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Birth Control in Alabama ~ humor
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as
they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his
doctor/veterinarian and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to
have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could
fix the problem, but it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the
doctor, is to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama),
light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count
to 10.
The husband said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest buck around, but
I don't see how puttin' a cherry bomb in my beer can next to my ear is gonna
fix me."
"Trust me," said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb, and put it in a beer can. He held
the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he
paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his
other hand.
This procedure also works in Tennessee, Mississippi, Missouri and Arkansas.
ALSO WORKS EVERYTIME IN KENTUCKY AND TEXAS.
Diesel
88888888 <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0">
they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his
doctor/veterinarian and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to
have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could
fix the problem, but it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the
doctor, is to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama),
light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count
to 10.
The husband said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest buck around, but
I don't see how puttin' a cherry bomb in my beer can next to my ear is gonna
fix me."
"Trust me," said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb, and put it in a beer can. He held
the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he
paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his
other hand.
This procedure also works in Tennessee, Mississippi, Missouri and Arkansas.
ALSO WORKS EVERYTIME IN KENTUCKY AND TEXAS.
Diesel
88888888 <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0">
0
Comments
rednecks are cool (to make fun of)
Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the park administrators noticed Ed, a part-time redneck intern, responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Ed, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species.
So, the park administrators thought they might have a solution. Ed was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500? Ed showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, Ed announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions.
"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her. Secondly, you must never tell anyone about this."
The park administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.
"Well," said Ed, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500." <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0">
Diesel
88888888