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Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
OK I really need your help about something but its really personal and scary but I don't know where else to go.

This year I caught herpes. Its an STI and its incurable. Sex without a condom will always carry a risk of me infecting my partner.
I only told my two best friends about this. I go to the church of another friend, but she thinks I'm a virgin and so does everyone at her church. Lying about my life to them is eating away at me, and I was trying to leave the church but.....now this guy from the church has asked me out and I really like him, but I don't know what to do. He'll think I'm a committed Christian and a virgin when I'm neither. I'm crap with men and nervous as it is cos I'm shy and not very experienced, and having this as well is making me so nervous I'm shaking. I really don't know what to do at all. Please help

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The best piece of advice I can give to you is:

    Tell him about this.

    Pull him off to one side, and explain that you like him, but you're worried about him getting the wrong idea about you. Tell him about what you've done, and what you have, and you could find that it doesn't bother him that much.

    But you'll never know unless you tell him and find out.

    Good luck
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok well first off its nothing to be scared or ashamed about. Yes, some people will always think "oh my god... STI's!!!" but you havent caught anythign because you're dirty or a slut or anything like that, so just remember its not your fault.

    If this guy likes you he'll have to accept you for who you are. Right now you are not only lying to them, but you're lying to yourself - and thats the most important issue. You need to be honest and true to yourself in order to be happy. Are you happy in the church? you said you were not a committed christian so something tells me you are not contented with your position within a church? if this guy likes you he wont judge you. How old are you (sorry, should have checked)? Im sure when he asked you out its just for a drink to get to know each other before pushing things forard, if things get heavy and you really like each other and want to push things forward then its only fair to tell him, but Im sure your views on christianity and your position within the church will come up on your date? i need to go now, but i hope it sorts out. remember, there's nothing wrong with you, just keep your self-respect up and do things for you, not anyone else x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just be brave and tell the truth...you've done nothing wrong and it'snot your fault... these things happen to the best of us :) just tell him when you think it's right... xXx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know I am going to have to tell him at some point. This would usually have to be done when the topic of contraception comes up, which it won't in this case. And how I feel about the Church will be hard to hide anyway, and will probably come out pretty soon. Thanks for all your advice!:)
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