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Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi
ive got a wonderful g/f, shes the first girl who ive really felt close and in love with. ive been with her about 3 and a half months and now know i can trust her, ive never trusted anyone like her before.

The thing is, is there is a bloke who she has just met through a friend who she is now seeing a couple of times a week, yet cant see me cos she is revising and her mum wont let me come round. But she meets this bloke say for an hour to revise. Thing is i know he is a bloke who would ask her out, i know i can trust her to say no, but i get worried really easily adn because i like her a lot and dont want to lose her i get worried even more. i know im being over protective but i dont want to drive her away, i was just wondering what can i do to feel comfortable with her being mates with this bloke, and being confidant that he wont try and steal her from me. i trust her but i know what blokes can be like.

Any help is welcome, thanxs

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dude, we all go through this. when you love someone, you don't even want anyone going near them.

    but you know what? in the course of your relationship, both you and her are going to met new people and inevitably, you're both gonna find other people who are intersted in you.

    but you've stated that your girl friend will say no, and that she loves you. i hope your relationship is open enough where she will tell you if he does. but until he does the crime, you have to let ur gf live her life. if she needs this guy to revise, it's not like she's cheating on you.

    and if he does ask her out, then you'll need to just tell her you don't like it and whatever else you feel. and if he continues his pursuit, then you have to right to ask her to stop seeing him.

    but always be calm. i've discovered the jealous bf only doing this in the name of love bit never ever works out. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt; be honest about ur feelings, but respect hers too. she needs to live her life, just you need to live yours.

    good luck dude.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah... you really have to sit back and trust her. my boyfriend is REALLY over protective and gets jealous easily, and it's almost caused us to break up before. I'm still good friends with my x and we hang out every once in a while, my bf gets jealous if i even talk to my x on the phone! i get really pissed at my bf for this, because he goes off to parties without me where there are lots of girls and people are drinking, and i don't get on his case about it. i know he's having fun and i trust him not to cheat on me. i still get jealous but that doesn't mean i have a reason to be... understand the difference?

    it sounds like you have a good, healthy relationship with your girlfriend. it's great that you love and trust her, and realize that jealousy is a problem. just voice your concerns, let her reassure you, and live your life while she's living hers. i'm sure it'll all be fine <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Calvin:
    dude, we all go through this. when you love someone, you don't even want anyone going near them.

    but you know what? in the course of your relationship, both you and her are going to met new people and inevitably, you're both gonna find other people who are intersted in you.

    but you've stated that your girl friend will say no, and that she loves you. i hope your relationship is open enough where she will tell you if he does. but until he does the crime, you have to let ur gf live her life. if she needs this guy to revise, it's not like she's cheating on you.

    and if he does ask her out, then you'll need to just tell her you don't like it and whatever else you feel. and if he continues his pursuit, then you have to right to ask her to stop seeing him.

    but always be calm. i've discovered the jealous bf only doing this in the name of love bit never ever works out. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt; be honest about ur feelings, but respect hers too. she needs to live her life, just you need to live yours.

    good luck dude.

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    he's right, as usual.


    Look into these tired eyes. See something you might recognise.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Calvin:
    dude, we all go through this. when you love someone, you don't even want anyone going near them.

    but you know what? in the course of your relationship, both you and her are going to met new people and inevitably, you're both gonna find other people who are intersted in you.

    but you've stated that your girl friend will say no, and that she loves you. i hope your relationship is open enough where she will tell you if he does. but until he does the crime, you have to let ur gf live her life. if she needs this guy to revise, it's not like she's cheating on you.

    and if he does ask her out, then you'll need to just tell her you don't like it and whatever else you feel. and if he continues his pursuit, then you have to right to ask her to stop seeing him.

    but always be calm. i've discovered the jealous bf only doing this in the name of love bit never ever works out. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt; be honest about ur feelings, but respect hers too. she needs to live her life, just you need to live yours.

    good luck dude.

    He's right 'dude', listen to him.

    P.S. Just how old are you Calvin? There aren't many teenagers who have your level of common sense - or are you just older than your years?



    "So raise your fists and march around
    Don't dare take what you need
    I'll jail and bury those committed
    And smother the rest in greed"
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Man Of Kent:
    He's right 'dude', listen to him.

    P.S. Just how old are you Calvin? There aren't many teenagers who have your level of common sense - or are you just older than your years?


    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'd like to think it's just god given wisdom m.o.k., but i do have a few years on most people here. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    but i have the mentality of a teenager sometimes, does that count? <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So what your saying is, is just to try and forget about the bloke, and things and if something does happen then think about it and get worried? i do feel a lot better about it now ive spoken to people about it, but still have a nagging feeling it gona go horribly wrong, and i dont wana lose her
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by NeoNero:
    So what your saying is, is just to try and forget about the bloke, and things and if something does happen then think about it and get worried? i do feel a lot better about it now ive spoken to people about it, but still have a nagging feeling it gona go horribly wrong, and i dont wana lose her

    no neo, what i'm saying is don't make something an issue til it is. you are worrying about things u think are going to happen. has he asked her out yet? u said he would, but until he does, if you make this an issue with your g/f i GUARANTEE you you'll increase your chances of losing her.

    the term to think about her dude is a "self-fulfilling prophecy" if you automatically think something is going to go wrong before it does, and act that way, then it eventually will go wrong.

    you don't want to forget about anything. but i'm saying don't make it an issue before it becomes one. if you want your relationship to work out and be good, you have to trust, you HAVE to. and nagging worries will do nothing except sit and fester until you explode at the wrong time. don't let unwarranted suspicions sit there and eat at you.

    and one more thing: i'm guessing this is one of the first relationships you've ever been in. you know what neo? there's always a chance you could lose her because that's part of life. but if you continue to constantly live in fear of that, you're never going to have a chance to enjoy what you have now. trust her, and go out and have fun. that's how you build a strong relationship, and that's how you will stay together.

    deal with the problems when they are problems, not before.

    sorry for being harsh, but i've been where u r, and if you don't let this go, it's only going to come in between ur g/f and u and i don't want to see that happen.

    good luck dude.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey thanxs mate, i see what ya mean and im not gona let it get to me <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; thanxs, it aint my first relastionship but its the first one where ive felt this close, u know like i feel real good around her. thanxs for all your help!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Calvin:
    i'd like to think it's just god given wisdom m.o.k., but i do have a few years on most people here. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    but i have the mentality of a teenager sometimes, does that count? <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;

    thinking of it in computer terms, i spose one could say u have a teenage attachment file <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; :P

    Look into these tired eyes. See something you might recognise.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Calvin:
    i'd like to think it's just god given wisdom m.o.k., but i do have a few years on most people here. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    but i have the mentality of a teenager sometimes, does that count? <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;

    Nice to know I'm not the only 'oldie' here <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    I'd like to think I have the kind of wisdom that only experience can bring. I know that we have to grow older but who said we had to grow up?


    "So raise your fists and march around
    Don't dare take what you need
    I'll jail and bury those committed
    And smother the rest in greed"
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my advice (and it maybe really crap advice) is be mature bout it and try to consider him as just a friend of hers, this way if she does anything then you have the moral high ground (i told you my advice was stupid) and you are very much in the right which sounds like nothing if youve just been cheated on but when it happens you really need to feel totally justified that you have been wronged.
    anyway putting pressure on her not to see him makes you seem like the bad guy in her mind
    good luck

    I need to wash myself again to hide all the dirt and pain, but I'd be scared that there's nothing underneath
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Turtle:
    thinking of it in computer terms, i spose one could say u have a teenage attachment file <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; :P


    interesting way of stating it shellhead, very interesting. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Calvin:
    interesting way of stating it shellhead, very interesting. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;

    *has images of calvin as a mr. burns-style semi-human*

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt; wow. scary.

    Look into these tired eyes. See something you might recognise.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Turtle:
    *has images of calvin as a mr. burns-style semi-human*

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt; wow. scary.


    no more than you my friend, no more than you. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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