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Holiday Cheer For UBL
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
'Twas the night before Ramadan, and all through the cave
Not a creature was stirring; it felt like a grave.
The turbans were hung by the firepit with care,
In hopes that the Air Force would not soon be there.
The soldiers were restless without any beds,
While visions of air strikes flashed in their heads.
Osama in his burkha and I in my goatskin cap,
Had just settled down for a cold, barren winter's nap,
When out on the ledge there arose such a clatter,
I grabbed my Kalashnikov to see what was the matter.
Away from the racket I ran like a girl,
Tripped over a goat; into a ball I did curl.
The moon shone down on the new-fallen snow
And lit up the valley with an ominous glow,
When, what to my one good eye should appear,
But a dozen Apaches, and tanks in the rear,
And their leader, so fearless, his troops he did push,
I knew in an instant it must be George Bush.
More rapid than eagles his forces they came,
And they whistled, and shouted, and called out our names;
"Now Omar! Osama! Muhammad! Abdul!
We come for you now; we've taken Kabul!
To the top of the cliffs! To the back of their caves!
When you chose this war, you dug your own graves!"
As the dry leaves that before the assault choppers fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, light up the sky,
So up to the ledge his forces they flew
With full magazines, and flamethrowers too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard with a thud
The explosions of Tomahawks; not one was a dud.
As I chambered my rifle, and was turning around,
Osama was there, disguised in a gown.
He was dressed all in drag, from his head to his toes,
And he said he would flee while I held off his foes;
A bundle of money he had stuffed in his pack,
He said "I'm going to Baghdad and I'm not looking back!"
His eyes were all glassy; he trembled with fear;
The American bombs, they rang in his ears.
He saddled his goat, then turned tail and fled,
But a Marine Corps sniper got him in the head.
I watched with cold fear as his body did slump;
The goat threw him off; he fell with a thump.
And so, there I stood, my plans all destroyed,
About to suffer a fate I could not avoid;
I dropped to my knees; asked Allah for help,
His voice boomed in my ears, "You ignorant whelp!
I gave you the Bible, the Torah and Koran,
But you were too arrogant to understand,
I told you to honor your neighbors and wives;
Not to enslave them, or degrade their lives!
You invoke My name to sanction your deeds,
But you are the last thing that this world needs.
And so, I'll send you and bin Laden to Hell."
The last words I heard, as the bombs fell,
Were from George Bush himself as he mounted the wall,
"One nation, under God, with liberty and justice for all!"
Written by Jack Falbey.
Inspired by the spirit of freedom.
I just had to share this bit of poetry knowing that it will be appreciated...and probably piss a few off!
Diesel
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Not a creature was stirring; it felt like a grave.
The turbans were hung by the firepit with care,
In hopes that the Air Force would not soon be there.
The soldiers were restless without any beds,
While visions of air strikes flashed in their heads.
Osama in his burkha and I in my goatskin cap,
Had just settled down for a cold, barren winter's nap,
When out on the ledge there arose such a clatter,
I grabbed my Kalashnikov to see what was the matter.
Away from the racket I ran like a girl,
Tripped over a goat; into a ball I did curl.
The moon shone down on the new-fallen snow
And lit up the valley with an ominous glow,
When, what to my one good eye should appear,
But a dozen Apaches, and tanks in the rear,
And their leader, so fearless, his troops he did push,
I knew in an instant it must be George Bush.
More rapid than eagles his forces they came,
And they whistled, and shouted, and called out our names;
"Now Omar! Osama! Muhammad! Abdul!
We come for you now; we've taken Kabul!
To the top of the cliffs! To the back of their caves!
When you chose this war, you dug your own graves!"
As the dry leaves that before the assault choppers fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, light up the sky,
So up to the ledge his forces they flew
With full magazines, and flamethrowers too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard with a thud
The explosions of Tomahawks; not one was a dud.
As I chambered my rifle, and was turning around,
Osama was there, disguised in a gown.
He was dressed all in drag, from his head to his toes,
And he said he would flee while I held off his foes;
A bundle of money he had stuffed in his pack,
He said "I'm going to Baghdad and I'm not looking back!"
His eyes were all glassy; he trembled with fear;
The American bombs, they rang in his ears.
He saddled his goat, then turned tail and fled,
But a Marine Corps sniper got him in the head.
I watched with cold fear as his body did slump;
The goat threw him off; he fell with a thump.
And so, there I stood, my plans all destroyed,
About to suffer a fate I could not avoid;
I dropped to my knees; asked Allah for help,
His voice boomed in my ears, "You ignorant whelp!
I gave you the Bible, the Torah and Koran,
But you were too arrogant to understand,
I told you to honor your neighbors and wives;
Not to enslave them, or degrade their lives!
You invoke My name to sanction your deeds,
But you are the last thing that this world needs.
And so, I'll send you and bin Laden to Hell."
The last words I heard, as the bombs fell,
Were from George Bush himself as he mounted the wall,
"One nation, under God, with liberty and justice for all!"
Written by Jack Falbey.
Inspired by the spirit of freedom.
I just had to share this bit of poetry knowing that it will be appreciated...and probably piss a few off!
Diesel
88888888 <IMG alt="image" SRC="eek.gif" border="0">
0
Comments
Enjoy!
Diesel
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Monday
7:00 Wheel of Torture
7:30 Un-velied women in jeopardy
8:00 Allah McBeal
9:00 Monday Night Stoning
11:00 Eye-for-an-Eye Witness News
Tuesday
7:30 Tent Improvement
8:00 Who Want's to be a Terrorist
9:00 Dharma & Mohammed
9:30 That Taliban Show
10:00 Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer
11:00 Veilwatch
Wednesday
7:30 My Two Baghdads
8:00 Survivor: Afghanistan
9:00 Two Guys a Girl and a Pita
9:30 Whose Jihad is it anyway
10:00 What Law and Order
11:00 Access: Kabul
Thursday
7:00 Married with 139 children
8:00 Mad about everything
8:30 Inside Osama
9:00 Husseinfeld
9:30 Just Shoot Everyone
10:00 Everybody Loves Osama
11:00 Behind the Mullah
Friday
7:00 Afghanistan's Funniest Surveillance Tapes
7:30 Afghanistan's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers
8:00 Achmeds Creek
9:00 The X-ecution Files
10:00 The Education of Yankee Pig Dubya
11:00 The No-witness News
Saturday
7:30 Spongbob & Squareturban
8:00 Powderkeg Girls
9:00 Touched by an Infidel
10:00 Judge Laden
Sunday
7:00 Beat the Press
7:30 The Osama Factor
8:00 Osama in the Middle
8:30 Win Ben Ladens Money
9:00 Who Wants to Marry a Terrorist Millionaire
10:00 Camel 54 Where are you?
10:30 The Amazing race for Shelter form U.S. Bombing Attacks
I just had to share this with you...he, he, heeee!
Diesel
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Dang, for a moment there I thought I was talking to myself.
Diesel
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NEVER, Brother! Jist hard ta type while I be trying ta avoid all the sharp items on the floor, hurtin' mahsef with them gales o' LAUGHTER! <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0">
[ 17-12-2001: Message edited by: Teufelhund ]
OO-RAH!!!
[ 16-12-2001: Message edited by: Teufelhund ]
Diesel
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Bit of music to go with the ramadan angels of usama...they are actually pretty funny...fit right into my cranky sense of humor...music/propaganda...go well together.
Diesel
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What I relly want is the original muffler for this thing...they are kindof kinky...they work!
Diesel
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Diesel
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Diesel
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Me thinks you have ENTIRELY too much time on yer hands... <IMG alt="image" SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0">
Diesel
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Ok, what kind of idiot would seriously think they saw Osama watching a football game?
And what kind of idiot would believe the first idiot and launch a man hunt?
Anyway, I posted it for the humor and political interest...not because I thought much of the story as a story.
Diesel
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