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i fancy a 29 year old but im 17 help!!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I know this has probably been done loads of times but i didnt have time to search!! I dont know what to do, I really like him and I did before I even knew how old he was. He told me last saturday that he likes me and that he has done since he met me, which is about 7/8 months ago. I know he's 12 years older than me but the way I look at it is that if I was 40 and he was 52 people wouldnt care. Im more wooried about what my mum will say because he is closer to her age than mine!! Also my ex boyfriend is giving me loads of trouble about it and has told people so I know if anything happens i'm going to get shit. I know I should do what I want to do but I dont know!! Any ideas? It would be appreciated!! Cheers!!! xxx

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I cant be much help really cause things like this that happen to me make me think "nah i cant, hes too young/old". Dont really know why, i just kinda get it into my head...
    I'm the same age as you and have had a chance with a 15 yr old which i didnt take, then on the other hand, a probable chance with a 23 yr old which i also didnt take.
    But saying that, if its something you really want, then go for it. If its a mutual feeling, which it appears to be, theres nothing stopping you.
    Sorry i wasnt much help!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So people are saying he's too old for you?? If you like him and he likes you GO FOR IT! Age is nothing but a number, and as long as he appreciates what you do and do not want, then I don't see a problem with it. If your mum is pissed off then just explain to her that he makes you happy and it SHOULD keep her quiet for a while. If she asks to meet him (like mine did when she found out about my 'older man') then let her, and maybe she will see that he is a nice person (like mine did, still thinks he wants to get into my pants but she likes him). And don't worry about your ex. I'm assuming you dumped him if he's blackmailing you like that? And I'm also assuming he hasn't found another g/f? That's just being immature and jealous and unless you really value his friendship (which you shouldn't if he's doing that) forget him. Anyway, I'm done being unhelpful and confusing now :p Hope I helped :)

    Franki
    X
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *x*socksgirl*x*
    So people are saying he's too old for you?? If you like him and he likes you GO FOR IT! Age is nothing but a number, and as long as he appreciates what you do and do not want, then I don't see a problem with it.

    :yes:

    As long as youre old enough to know what you want- (which you sound like you are) and as long as this bloke can make you happy- (which it sounds like he would) then that should be enough.

    ~go for it girlie~
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Although I don't want to say 'yes, this age gap is ok,' 'no, this one isn't', I think you have a lot to think about here. It's not so much the age gap which is the problem, but the consequences which it'll have. Which I guess means that it IS the age gap which is the problem, but you get what I mean.

    If you did start a relationship with this guy, it would be a difficult one, for the reasons you've pointed out. Your ex boyfriend, your mum, your friends. Also, he's a lot older than you and so his lifestyle and his attitude to the relationship may be different to yours. This is all something you have to think about. I'm not saying that it can't work, because I've seen age gaps which aren't quite this big, but say between a 17 and a 25 year old, and they've worked out really well and couldn't be happier. But a fairly human reaction to seeing an older man with a teenage girl is to think 'what's he up to? What does he want from her?'. Which is a horrible, cynical way to view things, but it's something you'll almost definitely face. As long as you know you can trust him, and that he's a nice guy, you'll be able to reassure people that he doesn't have any dishonourable intentions!

    I really want to be a romantic and say go for it, because I believe that if you really like him, you'll find a way of making it work. But only if you think he's worth it.

    Sorry to be boring and realistic. I do hope you can work it out, though, because everyone deserves to be happy! Good Luck with it.

    LSS
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell your ex boyfriend to mind his own business!

    I think any 27 year old who finds more interest in a young girl than someone his own age needs his head seeing too.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On the bright side.....

    One of my best mates started a relationship when she was 17 with a 29 year old (she had previously been out with his 26 year old flat mate) and four years later they're still going strong, live together and worship the ground each other stands on. It's a bit of an unlikely match in the way, as my friend is very academic (always gets firsts :rolleyes: ) and he and their social greoup aren't very educated, but it still works well. It probably helps that my friend has always been very mature and acts much older than she is, so she was in no way niave and teenager-like when she was 17. In fact now she's 21 going on 35 (in a good way!)

    So these things can work, and as others have said if you let your mum meet him and show everyone how well you work together, their worries should melt away.

    Good luck ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    age means nothing if you both really care about each other. it's not that bad - the age difference- some of my mates have done worse
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    age means nothing its a number
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When you say he`s nearer to your mum`s age than yours, how near do you mean? I have to admit if my 17 year old daughter came home with a boyfriend a couple of years younger than me, I don`t think I would be entirely happy.

    BUT - you have to let kids do their own shit, make their own mistakes etc, etc, if it did turn out to be a mistake. So although I might be somewhat sceptical, I`d probably not make it obvious, sit back and see what happened.

    A LOT would also depend on what he was like.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Meryn
    On the bright side.....

    One of my best mates started a relationship when she was 17 with a 29 year old (she had previously been out with his 26 year old flat mate) and four years later they're still going strong, live together and worship the ground each other stands on. It's a bit of an unlikely match in the way, as my friend is very academic (always gets firsts :rolleyes: ) and he and their social greoup aren't very educated, but it still works well. It probably helps that my friend has always been very mature and acts much older than she is, so she was in no way niave and teenager-like when she was 17. In fact now she's 21 going on 35 (in a good way!)

    So these things can work, and as others have said if you let your mum meet him and show everyone how well you work together, their worries should melt away.

    Good luck ;)

    im sure your friends happy and in a loving relationship but...

    one bit gets to me, the "she acts much older " part since a person doesnt act older, they just are more mature, theres a difference, just amatter of principle,girls havent gone out with me cause im their age and not mature enouh for them thouh they dont me enouh to make a judement like that, like people can be silly yt mature when its actually needed for them to keep a level head whilst some people act all adult like then when a situation requires them to actualy be mature,they act like a spolit brat (my exs spring to mind, haha) if you get me!?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cheers for the advice!! hes 29 and my mums 39!! i really do like him and he has had chances to get into my knickers but he hasnt!! the way he seems to be with me seems like hes interested but i guess im just worried about what everyone will say even though its got nothing to do with them!! anymore advice would be appreciated or anyone with past experiences!! thanks you've cheered me up!! :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by LonDoNErcHriS85
    im sure your friends happy and in a loving relationship but...

    one bit gets to me, the "she acts much older " part since a person doesnt act older, they just are more mature, theres a difference, just amatter of principle,girls havent gone out with me cause im their age and not mature enouh for them thouh they dont me enouh to make a judement like that, like people can be silly yt mature when its actually needed for them to keep a level head whilst some people act all adult like then when a situation requires them to actualy be mature,they act like a spolit brat (my exs spring to mind, haha) if you get me!?

    Ah, I don't mean she puts on an act, I just mean she had a more mature mindset than your average 17 year old, and so she had more in common with her bf year old than most 17 year olds. Theirs is a completely equal relationship, and her bf has never looked down on or patronised her because of her age. In fact she's a hell of a lot more practical than him, and it's due to her that he started putting money into savings and was able to move out of his smelly bedsit into a bigger flat.

    She's a strange one is Kylie, has always been able to get on well with older people on equal terms. And her ability as an agony aunt is alway well appreciated!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You are legal.

    I'm 19 and I want to fool around with a 37 year old..blah blah.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have a 12 yrs difference with my husband... so definately go for it! It is not the age that counts, but the character of a person and how you feel when you are togeter!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BumbleBee
    I think any 27 year old who finds more interest in a young girl than someone his own age needs his head seeing too.
    I think someone who thinks like this needs there head seeing to.
    What is wrong with this age gap, they're both legal. The law is set out because it is said that under the age of 16 you are not mature enough to make decisions about sex and stuff. She is 17 and can make a decision herself about what she wants, she has come on the boards to ask for advice on the age thing and she doesn't need telling that her potential partner needs his head seeing to. From what I gather they haven't even had sex yet and even if they had its all legal and should be no problem.
    You need to get your head from out of the clouds and come down to earth and see reality.

    Kissmequick - If you like this guy and think there is a chance of it working out for you then go for it, what have you to lose (unless your a virgin, then you can lose that :) ) Age shouldn't matter as long as your both alright with it and he doesn't think he's better than you etc. etc.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Men are so confusing 1 minute their all over you like a rash then they give off the impression that we dont even exist. When i see him in town he always hugs me etc but over the phone or what have you hes so strange!!For god sake!!
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