relationship, and try not to look back. cherish the time you have now and you guys will be okay.

    good luck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    What they said!

    Yes, trust is the issue. Have you always been open and honest with your boyfriend about anything remotely relevant to your relationship? Admittedly tact is often useful, but the truth is something that should always be told - "truth will out!" as they say!

    It doesn't sound as if he has been lying to you, but he has clearly kept some things from you. Talk to him about it. It's a terribly difficult subject to bring up but I think you can manage it <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;

    Another thing would be to text the girl yourself (assuming you have her number) and just ask her nicely what she thinks she's doing! However, if you do this and your bf doesn't know that could be kinda complicated.

    "Every guy in your phone book is in his" - what exactly do you mean? Does he know them too? Or did he just lift every number belonging to a guy from your phone? That may mean he has problems trusting you, so it now seems a two-way issue - should make it easier to talk about if it's on both your minds. I'm not sure how much I can remember from your previous posts (isn't he moving in with you soon?), so maybe I should go find 'em!

    What tablets are these?

    good luck <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    This is the first day of the rest of your life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    Hiya <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;
    I want to talk to him and tell him how i feel BUT he'll over react i know he will! Id text her or send her an email but she'd send it straight to him tell him about it! I know what she's like! I do trust him, but i get worried, today in his messages on from her said "hiya babes,how u?Fellin any betta? Did Helen call?Whats happened? Love Gxxx" WHAT THE HELL AM I MEANT TO THINK,WHEN I READ SOMETHING LIKE THAT??! The tablets i'm taking are Menicific(?) acid, for my period pains! And yeah he didnt know any of the guys in my phone book, i put a new number in 2day...guess what its they're already! Im scared if i talk to him hes gonna freak!HELP!
    Love Miss_Kxxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you're scared to talk to him in case he freaks maybe you should think about having a break from the relationship? Because as the others have said, trust is a big issue, and although you say you trust the guy you obviously don't from your reaction to that message. If you did trust him you'd be thinking more along the lines of "oh this is just a friend" rather than feeling threatened by her.

    You need to talk to the guy! If his reaction to simple questioning is liable to break up your relationship, it's probably too fragile to survive much longer anyway. And if you can't talk to him about anything that's on your mind, is the relationship worth much? I would say that by asking him you're proving that you care about the relationship rather than wanting potential problems to stay hidden.... good luck anyway <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah miss_k. i get the feeling he's not being honest with you and that he's playing both of you.

    he doesn't seem trustworthy at all. and if you can't trust him, no matter how much you love him.. you might want to think about walking away for a while, otherwise you're just gonna keep on living like this, frustrated all the them.

    it all just seems a little funny to me.

    be careful with him, ok?

    good luck.
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    ok. added to all the other advice alreayd been given that im not going to repeat...

    dont let him have access to your phone. then he wont be ABLE to find blokes numbers in there and add them to his phone (why would he even do this anyway? thats weird)

    similarly, stop messing with HIS phone. im sure he would like his texts to remain private unless he specifically says you can read them or shows you them. i know i wouldnt like the idea of someone going through my texts, even if i was going out with the person at the time.

    you say you trust him but you get worried. well if youre checking up on his text messages you cant trust him much can you?!

    what on earth is he doing with your mefenamic (either that or mefanemic? not entirely sure) acid tablets in his coat pocket then denying it? unless hes smuggling them out for his other woman? this is like some mad conspiracy theory. you gotta talk to him about it or youll just drive yourself mad.

    and definitely establish some boundaries with the mobile phones in both directions.

    "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
    ~ Nietzsche
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    him taking your period pain tablets is very strange <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/eek.gif"&gt;

    basically it's down to the one word we all love: talk!

    sounds as if she thinks she's got him. which, considering attached men almost never leave their gfs for another woman, is unusual. she may be asking him to break up with you, and he's resisting. which you can interpret in your own way!

    this is a tricky situation. as Calvin said, please be careful, but you really need to know what's going on and the only way is to ask him.

    and keep that mobile locked <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; !

    This is the first day of the rest of your life.
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