Home General Chat
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Aged 16-25? Share your experience of using the discussion boards and receive a £25 voucher! Take part via text-chat, video or phone. Click here to find out more and to take part.
Options

Some dads...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Poor bloke just read this.


Three girls are sat in their bedroom discussing what they are going to do that night. Whilst deciding, they hear a knock at the front door. Their dad answers it, to find a lad standing their. "Hiya' my names Lance, I've come to pick up Flance, to take her to the Dance, any chance?", "Sure" says the Dad, and with this Flance leaves for the Dance with Lance.
A short while later there is another knock at the door, again the Dad answers, and it's another lad who says "Hello sir, I'm Joe, I've come to pick up Flo, to take her to the show, can she go?, the Dad says o.k. and away she goes to the show.
The one girl left in on her own feels a bit left out, when finally there is another knock at the door, which again the dad answers. "Hiya, my names Tucker" "You can fuck off" Shouts the dad as the door slams shut.

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol:
    Brilliant :D
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol: not bad ;)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heh, nice one.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what rot
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by jacaranda
    what rot

    WTF?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't like the joke
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A man is rushing to work one day when he is knocked down by a car. When he comes round in the hospital, his wife is sitting next to the bed. He turns to her and says, "When I was unpopular at school, you took the time to get to know me and we started dating. When I failed my degree at university, you were there beside me. When I couldn't get a job through failing my degree, you were there beside me. When I did get a job, the same job I have been doing for 15 years without a pay rise, you were there beside me. I get run over, wake up in the hospital and you are there beside me. I have something I really need to say to you..." Choking back tears, the man's wifemoves to sit on the bed. She gently picks up her husband's hand in hers, "Yes my darling?" she says, "FUCK OFF YOU WITCH! YOU BRING ME BAD LUCK!"



    A family are on holiday at a nudist camp and are walking around. The little boy looks on as all these men with different sized dicks walk past. He asks his dad "Why are those men's willies all different sizes?" His dad replies, "Well, if you have a small dick, you are unintelligent but if you have a big one you are brainy."
    Later on the dad asks his son, "Where is your mother?" and the little boy says, "She's speaking to that man over there and he's getting brainier all the time!"
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by jacaranda
    I don't like the joke

    Oh well, you'll get over it.

    I thought it was funny felix. :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't like the joke

    I did :D:D
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *Lisa*
    WTF?

    I think what you mean, Lisa, is "Good gracious" or "I beg your pardon"

    :p

    *licks*
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No what i actually meant was 'WTF? you stuck up cow' But i was being polite. :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *Lisa*
    No what i actually meant was 'WTF? you stuck up cow' But i was being polite. :)

    that's better. :D

    is *prods* better?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by bad seed
    that's better. :D

    is *prods* better?

    Hehe, yeah.

    *Prods you violently* :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LMAO :lol:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :D
Sign In or Register to comment.