Should I stop seeing my mate for good?

Former Member

Hi to anyone who's reading this. Well as you guessed I do have a problem, so here it is:

I have a good friend who I've known for about 6 months, and I have fancied her for most of the time I've known her, but now after knowing her for this length of time, I think I love her too. I thought she fancied me, but I did nothing coz I was too shy to. A couple of weeks ago, she asked if I liked her and I thought for a few seconds, then said yes just to be honest with her. The next day, I found out she never liked me, and as you can guess, I was pretty gutted, but still am. This all happened about 3 weeks ago, and I still haven't got over. I'm askng everyone who replies this: Should I stop seeing her completely? Coz I don't reckon I will be able to get over the fact that I'll never be able to go out with her, and whenever I see her, its all I can ever think about. I don't want to stop seeing her, but do I have to so I can get over this?

[ 29-05-2002: Message edited by: LinkinPark_rock ]

Former Member

this is a bad situation to be in, im in a similar situation, i REALLY like my mate but hes not ready for a relationship yet. i HATE it when i see him with other girls, and i sometimes wonder if i should just stop being his mate completely incase i dont have any chance with him. i just hate to see him and really like him,knowing that all we are is just mates. i dont think that you should stop seeing her as a mate cos then you'll be letting love get in the way of your friendship. try not to let it. she migtht hink that you were only ever interested in going out with her if you stop seeing her now that youve found out that she doesnt like you in that way.

Former Member

Been in the same situation and my mate decided that we shouldn't see each other. I'm upset that I lost a really good mate but am sure we'll be friends in the future.

Former Member

"i dont think that you should stop seeing her as a mate cos then you'll be letting love get in the way of your friendship."

friendship is about love. but, people come and people go, they are all useful, but things change, and life goes on. tho everytime you see her, you are torturing yourself, so best to just let it go nicely.
Dont worry! you will get over it!

Former Member

i was in the same position; was like best friends with this girl for 5 months, and then fell in love with her, she used to fancy me, but by the time i started likin her she said she didnt anymore.. i felt exactly the same as you about a month or so ago; i couldnt face ever talkin to her cos i knew id wuldnt b with her.. but weve tried to make it through, she doesnt want to lose my friendship; and im sure ur friend doesnt want to lose urs.. it tooks me a while, but i went out, relaxed, spoke to mates about how i felt and got it all off my chest.. i still feel a little upset sometimes about it, but i jus think that i still have her in my life as a friend, and to me thats all that matters now... u'll make it through; just please please dont stop talking to her

Former Member

maybe cut your losses?

Former Member

forget about her and get on with your life-with or without her

Former Member

I think that if i was you i would rather her as just a mate than NEVER see or speak to her again. And i am sure if you ask Barbie if she would prefer to be mates than be in the situation she is in at the moment and not talk to the person she loves/likes then i am sure she would advise you to stay in contact. I know from my past experiences I would rather be friends. Hope we have all helped you to make up your mind and decide.

P.S. Maybe if you tried the good old way and talked to her about it, as you are really good mates anyway.

Former Member

Hi, this is linkin park rock, I have changed my name though. This thread is on the first page again because of this post, this is the first on it for about a month. Well I have a problem again, if you haven't already then please read the other posts or the following won't make sense, but I'd like anyone to reply to this:

Okay, its been over a month since that happened. My problem is: Its been a month, but it still seems like it only happened yesterday. I'm still not over it. Anyone know how I can get over it? By the way, I am gonna keep seeing her as a friend, (coz I don't wanna lose her completely, thanks to all who replied the other time) but I need help getting over it, and I'm still depressed and upset about it.

But if I could, then I would go out with her. I know she used to like me in "that way" but she doesn't anymore. So also, what could I do to improve the chances of her liking me again? This 2nd part is probably one for the girls but if a guy can help then plz reply still.

Thanks all, appreciate it.

Former Member

Just something I forgot to say on the last one:

About her, well I have liked a lot of people before in the past so I know what lust is, but I feel very different about her, I've never liked anyone as much as her before, and so I think I love her too.

Former Member

Hon, you WILL be able to get over it okay? But you have to LET yourself get over it. If you don't then you will be stuck in the whole 'in love' thing for a LONG time.
But don't cut her out of your life, not because you love her. I've loved many of my best male mates before. But I got over it, mainly because I let myself. I knew I wouldn't be able to get what I wanted, so I forgot about it.
It may take a while, but you have GOT to at least try.
It's best anyway, because if you did go out, then it might ruin the friendship you have.
She see's you as a friend, and a friend only. Forget the love thing, and concentrate on having her as your mate.
You'll understand it makes everything ALOT better.

Keep it real hon.

xx