Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Aged 16-25? Share your experience of using the discussion boards and receive a £25 voucher! Take part via text-chat, video or phone. Click here to find out more and to take part.
Options

Lurve casualty

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Lurve casualty. That's me! you see my ex is in love with a new girl. Problem is she has a boyfriend and has told my ex that she wants to wait two months to get to know the ex better before she leaves her boyfriend for him. They haven't kissed or anything. I think that is her way of gently telling the ex that she's not interested in him, but I can't say that to the ex cos he'll think I'm saying it for my own benefit. The real probloem is that even though I have managed, somehow, to stop calling texting and emailing him every five minutes, he is still contacting me.

On staurday night he left a message on my answer machine saying he just called to hear my voice, he was missing me badly and that he loves me lots. Then the next day he's texting me about how the girl he fancies was with her boyf in the pub and the ex was chatting up other girls to make her jealous. And that calling me was a drunken mistake. I sent a text back saying please do not contact me any more I can't handle it, especially when you're sending mixed messages. No reply.

We were together for three years, split in Feb but still have friends in common and see each other every couple of weeks. Basically, I have a few questions that some of you may be able to help me with:

Why is he doing this to me - telling me he loves me and misses me then telling me all about this girl he wants but can't have?

How I can I get rid of this sick feeling in my stomach that is stopping me from eating (I'm wasting away...)

And how will I get through the next few days, weeks, months knowing now that I've said no contact then that's probably exactly what will happen and I can look at my phone all I want but he ain't gonna get in touch?

Any one got some chicken soup for the soul type stories to help me keep faith in lurve. I'm a-hurtin' bad, real bad.

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aw hun. {HUG}

    I'm afraid there are no quick-fix answers. 3 years is a long time and it'll take a while to sort your head out I'm afraid.

    Sound to me like your X is a little confused himself. But you have taken the right step forward by telling him to leave you alone. OK I know it hurts but would you rather he was with you thinking about someone else? I didn't think so.

    I'm guessing he still sees you as some kind of emotional crutch. Like I said 3 years is a long time and you both were there for each other through stuff. I would stick to your guns and take the breathing space. If he starts bothering you we'll get the gang round. :D
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Lurve casualty
    Originally posted by honey_bunnee
    Why is he doing this to me - telling me he loves me and misses me then telling me all about this girl he wants but can't have?

    My ex did this too. He wants to keep up the contact with you, keep you interested, make you feel guilty so that you won't find someone else in a hurry. But he also wants to show you that he can get out there and move on, and that he's not totally obsessed with you. I think you've done the right thing by asking him not to contact you. It hurts now but it will be much much better in the long run, I promise you. Please look after yourself, try and eat and sleep properly, and go out with some good friends. I'm sure that if they're good mates they'll understand that you don't want to see him for a while, so just tell them that. When I broke up with my ex, my friends kept inviting him to stuff which was really awkward but then I asked if they'd mind leaving him out of things for a while and they understood. There's no shame in distancing yourself from him for a while and not being friends with him for a few weeks or months, until you clear your head.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So are you over your ex now? How long did it take to feel better, and do you see him now and think you're glad it's over etc etc... !
Sign In or Register to comment.