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Hawgdrivers Dream

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hawgdriver's Dream

(Someone pulled this off the Air Force Academy's {very
unofficial} message board. Written by a '96 grad who
apparently flies A-10s. What we all are REALLY thinking, but
a HOG driver says it.)

"Make no mistake about it... this war is gonna be a
Hawgdriver's dream... no more of this sending GPS guided
bombs from the ionosphere... I want to camp out on the
enemy's border... I want to yell across the border, in the
immortal words of Wyatt Earp (as portrayed by Kurt Russell),
"You tell 'em I'm coming! AND HELL'S COMING WITH ME!!"

I wanna punch Bin Laden in the face and say, 'You gonna do
something? Or just stand there and bleed?' And then, I wanna
laugh maniacally, as my 30mm shells decimate his camps.

I ain't talking about the Armor Piercing shells this time,
although the thought of poisoning their lungs (if, in the
unlikely event, they survived my attack) with the dirty dust
of spent uranium is quite refreshing... that would make the
cloud over New York seem like pure Oxygen.

I want High Explosive Incendiary (HEI) rounds...1150 of
them, fired 2 or 3 hundred at a time... like 3 hundred
grenades exploding all at once... and that's just my jet...
the three coming with me brings that total to 16 cans of
CBU-87...that's 3,232 individual submunitions for
them...that's what I want.

I want 4 Maverick missiles per jet...that's 16 of those
things...and if we run outta trucks and other small things
to hit with those missiles, I wanna find out what a maverick
will do when it locks onto a terrorist and hits him at just
over 1000 feet per second... there might not be enough
deceleration to detonate the thing but at that speed... I
don't think it would be necessary.

And I want 2 pods of rockets, hanging from my wings. Seven
white phosphorous and seven HEI... I want the 'Willie Petes'
to put a cloud of smoke, to climb into the sky, to let
everyone following know...that's where the gettin' is
good...

And the HEI... well, I just want FRAG in the air, tearing
apart their greasy, scumbag bodies the same way they tore
into our nation... and then we'll start cleaning up with the
almighty General Electric GAU-8/A Avenger cannon... what a
perfect name... AVENGER CANNON!!!

If that's all I had, that's all I'd want... four hawgs, with
4600 of our little friends... lock and load, hammer
down!!!!!

But that's just my personal end... here's what else I
want...I want John Madden, Terry Bradshaw and Howie Long, to
take over CNN, NBC, ABC and every other news network, to
provide coverage of this war...

I want Madden, with his electronic chalkboard, out there
describing what's going on... "You see here, across the top
of the screen, that ridge line is exactly where the attack
is gonna come from... you'll see the Warthawgs come popping
over them and unleash a fury that we haven't seen since
Lawrence Taylor was on the prowl...Speaking of that, here
they come and BAM!!!

These guys are great!... they remind me of linemen... they
don't get much press coverage, but when they hit you, man do
you know it!"

I want Hank Williams, Jr. and Lee Greenwood belting out,
"I'M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN," as the intro to "Monday Night
AirStrikes"..."Fight night" would have a whole new meaning
now... I want to see Sports Center air, the "HIT OF THE
DAY":..."Today's strike comes from a flight of two A-10
Warthogs.. You'll see here that some terrorist got the wild
idea that he could shoot at these guys... you can see the
missile come up and totally miss the two jets... and here,
you see, as they roll in and unleash that awesome gun on the
point of origin... nothing left there now! And that's our,
PLAY OF THE DAY!"

I want Mills Lane, in the field, giving play by play
descriptions. I want "Flight of the Valkaries" playing at
full bore, from every mountainside, as we run in at 100
feet...

I want "WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE," playing after the first bomb
hits, and when I'm WINCHESTER ammunition, I wanna land on
Bin Laden's personal airstrip, grab him by his twisted, dead
neck and poke him in the eyes and say, "YOU JUST GOT KNOCKED
OUT!"

I want the NFL cheerleaders to send us off to war, and the
XFL cheerleaders to welcome us home. And while we're at it,
I don't just want to beat the crap outta these scumbags, I
want to humiliate them, too.

I want to see Shwartzkopf come outta retirement, to start
kicking some butt... I want a cure for Alzheimer's - right
now - to get Reagan back in working order, and like Dennis
Leary says, I want a cure for cancer, to thaw out the 'Duke'
and see just how pissed off he is right now.

I want STUKA terror sirens, mounted to the wings of my
Hawg... although the unique whine of our engines is about
all the terror siren we'll need right now...

All right, Zero... slow down... breathe... in... out...
ok... I think the coffee has worn off a bit now, and I
should get back to work. You just picked the wrong people to
mess with... not such a good day to be a bad guy."

To the guilty: "May God have mercy on you... because we
won't!"-John McCain.
http://fair4all.cz/OF/images/takeit.jpg

Diesel

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