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What can i do?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi guys, i really need help now i cant stop crying

I have exams coming up and parents who really are getting to me, i cannot cope

I am revising in my own time when i please, thing is i do loads of voluntary work so am pretty busy, thing is they want me to work extra hours at somerfields, do revision, and give up my voluntary work. i revise in my own time yet they seem to think i can cope with it every hour of every fucking day!:( :mad:

I CANT! sorry parents to let you down

I am crying my eyes out all the time, last week a mate of mine who has got a level biology agreed to help me, we had one session i LEARNT SO MUCH! yet they stopped me from seeing him as he is an 'interferance' which is bullshit!

I cant revise with the stress of not being allowed certian friend (yeah they tell me who i can and cannot hang out with too!) i am making myself ill with the crying yet i tell them and they get so angry and say im living in a holtel come and go as i please!

Never allowed to use the computer for school work as my sister wishes to play games she gets priority as im always on it for copursework, all my coursework saw an improvement from last year with an e to 6 A's

Im 18 with no freedom, i cannot think of a way around the situation! I cannot cope with this!:(

they have gone out as a family im left, to revise when i should have been meeting a mate, what i dont understand is that i am ahead of my timetabl (yes i am very sensible with revision) yet their behaviour is making me hate revision! (i told them this and they will not listen i chose to stay local for uni they are pushing me away the further i get pushed away the more i get told off! i really really cant cope :crying:

Should i just move out? or maybe if i paid rent to live there then its more a proffesional approach than mother, father daughter relationship!

in fact i a lovely daughter in the sense that if i go out i will make sure im in at 10:30 as to not wake them up i never go out past then im out during the day most days however, they dont like this if i paid rent i could come and go as i please and not have to listen to what they say,

Another thing that annoys me is im not allowed to talk to anyone about how i feel. last year i saw a councellor about them as i was very depressed they told me off and still not forgiven me! i spoken to a teacher recently about this revisonm thing they told my parents i was fine i got in trouble! so i will probably get told off for having this! But i need to talk to somebody and i cant live like this not being allowed to see my mates!

What can i do????



:(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The problem with rent is that i still get family allowance for being in education all of that goes to my sister as well as hers, so they get enough off me!

    I only get 25 a week so could only afford £20 at the most, £5 is mine. Why i have to work extra when i am apparantly struggling to do revision i dont know!!!!

    I love my voluntary work and without it and only working for somerfields i would be a wreck!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Awww *hugs* you're not the only one going through problems with the stress of parents and exams, Devil, if that's any consolation.

    I really don't know what to advise as I don't know you or your parents well enough, but I think it would be sad if it came to paying rent to your own parents - I also don't think that would solve the problem.

    All you can do is try to prove to them that you really are working, and I have to say that you should maybe make some small sacrifices - I know you enjoy your voluntary work but A Levels have to take priority, it's not as if you need money from them! Maybe if you gave up the voluntary work and showed your parents that you were putting revision at no.1 on your priority list, they'd lighten up a little? Remember, it's only about 5-6weeks until they're all over. Then things can only get better.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But thats the thing after they are all over i still have to give up EVERYTHING to do extra work at somerfields!

    I can understand the voluntary work should go until after the exams but to stop me from seeing my mates ALL TOGETHER thats harsh and what causes the trouble!:(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why are the so keen for you to work so much at somerfields?!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To get money, yet i hate it there and stresses me out so much, the eason i do my voluntary work is to socialise and the people i work with are so much more polite and welcoming, my boss is a bitch and i hate the rude customers!:mad:

    Dont evenget me started on customers!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Devil.

    I think they could be right in suggesting that you stop your voluntary work whilst your exams are going on. What I don't understand is why they want you to work more at Somerfields.

    You're 18 now I take it, so in a way you can make your own choices now. However, not to disrupt the peace why not try the following;

    1. Cut down on your voluntary work, and explain to your parents that you are making revision your number 1 priority.

    2. Go to the school libary to use the computers. Explain that you have to go as you're not allowed to use the one at home. This will let you have the space to revise and also give you the chance to see your friends.

    3. Continue your normal working hours at Somerfields. Don't think that you have to pay them rent. As long as you are in education then they still have the family credit.

    No-one really has the right to cause more stress to someone who is going through a more stressful time as anyone doing their exams. Once they've finished, take the time to just think what you want to do and see if they will support you. Remember, you can decide where you want to go now.

    Take care, hope you sort it out! :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why don't you try to strike a deal with your parents? Say, you'll give up the volunteer work until the exams are over and dedicate all your time to your A Levels, and then AFTER the exams you'll work a little more at Somerfields if they let you carry on the volunteer work and see your friends when you want.

    What are you doing after A Levels? If you're going to uni that'll be a welcome break and a fresh start, so you should start getting on better with your parents. If not, do you have plans for a more permanent job, or for moving out?

    Whatever you're feeling, just remember after exams things can only get better :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I fel terrible about uni been accepted everywhere only accepted the two local places coz my parents didnt want me to move but now im regretting it!!!!

    So will have this next year too!:(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can still move out. However if your parents don't like the idea, you can say that it is something you need to do and at least you'll still be close to them if you need anything.

    When you start uni- it won't be long when you make friends that have moved to where you are and house sharing is the norm now.

    You'll be ok!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah thanks for that! i suppose it will work but i wish i had moved now :(

    everyone told me to listen to my heart not what my parents were saying deep down i'd have loved to go away!

    But still i cannot cope with this!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *DEVIL*

    But still i cannot cope with this!
    You CAN. Keep your chin up, it's not that long until the end of exams. Shadowsurf's right, when you're at uni you can move out and live with friends, and you're 18 anyway so you should be able to do what you want.

    If you want to chat PM me, I'm doing my A Levels too and while my parents don't seem as extreme as yours, I'm going through a bit of a tough time with my mum.

    Smile :) YOU know you're working and that's more important than your parents interfering.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes, least i know that im working hard, its just annoying them not believing me:(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *DEVIL*
    yeah thanks for that! i suppose it will work but i wish i had moved now :(

    everyone told me to listen to my heart not what my parents were saying deep down i'd have loved to go away!

    But still i cannot cope with this!
    firstly *big hug* i don't really know what your going through coz my parents were pretty easy going when it came to revising etc, but what i was gonna say was can't you still go to another uni further away where you would need to move out. You could go through clearing when you get your results, just an idea:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks, i could try that but may lose everything, i just hope things can get better:(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *DEVIL*
    yeah thanks for that! i suppose it will work but i wish i had moved now :(

    everyone told me to listen to my heart not what my parents were saying deep down i'd have loved to go away!

    But still i cannot cope with this!
    You still could go away to Uni. It's not too late. The start of Uni is a few months away, and there's still time to try and find a remaining place on a course.
    I don't know what to suggest where your parents are concerned. They sound like control freaks. :(
    All I can suggest is to remind yourself that it's only a few more weeks before your A levels are behind you, then you can go away to Uni if you want. Or you could move out, and do as you wish! You're 18 now, technicaly that makes you an adult.
    Having said that, you say you don't think you can cope with moving out, or moving away? :(

    Mr_Wobble ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What I don't understand is that from what I've read here and in other posts, you seem to be the perfect daughter! How can your parents ask any more of you?!?!? :eek:

    I really can't figure out their reasoning or their way of thinking... mayeb the best thing would be to move out, even if you don't feel you can, if you show them you're serious about it unless things change, maybe you guys can sort things out and come to a compromise.

    Sorry for not being much help, I really hope it all works out for you.

    :) *hugs*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by StarryEyes
    What I don't understand is that from what I've read here and in other posts, you seem to be the perfect daughter! How can your parents ask any more of you?!?!? :eek:

    I really can't figure out their reasoning or their way of thinking... mayeb the best thing would be to move out, even if you don't feel you can, if you show them you're serious about it unless things change, maybe you guys can sort things out and come to a compromise.

    Sorry for not being much help, I really hope it all works out for you.

    :) *hugs*

    Prob is i cannot get a place until im 21 around here, i try to be a good daughter honest i do, help whenever i can never in trouble but its never good enough 4 them!
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