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Comfort Zone?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Do you think that when two people start having regular sex there soon becomes a comfort zone around what you do and dont do?

Me and my boyfriend have been having sex for 18 months now, but we never seem to do anything different. We have talked about what we would like to try but never seem to get round to it. I'd love for us to just try something new but now the thought kind of scares me. I was just looking at a sex website where u can buy toys etc and I would like to experiment but just looking at the pages kind of scares me.

Do you think this is because we have kind of establised a comfort zone? Amd if you do, how the hell do we get out of it?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I think it's true about the comfort zone thing, I dare say lots of couple get stuck in a rug and need to spice things up

    But you know what they say, variety is the spice of life!

    Just take the bull by the horns (or whatever) and just do something new and spontaneous. If more people did that I think a lot of couples would last and people wouldn't cheat so much.

    You can break this routine your in by just TALKING. once you both know that you want to move on and try new things it should be simple to put it into action.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You try talking to him about what he wants - its like trying to get blood out of a stone.

    Sorry I know your helping but I'm just feeling so despondant at the moment. I can only get him to say what he really wants on MSN, and we rarely talk on that. When I say we should talk about it more he agrees but we never actually do.

    Ah well, I shall try again next time I see him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry I am trying to blame it on him when its just as much my fault. Next time we're alone together I'm just gonan go for it and see what reaction I get. I'm gonna buy some toys or whatever and try them out together.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Me and the gf talk about everything, we don't always do stuff straight away but can say that everything that can be done has been done in 5 months of been with her :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Sprouts
    Sorry I am trying to blame it on him when its just as much my fault. Next time we're alone together I'm just gonan go for it and see what reaction I get. I'm gonna buy some toys or whatever and try them out together.
    Not being funny, but some blokes can be put off by toys (Not me, perhaps not even your bf) But best to play it safe and buy a cheap small one that wont intimidate him or make him think he's being replaced!

    How old are you two? and why does he only open up on MSN? :confused:

    Maybe the guys stressed and got other things on his mind and sex doesn't seem that important to him right now. Talking is the key here!

    Good luck
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks Harmless, I really do appreicate it.

    We are both 18.

    Hes the shyest person I know, which is part of his appeal but sometimes, this being one of them, he just shys away. I want to know his wants and desires but he doesnt seem able to tell me.

    One thing I did get out of him tho (on MSN) was that he would like to try a toy so thats why I said that.

    I said that I would like kind of the 'pretend rape' scenario and said that I wanted to be 'forced' into sex but since I said it...nothing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Sprouts
    Thanks Harmless, I really do appreicate it.

    We are both 18.

    Hes the shyest person I know, which is part of his appeal but sometimes, this being one of them, he just shys away. I want to know his wants and desires but he doesnt seem able to tell me.

    One thing I did get out of him tho (on MSN) was that he would like to try a toy so thats why I said that.

    I said that I would like kind of the 'pretend rape' scenario and said that I wanted to be 'forced' into sex but since I said it...nothing.

    strange turnon:eek2:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol
    I dont think its that uncommon actually.
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