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internet relationships???!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey ppl!
just wondering what u all think about havin relationships with ppl on the net. like ppl whom u have never seen, except in a picture?

im askin this because my sister has been constantly on the net to this fella from england. and they r always txtin each othere and he rings about twice every day. i think this is totally wierd!!!

i was readin the msgs in her fone the other day, and theres all stuff like him sayin he was her boyfriend and how he loves her and all this shit.

hes comin over to see her in a few weeks, but i think the whole situation is fucked up! my sister has never had a fella b4 and i think she is just fallin for the first person who seems to be falling 4 her!

i know you all are probably gonna start sayin that they must love each other and all, but i really cant see how this can happen!

*sorry if i have offended anyone who is in a similar situation* <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya

    It can happen - it happened to me. I went out with a guy I met online and we were together for over a year, got to see each other fairly regularly but not as much as I would have liked. I don't see anything bad about it as long as the person is someone you can trust. When your sister actually meets the guy in person they may find they don't see eye to eye afterall, but then again they could get on really well. I'd say just wait and see <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah, it depends. i was in an IR and it turned out to be the worst relationship i've ever been in, he was abusive and awful in real life. but then i also know lots of very happy internet couples. it all depends.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey again. ive just been reading some of the posts in this forum and it seems like alot of u have been, or are in internet relationships! i really cant see how it can work!!really and truely goin u cant really say u are in a relationship, if uve never met the person b4. u really dont know what they r like!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree Asho to an extent.
    In some cases, if you use it to meet people who live close to you then personally it isnt so bad. But I always tend to start chatting to stalkers who threaten to kill my gf lol. Plus there's always the chance that the picture doesnt match the person......
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya Asho, my sister, Gina, was in an Internet relationship and she is with her guy, Scott, now for real, 2 years after meeting. She is 19 and her guy is 25, she worried and had doubts too but she had to meet the guy otherwise she wouldn't know if she had let a great guy go and she realises that Scott is the love of her life and they are now engaged. They do work, providing you talk long enough on-line before meeting, intersperced with plenty of phone calls and e-mails.

    If you are so worried about this guy, go with your sis to meet him?, trust me, they do work out if the 2 people want it too <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    as for that whole "not really person in photo thing" then that is a really sick and evil thing to do, it can fuck people up royally if they do that and it can also destroy any chance of trust in the future. If you can't except what you look like, its best to be honest with the person before they fall in love with this "fantasy" picture and the personality that goes with it.
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    ive been in two. one worked, one didnt. i think ive talked at length about this before though <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    basically, i talked to the first guy for about 3 months on the net, we were both just friends and hadnt been out with anyone before. there was always a hint of wanting something else though. anyway we met, we were just friends, we met again, and stuff happened and it developed like a normal relationship. the good thing about it was, we had alreayd got to know a lot of the things about each other, and realised that we got on and were compatible right there and then.

    the second one, i hadnt talked to him for half as long before we met. probably more like 3 weeks instead of 3 months! anyway it all went a bit fast, we werent right for each other really but convinced ourselves we were for a while. and we didnt know each other properly when we met. and we were in a relationship before we met really, and had said we loved each other and everything. i think that was a mistake, it was too rushed. but equally, i believe you can fall in love on the internet before meeting someone. i know ive done it. cant tell you what happened after that though, thats as far as its got so far :-\

    yeah, people CAN give out a picture thats not them. i can see how people could think this is wrong, and it is. i wouldnt call it "sick and evil" exactly, it isnt THAT bad. could just be them being insecure about their appearance and wanting to make a good impression. obviously, it makes things more diffiult further down the line, if you want it to progress past an internet relationship yore going to have to confess at some point. so i think that causes a lot more problems than it solves.

    and people might be economical about the truth. but then, so can people in real life situations, cant they?

    also its a way that eliminates distance, you talk to people and you dont realise theyre the other side of the world or something, it brings people closer together. however, if you meet someone who lives a long way off it can cause probs <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt; my first bf lived about 4 hrs away on a train and the second lived about 7-8 hrs, and jobs at weekends meant we didnt see each other hardly at all. so if its going to work you have to find some way of finding time to see each other, if its a long distance relationship. and talk regularly on the phone and make the effort to send text messages and/or emails or whatever. it really does make a difference.

    anyway thats about it from me <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
    ~ Nietzsche
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i met my boyfriend on the internet, but we see each other all the time because he lives quite close (but not as close as i want!) lol.

    So it's not really an "internet relationship" but it was brought us together. i think you can fall in love on the internet <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; but then im an old romantic <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    There's a girl in my mirror
    I wonder who she is
    Sometimes I think I know her
    Sometimes I really wish I did
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey asho.

    automatically discounting a possible relationship because it started online is a bit rough asho.

    love is a weird thing asho. people find their true love in the strangest places. you said that you can't see how this type of relationship could be because you've never met face to face. i think this allows you to get to know a person better without having to worry about appearance and other superficial things getting in the way.

    and give your sister and her internet b/f a chance. this may not work for you, but it could for her. don't judge this til you see how it works out.

    for the record, i met my current g/f online, and it's been the best (and hopefully the last) relationship i'll ever be in.

    so it can and does work if you believe in love. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    good luck
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey everyone. thanx for replyin! my sister said today that she might be goin over to england next week to see this "Boyfriend" of hers. she wants to go over on her own and stay in his house!! now cum on, does neone not find this wierd!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, there are a lot of freaks in the world, so maybe she shouldn't go by herself. Also, doing things over the internet is superficial, in my opinion, and you can change anything about you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    asho.

    i do believe that going to his house by herself as the first time they've ever met is a bit odd. (then again, i DID that, and it worked out fine <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt; ) but she's going to do this whether you like it or not because she thinks she's in love.

    the best thing you can do for her if you're worried about her is to do what crimson said and offer to go with her. stay calm and say, you just want to make sure this guy is everything she thinks he is. this is a reasonable request that she should agree to. if he is a nice guy though, then you got to let her carry on asho.

    good luck.

    good l
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    Originally posted by asho:
    hey everyone. thanx for replyin! my sister said today that she might be goin over to england next week to see this "Boyfriend" of hers. she wants to go over on her own and stay in his house!! now cum on, does neone not find this wierd!!!

    thats what i did. travelled from cornwall to manchester one day and stayed in the guys house and id never met him before. my parents had their reservations, but figured that since i was 18 i could look after myself and i knew what i was doing and it was my choice. so they didnt kick up a big fuss and im grateful to them for that.

    the first time i met someone off the net it was a bit different. he came down with a friend and stayed in a b&b nearby. and then a few weeks later myself and another friend went up THERE and stayed in a b&b. even thenext time he came down he was staying at a campsite with his parents.

    i know you have all the recommendations not to meet someone off the net by yourself and make sure you meet htem in a public place and all coz yeah, they COULD be someone dodgy. but chances are if the know each other well enough to consider themselves bf and gf then its not likely.

    yeah you can offer to go with her, if she doesnt want to, then you have to accept that. try not to show the obvious contempt you feel for the way they met, and try and be supportive. as calvin said, it CAN work meeting this way even if you dont think it could work for you.

    "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
    ~ Nietzsche
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Guys I have a bit of a problem and would like some help with it. I have fallen for someone off the net I have never met him before but I love him so very much. He also lives pretty far away, and we won't be able to meet for a few more months am I being stupid by waiting for him? I really do love him, he is my best friend but I don't know what to do about my feelings for him.



  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you love him, stay with him! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i agree with amadee. love is worth waiting for. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I met someone in the net, lasted 9 months but went **** up, i won't bore everyone with the details again!!!! When we split i went on the net again but this time i was looking, whereas last time just happened.

    But i looked for local ish lads. I met one but we didn't see eachother again, shame coz he was nice. Then met another not long ago, he is totally wrapped in me, i'm not all that impressed myself, nice enough bloke, but it don't feel right. So i sort of implied i didn't wanna see him again.

    But the last two i now realise was coz i was on the rebound and felt lonley and was having no luck on the social front...maybe i was trying too hard!!

    I think if you've chatted on net and spoke to eachother long enough to get to know them, then there is no harm in meetin up. But i really wouldn't use the net if that one failed. Coz with me, i thought, i done it once i'll do it again and know what to expect, but i was a bit quick and got disappointed.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've reading with interest, cause I'm new 2 all this IR stuff, some good points made, I think its down 2 common sense (but its not common...pity). I think Girl-From-Mars talks a lot of sense, but thats just my opinion.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    urgh, IR...gets silly

    i did once, because one of her mates told me she was "unstable" and that it wouldnt do her good to be "rejected"

    but she kinda stalked me...like ringing all the time and stuff, got waaaaaay too much

    so i let her down gently...she seemed ok, i hope anyway.

    i just dont think you can judge a person properly, know them in their right mind, across the net

    Playing with fire will ultimately see you burnt <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/ukliam2.gif"&gt;
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    Originally posted by gsus_z:
    I've reading with interest, cause I'm new 2 all this IR stuff, some good points made, I think its down 2 common sense (but its not common...pity). I think Girl-From-Mars talks a lot of sense, but thats just my opinion.

    thank you <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
    ~ Nietzsche
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I was going out with my b/f I met on the net, people were really funny about it at first saying things like "oh it's not a proper relationship" and all that kinda stuff which really got to me. But then we surprised everyone lasting so long, we got to see each other quite regularly so it was a proper relationship and although we're not together at the moment, we're probably gonna get back 2getha in the future. I still love him with all my heart and he's closer to me that anyone else. So I guess what I'm trying to say is don't judge internet relatinships until you've actually witnessed one first hand, have your opinions hair enough but sometimes it isn't fair when people just sit back and laugh.

    One of Heaven's lil Angels <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/angel.gif"&gt;

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/elefant.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My friend is very happy with someone he met off the internet, and one small point, i believe that it is 30% of new relationships are started on the internet, a surprisingly high amount.
    Also, i must say, i dont think it is a good idea that sher goes alone, and if she does make sure u have his number and address and make sure she rings u at a couple of set times.
    Overcautious perhaps, but u know its a jungle out there.....Roarrrrrrrr!

    Hello, my name is John. I like to dress up as a kipper at weekends. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/guin.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yea I've met 2 people who I met online, and I went with some both times. My mum and dad actually came when I met me ex, it was really weird lol.

    One of Heaven's lil Angels <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/angel.gif"&gt;

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/elefant.gif"&gt;
  • the_Paranoid_bunnythe_Paranoid_bunny Posts: 487 Listening Ear
    Originally posted by gsus_z:
    I think Girl-From-Mars talks a lot of sense,

    believe it or not she does, but it's often drowned out by the crap she talks.

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/rolleyes.gif"&gt;

    TheSite.org unofficial chat room!
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    Originally posted by the_Paranoid_bunny:
    believe it or not she does, but it's often drowned out by the crap she talks.

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/rolleyes.gif"&gt;


    lol shuddup... its just coz i have a lot of experience in this area! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;

    "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
    ~ Nietzsche
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ello again, now now girls! calm down, calm down.

    Hey Snoop r u smoked??????


    Heaven Scent, I agree u must have some experience, 2 speak of such things.


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The first guy I ever went out with I met on the internet. The difference is my older bro had previously met him in Spain and got his email address for me. I have told my bro since that I never want him to set me up with anyone ever again!! I went out with the guy for about 4 weeks. He was extremely rude to my two best mates, split us up for a while. I dumped him and after he kept asking me to have three somes with him. I have agreed several times that I dont mind being mates with him, yet he gets stressed out that I wont let him kiss me.He is still obsessed with me and doesnt seem to be able to just be mates. He has claimed several times that he is in love with me and my older bro thinks that maybe this is true.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by the_Paranoid_bunny:
    believe it or not she does, but it's often drowned out by the crap she talks.

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/rolleyes.gif"&gt;


    i fink she's pretty cool :P :P :P
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    Originally posted by * Ireland *:
    i fink she's pretty cool :P :P :P

    awww thanks <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; the bunny loves me really, dont worry <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
    ~ Nietzsche
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Girl-From-Mars:
    awww thanks <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; the bunny loves me really, dont worry <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;


    hehe, i have to disagree with your sig tho <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt; cos i wouldnt be much stronger if i had my arms and legs cut off now would i ... well id rather keep one leg <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/eek.gif"&gt;

    ..okay for topic <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; internet releationships, yar im in one at the mo and i love her and she loves me its great, and she spent $40 on phone cards so we can talk so im happy!


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