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Real Cute. . .

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?

A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction.

Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.

A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.

Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?

A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.

Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?

A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.

Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?

A: To use them in a war, silly.

Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?

A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.

Q: That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons with which they could have fought back?

A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.

Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.

A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons.
We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

Q: And what was that?

A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.

Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?

A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

Q: Kind of like what they do in China?

A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.

Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?

A: Right.

Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?

A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?

A: I told you, China is different.

Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?

A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.

Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?

A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?

A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Like in Iraq?

A: Exactly.

Q: And like in China, too?

A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.

Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?

A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.

Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?

A: Don't be a smart-ass.

Q: I didn't think I was being one.

A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.

Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?

A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.

Q: What's a military coup?

A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.

Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?

A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.

Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?

A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?

A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.

Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?

A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?

A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men ? fifteen of them Saudi Arabians ? hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings, killing over 3,000 Americans.

Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?

A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.

Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?

A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.

Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?

A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.

Q: Fighting drugs?

A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.

Q: How did they do such a good job?

A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.

Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?

A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.

Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?

A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.

Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?

A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.

Q: What's the difference?

A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.

Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.

A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.

Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.

A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

Q: Who trained them?

A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

Q: Was he from Afghanistan?

A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.

Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.

A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?

A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.

Q: So the Soviets ? I mean, the Russians ? are now our friends?

A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.

Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?

A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?

A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.

Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?

A: Well, yeah. For a while.

Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?

A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.

Q: Why did that make him our friend?

A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?

A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.

Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?

A: Most of the time, yes.

Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?

A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.

Q: Why?

A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless unAmerican Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?

A: Yes.

Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?

A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.

Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?

A. Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

(I did not write this. It's from an email that's been fowarded around.)
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Comments

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Simple enough for a child to understand! :lol:

    Oh pnj!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Clandestine
    Simple enough for a child to understand! :lol:

    Oh pnj!!!
    very good ...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Very good. Michael Moore stylee, horifying, informative AND comic.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fucking brilliant! Should be made a sticky thread! Look forward with great anticipation to any comments Bush apologists might have. :D:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Excellent, very good way to make the points that some have made during recently.........:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It is indeed very informative and funny:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ^ Up! :D

    Any comments pnj?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wonderful :lol::D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nice one. :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
    I love it!
    Has anyone pm'd pnj yet?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think pnj has purposely avoided this thread out of embarrassment for having been so easily gulled into believing what is now, to anyone with half a brain, so patently obvious as a protracted series of hypocrisies and double standards.

    Why have to confront the fact that you put faith in arguments which now have to all be dismissed in exchange for "he was a nasty evil man" as if that explains breaking every standard of international law, trashing an entire nation's diplomatic credibility and inspiring even greater human right's abuses by "friendly" repressive regimes all so our arms contractors and oil producers can syphon off even more billions of dollars from the public coffers?

    Much easier to close one's eyes and refuse to acknowledge that our leaders are, by complicity, just as evil as those they villify.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Excellent, good to see the art of satire is not dead. I didnt know whether to laugh or cry!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ^ Bump!
    :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You going to keep it at the top Al?

    Good idea, I still want to see a Pj comment, he must have read it..........
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry to be a pain, but that is exactly the reason I bumped it up.

    I won't do it again if pnj still refuses to comment, although I might send him the odd link to the thread from time to time.

    Come on pnj, it's a bit long but well worth it!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No I agree with keeping it here, we must see comment!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If he does, it wont be anything more than a complete dodge of the main point being exposed by this humorous little analysis.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    come on pnj, you know you have something to say;)

    Guess hes too embrassed of his government right heh heh heh
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tee heheehee he'll work something out eventually...

    ^ Top
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :D Well done Mr Roll.

    Hey, since today we seem to have a different pnj perhaps we can get him to (finally comment) on this thread, since the 'usual' pnj has been reluctant to do so.

    So, have you read the initial post pnj? What do you think of it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I doubt you could expect much in the way of either serious reflection or comprehension of the intent of that post Al. The jock has already demonstrated the extent of his analytical abilities quite clearly i suspect.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    might as well move it to the very top again ^^
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It should be made a sticky. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Give it up lads! lol.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *newbie to these forums, blame crescendo for my presense here :)*

    i take it PNJ is some sort of neo-conservative?

    "yes! america is completely justified in invading a country half the world away because their leader is nasty to people that have nothing to do with us!"
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No Blackie, pnj is more a case of a young lad who thinks he has faintest inkling of what's truly going on and the reasons behind it all courtesy of his favorite sensationalistic spin saturated news sources (Fox News and The NY Post).

    Insofar as he calls anything that exposes the lies with which he has been consistenant enamoured "slanted and untrue", he simply demonstrates the typical defiance of one who, out of youthful exhuberance and/or lack of any personal world experience, clings to the belief that he has all the answers he needs.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dont call me blackie, or i shall be forced to rammie my fistie down your throatie :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ahh just basing it on your nick thats all. no racial slur intended
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    3.
    ...
    ...
    ...

    2.
    ..
    ..
    ..

    1.
    .
    .
    .

    And we have lift-off! ^^^
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