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worried

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
im worried about my cousin.

she's married to this guy and I dont see her as much as I used to, partly because this guy is stuck to her hip, or vice versa, and partly because we're both so busy. The thing is, recently i've seen her and she seems to have lost quite a bit of weight, and she's drinking a hell of a lot. I guess Im just worried because since they've been married she's changed so much. I talked to her mum about it the last time I went over to visit her, and her mum seems to think she's happy. Although she's changed, she says she's completely fine and trusts her new son in law with her daughter's 'health and safety' and all that shit.

Well, anyway, I just wandered whether or not I should be seriously worried, or if this happens when people get married or fall in love or whatever. I've never seen it before, but she did get married young and im slightly worried she wasn't quite sure what she was getting into. I've never known anyone else to get married so young, so I dont know the 'norm'.

well, any comments would be really great, and i suppose i better go and introduce myself now... being as though I haven't done that yet!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm really not sure what you can do here, because don't take this the wrong way but it's not really your business! They're a married couple now so there's not much you can do :(

    Still, you could always make the effort to arrange a date with her, like dinner or something, or ask her if she wants to come and stay for a weekend. Catch up on news, and then talk to her about why you're worried - don't come on too strong, but let her know you're concerned and you just want to make sure she's completely happy. Then you're leaving the ball in her court and if she's unhappy she can talk to you, and if not you'll just have to let it be.

    Just an idea, anyway. :) That any help at all?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by perfect***day
    I'm really not sure what you can do here, because don't take this the wrong way but it's not really your business! They're a married couple now so there's not much you can do :(

    Still, you could always make the effort to arrange a date with her, like dinner or something, or ask her if she wants to come and stay for a weekend. Catch up on news, and then talk to her about why you're worried - don't come on too strong, but let her know you're concerned and you just want to make sure she's completely happy. Then you're leaving the ball in her court and if she's unhappy she can talk to you, and if not you'll just have to let it be.

    Just an idea, anyway. :) That any help at all?

    I agree with what perfect day says, maybe if you spend some proper time with her your worries might be put at ease.

    Also, i think, if she had any serious problems her mum would clock on.. Mums are pretty great at that sort of thing. So for now, trust her mum's judgement, but it would be a good idea to arrange a day to spend with your cousin just to suss things out for yourself.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can you phone her when you know he's going to be out? You need to speak to her on her own really and ask her if anything's wrong.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have tried talking to her about it before. She admits she got married very young, she was 18 and he was 35, but she says she doesnt regret it. I've spent quite a few days with her since the wedding, just shopping and everything, she's had a lot going on with work recently so I havent had a good chance to talk to her. But she knows how I feel, and although her mum think's she is safe and happy, I dont think she believes its an ideal situation.

    I guess i've just got to try and talk to her again about it all. Her life has changed a hell of a lot though since she was a teenager, and then all of a sudden she just up'd and got married. I dont think she's had a chance to settle and think about what she wants.
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