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I can't stop crying, my bf cheated...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My boyfriend whom Ive been with off and on for about 11 months, has this obsession with cars. He is always on message boards like these but ones for cars. And on those dumb boards, there is always a place for the guys to talk about girls, post pics of hot girls, ect. and i got on there wondering if my bf really does say good stuff about me. he told me that, he was like "baby, all the guys on there know who u r and know that im in luv w/ u."
so i didnt think i wud find what I did find. HOLY SHIT!! on like every topic of a hot girl, he made a reply of like "daaamn!" or like "id tap that!" (meaning he'd do her) how fucking low is that!! that happened about 2 weeks ago, and im still a little mad about it. but he brought me flowers and did the wholeguilt trip so i took him back. THEN like 5 minutes ago i got on another forum thing that i knew he has posted on before and i saw the exact same thing but this time, HE WAS THE ONE WHO MADE THE TOPIC OF THE HALF NAKED GIRLS!! i just bearly confronted him and he said that it was a long time ago and he has changed now. and then he was blaming me, he was like "i bet you wud do the same too." and i was like "no, your so wrong there becuz unlike you, this relationship did mean alot to me, I wud never do anything like that to you." shud i break up with him?? ive put so much into our relationship. and we've broken up before in the middle of april but that was for a month. when i told my friend about this she said that i shouldnt be so uptight about it. god what am i supposed to do!! let him drool over hot girls then come back to me and be like "your the hottest girl." sorry but i cant lose the little dignity i have left. what shud i do!!


Edited to remove links - stop the man hating, and don't slag off other people and give their identity out on these boards. That's just not on, discuss the problem by all means but try and keep people's identity private. Susie

its assholes like him that make girls like me wanna become a lesbian.... :(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: I can't stop crying, my bf cheated...

    You don't want him to look at porn or anything? Surely that's a bit harsh? He's not cheating, he's appreciating a good looking woman. Sorry, but you really need to chill a bit. Guys look at porn and stuff, it's what they do. At least he's not posting saying "I shagged her last night, go me!"

    If someone walks past McDonalds and goes "Ooo, that smells nice" have they broken their diet?

    You can't expect yourself to be the only girl he finds attractive. It just doesn't work that way. Yes, he'll find you insanely attractive, but there are plenty of other girls out there. Don't tell me you've never looked at Justin Timberlake or Becks or someone and thought about how good looking they are.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh dear. Total over reaction.

    Lil Kazzy is completely right. It`s NOT cheating, it`s just the way lads talk. Mine still does it at the age of nearly 30, but he`s also completely devoted to me and the kids.

    So you really need to get a grip, or you will drive him away carrying on like that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i agree with whats been said... hes only looking at pictures of unobtainable women-its not cheating at all!

    hes probably trying to look macho infront of the lads, but i really wouldnt worry about it, if you do it might have the effect of driving him away...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You need to just chill out and accept this. When I first read the post I was expecting him to have wrote he's cheated on these boards and then i thought he might have posted a picture of his ex or something. They all look like models and your BF has every right to look at them, he's not trying to be macho it is just what lads (and lasses) do. So what if he finds them attractive, and he certainly hasn't cheated on you from what you have told us.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Lickalotapuss
    You need to just chill out and accept this. When I first read the post I was expecting him to have wrote he's cheated on these boards and then i thought he might have posted a picture of his ex or something.

    Yeah me too.

    Sorry but I agree with everyone else, he hasn't cheated on you! All he's doing is looking at pictures of good looking women who he will never have! Everyone does it, I'm sure you think some celebrities or even guys you see in the street are good looking.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *hellie*
    Yeah me too.

    Sorry but I agree with everyone else, he hasn't cheated on you! All he's doing is looking at pictures of good looking women who he will never have! Everyone does it, I'm sure you think some celebrities or even guys you see in the street are good looking.

    My thoughts exactly!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was so incredibly mis-led by this post. The subject title is wrong! Hes not cheating, hes just doing the whole "look but dont touch" thing! We all do it, it keeps us healthy! Hes remaining faithful but being appreciative of others too (doesnt mean he doesnt worship you too!). Its completely harmless! Cheer up!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sweet fuck- if one of my gfs wanted to finish with me every time I looked at another woman or commeneted- wouldnt last an hour!

    I'd never hide the fact- and would aknowledge the if a womans good looking. Your both still young its par of life- so chill and forget-(or do the same)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your overeacting big time! Its normal! Im sure you do the same too :) Whenever im going out with someone i still check out other people.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by LadyT
    I was so incredibly mis-led by this post. The subject title is wrong! Hes not cheating, hes just doing the whole "look but dont touch" thing! We all do it, it keeps us healthy! Hes remaining faithful but being appreciative of others too (doesnt mean he doesnt worship you too!). Its completely harmless! Cheer up!
    I agree - it's not cheating and you really shouldn't be so upset! I understand you don't exactly like the thought of your boyfriend drooling over beautiful topless women - trust me, I don't either, and nor do most women! - but you've just got to accept that it's going to happen. :rolleyes:

    I think you should take him back if you feel you can be happy with him, but then again if it upsets you so much, even though I think it's a little extreme, then you may as well end the relationship. If you're not happy with the way things are, then why bother?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aww sorry :( I can see why you're upset. I would hate it if I found out my boyfriend had been doing this, to this extent. But it wouldn't make me dump him. It's NOT cheating. This is a bit of an overreaction.

    Even though it's not cheating, I don't think you should get back with him. You obviously can't handle this aspect of him and of the relationship. Unless you can talk this over like adults, and come to some sort of compromise, I don't think it's worth it.

    Sorry to be harsh, I'm feeling cynical.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    id be slightly pissed off if my partner was doing this, but at the end of the day its probably just harmless internet banter and hes trying to look macho.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Erm, he didn't cheat on you. I can understand why it's annoying that he does and says those things online, but he hasn't actually cheated on you. He's just doing what everybody does - look and admire other women/men. Of course the language is crude, but it's just the typical trying to fit in, look and sound good, and machismo (especially on something like a car site), that happens.
    Don't you ever look at a bloke and think "phwoor" or "he's a bit of allright", or anything like that. Don't you say things like that amongst your friends over pictures of blokes, or movie/pop stars, or just blokes walking by in the street? Because that's just the same thing really. It's window shopping - look but don't touch, fantasizing. Nothing more.

    An friend of mine had an ex who would go ballistic if she even thought he had looked at another girl, whether in real life, on the telly, or in a film, and if she thought he had any thoughts about them. Their relationship was ulitmately doomed - mainly because of that, but finally (after all the grief she had given him about even looking at other girls) she cheated on him and went off with someone else. Bitch. :rolleyes:

    You sound like you're totally over-reacting, and a bit obsessive. Calm down. It's fairly normal for him to be doing that. Just hope he grows out of it a bit.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
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