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How to shower...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
As I leave, after another "exciting" day at work, i hope this amuses you:


How to shower like a woman
===========================

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket
according to whites and coloured.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
do more sit-ups.

Get in shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah.
And pumice stone.

Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.

Wash hair again to make sure it is clean.

Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with
natural avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes.

Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for 10 minutes until
red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger-nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with
Tilex.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Check entire body for spots, tweeze hairs.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover any exposed areas.

How to Shower Like A Man
=========================

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed.

Leave in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake knob at her making woo-hoo
sound

Look at manly physique in the mirror.

Admire size of your knob and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they
sound in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your bum leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap.

Shampoo hair.

Make shampoo mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry-off.

Fail to notice water on floor.

Admire knob size in mirror again.

Leave shower door open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake knob at her and make
woo-hoo noise again.

Throw wet towel on bed

Comments

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol: :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol: Very good.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol:

    love your little posts...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by lil_minx
    :lol:

    love your little posts...

    *Takes a bow*

    Thank you, thank you ;)

    hehehe off home now, 3 mins to go :D THANK GOD FOR THAT! toodles everyone
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol: that was excellent
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hehe so true most of it!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Haha very funny!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    so cool. i think i'm a guy.......the girly one is so boring i hate having to shower like that takes to long and i'd run out of water and end up washing off my bubbles in ice cold water.....not good for a periced nipple.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol: very descriptive!:lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    fuckin spot on,:lol: roar:D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Tweety
    Hehe so true most of it!

    i have to agree :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tis sooo true!!!!
    heehee i can admit to showering like a proper woman! ;)
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