Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Aged 16-25? Share your experience of using the discussion boards and receive a £25 voucher! Take part via text-chat, video or phone. Click here to find out more and to take part.
Options

OMG, no social life because of gf.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
There's no way around her. She won't let me out without her having to tag along, even if it's just lads, meaning I end up staying at home.
Aaaaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I either tell her I have night shifts (lying) and go out, or dump her.
I drive everywhere so I only have 2-3 drinks.
The lying thing is working great. She doesn't know anybody around here so she would not ever find out. We live together and she works out of town. I have uni and work here and other mates so I have a lot cover. I know it's sad and deceitful, but my life (what's left of it) is not very happy and joyful because of her. She makes me miserable and p***ed off.
I know a lot of you will criticise me for it, but would you want to be trapped and missing out on all the good things? I'm too young and in uni. I'm sorting out some new flat mates and she'll be out the door back to our home town 190 miles away (we're from the same city).
I haven't cheated on her.

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The only thing she doesn't check is the mileage on my car!!! Emails and texts have to be deleted regularly.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But - why would you have to delete e-mails and texts if they are not incriminating you in any way. I'm sorry but you are being a wuss. If you don't have the where with all to tell her straight that you sometimes need to spend some time away from her with your own mates doing your own thing then you will have to accept that you are going to have to put up with your girlfriend being there all the time..

    ANYWAY - weeks ago you said you were dumping her but you still havent. She probably has every right to be suspicious if you are still acting like everything is ok and you are still a couple but you are planning to dump her, chuck her out and get on with life without her.

    You say she works and you are a student so I imagine the flat you share may not be within your budget if you do tell her to move out, in fact - as she is the one with the job it probably makes more sense for her to stay and you to move to a cheaper place.

    The reality is that you are waiting for her to move but you aren't being honest so she has no Idea that this is what you are planning. Get a move on and tell her to leave, or better still- as you are the one who wants out then do the decent thing and leave yourself. Just do it...tomorrow..you have had long enough to plan this!!

    YES...she may be annoying, YES she may be suspicious and jealous but she still wants to be with you and you are the only one who can explain to her how you are feeling. She won't get it through osmosis...you need to be honest and stop fannying around.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sorting it. We're from the same city 190 miles away. The only thing keeping her here is me. I was the only reason as to why she moved up. I'm talking to prospective flat mates at present. That's the only thing that I have to wait for. Everyone around here only knows (she doesn't know them) because of how she treats me. There is nothing that incriminates me. She doesn't want ANY females anywhere near me, not via work or even friends I've known for years.
    She deleted other females numbers off my phone not too long after we met.
    I've done nothing wrong (that she knows of) for her to suspect me.
    She's just about to turn 18, so when we met, she didn't have a past of any kind. I just turned 20, so I have a past, which is her main basis for not trusting me, and what have you.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OK - but by not being honest with her now you are reinforcing her idea that you (And other men) are untrustworthy shits. I assume she moved up to be with you and now you are going to surprise her by saying 'bye, I want you out now please' How cruel is that?

    You must tell her now, tell her now!! Where is she now? are you both in the flat together?

    Answer me honestly.....


    When did you last have sex?

    When did you last hold hands?

    When did you last go out together - even if it was just out shopping.

    When did you last speak to her (Have a conversation)

    Where is she now?

    PLEASE ANSWER ...then I may have more insight into this situation.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When did you last have sex?

    When did you last hold hands?

    When did you last go out together - even if it was just out shopping.

    When did you last speak to her (Have a conversation)

    Where is she now?


    Sex used to be 3 times a day, when we lived with our respective parents. Since we moved up, it's become about twice a month!
    I thought it was supposed to be the opposite.
    Holding hands... now and then, really. She always says I don't know my own strength... everyone says that. I keep banging doors open against walls, moving the sofa if I don't see it by 2 feet!
    Last out together... not sure actually. She owes me quite a fair bit of money becasue she's so crap with money. She works FT and she still can't control her dosh.
    We speak all the time. I tried talking to her about me being able to meet my mates. She said, before I had a chance to explain anything, she'd lock me out! When she called me at from her work, I mentioned the boys are out Sat night and she hung up on me!
    She's asleep at the mo.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by -=Shacques©=-
    When did you last have sex?

    When did you last hold hands?

    When did you last go out together - even if it was just out shopping.

    When did you last speak to her (Have a conversation)

    Where is she now?


    Sex used to be 3 times a day, when we lived with our respective parents. Since we moved up, it's become about twice a month!
    I thought it was supposed to be the opposite.
    Holding hands... now and then, really. She always says I don't know my own strength... everyone says that. I keep banging doors open against walls, moving the sofa if I don't see it by 2 feet!
    Last out together... not sure actually. She owes me quite a fair bit of money becasue she's so crap with money. She works FT and she still can't control her dosh.
    We speak all the time. I tried talking to her about me being able to meet my mates. She said, before I had a chance to explain anything, she'd lock me out! When she called me at from her work, I mentioned the boys are out Sat night and she hung up on me!
    She's asleep at the mo.


    See - you are not answering my question...Once or twice a month doesn't cut it..I want to know exactly when and you must know as you are so obsessed by it.

    WHEN? Was it in the last couple of weeks?

    Did you hold hands this week at all?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We still hug each other in bed and and on the sofa everyday. That's the main time for holding hands.
    Sex? About 2-3 weeks ago.
    To be honest, I can't be bothered with her. I'm going to sit her down and say the reasons. I know what I want and need. I'm far too yound to be trapped.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We hug each other eveyday in bed and on the sofa. That's the main time for holding hands.
    Sex was about 2-3 weeks ago.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OK - thanks...why are you still having sex with someone you are about to shaft big time? I don't believe you are really ready to leave her (Or ask her to leave) - you are waiting for HER to get the hint and make the decision herself.

    Anyway - perhaps she has another bloke? Perhaps her jealousy is because she has played away and so she knows its possible, feels guilty and is worried that you will do the same!

    You say you have done nothing wrong (That she knows of) .....I'm sorry but she seems to have a very good set of reasons to suspect you even if she is not totally aware of the stuff you may have done! I think you'll be doing her a favour in the long run by telling her to leave....do it when she wakes up!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: OMG, no social life because of gf.
    Originally posted by -=Shacques©=-
    There's no way around her. She won't let me out without her having to tag along, even if it's just lads, meaning I end up staying at home.
    Aaaaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Erm.... I would like to spend more time with my honey.....but....*sigh*..due to my job and my tight flying schedule, ..... we hardly spend time together... :(
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You either need to tell her you need time with your mates and if she can't/won't accept this then it's time to tell her to get out of your flat and tell her to shut the door on the way out :)
    Been there and it's shit. It has to be when you have to lie just so you can see your mates, girls should not rule your life ever. You need to stand up for yourself and tell her how it is she can either like it or leave. Spending less time together with a lass makes what time you do spend together a whole lot better. There HAS to be trust otherwise when you are together you will just argue.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Gawd if i had you for a boyfriend i'd be kicking meself.

    You come across as a spineless twat. No other word for it. You want more time with your mates? Tell her. You want her to go? Tell her. You wanna break up with her? Tell her.

    You dont just sit around going behind her back and lying, when it could be solved with a simple conversation.

    Obviously your not mature enough to be in this kinda relationship.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by -=Shacques©=-

    I've done nothing wrong (that she knows of) for her to suspect me.

    she deserves someone better than you. And she probably does know that you've done something (you obviously have - see above quote), that's why she is so suspicious.

    Have you ever thought that she tags along in order to try and make her own friends? you've just said yourself that she knows no one here. Maybe she feels left out, and lonely. She has no one around except from you.

    Personally i think you're messing her about. I dont know the full extent to your situation, but from what you've written, this is what I can gather.

    How long have you been together?

    Do you even love her?

    Do you not realise that she has moved 190 miles away from her family, her friends, her home... for you???? And you cant do her the curteousy of being honest? I feel sorry for the poor girl, she obviously loves you more than you could ever love her. Be fair to her, if you cared at all, you'd be honest with her.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Although I prefer to try and sugar coat my words, I have to agree with Lacy here. You sound like you're treating this girl appallingly. I may be wrong, but that's still the impression you're giving from everything you've written. Yes she sounds clingy but that's no excuse to be like this with her. You even say yourself that you're all she has and that she doesn't have any friends around where you are - surely you knew when she moved in with you that this would be the case?
    Originally posted by -=Shacques©=-
    She's just about to turn 18, so when we met, she didn't have a past of any kind. I just turned 20, so I have a past, which is her main basis for not trusting me, and what have you.

    And what the hell is that supposed to mean? You're only 2 years older than her. She's nearly 18! You haven't been around for her whole life - of course she has a 'past'.

    Come clean with the poor girl and try and sort out her problems, or be a man and break it off.

    Like I said, sorry if my judgement is way off the mark - you may be a very nice person for all I know - but your posts give me the impression that you're treating her, and this relationship, very badly.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by -=Shacques©=-
    I've done nothing wrong (that she knows of) for her to suspect me.

    Sorry I've only just noticed this sentence. What does that mean? So you have done something, she just doesn't know of it?

    Even if she doesn't know anything specific, your behaviour and attitude to her are probably setting off alarm bells!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The only thing I've done wrong is lie to her about where I was last week on two nights. I've only ever had 4 or 5 nights out with mates in 21 months! All I did was meet them and drink coke (I drove).
    Everything is else is dandy. She doesn't like my past experiences. That's all that concerns her.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by lisa simpson's saxophone
    Although I prefer to try and sugar coat my words, I have to agree with Lacy here. You sound like you're treating this girl appallingly. I may be wrong, but that's still the impression you're giving from everything you've written. Yes she sounds clingy but that's no excuse to be like this with her. You even say yourself that you're all she has and that she doesn't have any friends around where you are - surely you knew when she moved in with you that this would be the case?



    And what the hell is that supposed to mean? You're only 2 years older than her. She's nearly 18! You haven't been around for her whole life - of course she has a 'past'.

    Come clean with the poor girl and try and sort out her problems, or be a man and break it off.

    Like I said, sorry if my judgement is way off the mark - you may be a very nice person for all I know - but your posts give me the impression that you're treating her, and this relationship, very badly.


    She's always gossiping and chatting to people at her work. She does want to meet up with them. So it's been a few months since she's known them, I said she should go out, she says "I've only known them 5 minutes."
    I've never stopped her going out.
    I'm her 1st serious bf when we met 21 months ago. I'd already been with other girls before that and she thinks that's wrong.
    The only other thing she susses me for are:
    She says I use the gym to look good for girls... I use it for myself. She says I bought an exensive car to look good... I bought it because that's what I like.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by -=Shacques©=-
    She's always gossiping and chatting to people at her work. She does want to meet up with them. So it's been a few months since she's known them, I said she should go out, she says "I've only known them 5 minutes."
    I've never stopped her going out.
    I'm her 1st serious bf when we met 21 months ago. I'd already been with other girls before that and she thinks that's wrong.
    The only other thing she susses me for are:
    She says I use the gym to look good for girls... I use it for myself. She says I bought an exensive car to look good... I bought it because that's what I like.

    Well im sorry but all this sneaking around your doing, and pretending, i aint suprised shes a bit suspicious! I would be.

    You've spent this thread slagging her and your relationship off, yet then do not do anything about it. Why? If you are that unhappy, whhhhhy are you still with her?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Look I understand that she's clingy and so on, and I feel for you there, I really do, but you made a commitment to this girl by moving in with her. Moving in together isn't just about having more sex, you're confirming that you really want to be together. Your attitude would suggest that you're not prepared for that commitment.
Sign In or Register to comment.