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Paedophilia

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BumbleBee
    I
    I think we can go to far in protecting our children.

    Becky said that people should eye others with suspicion if they are picking a child up from school and they seem strange etc. However, what about the children who are taken from the street, the ones we hear about on the news, the ones emotive people cry about? Surely nobody was looking out for them when they were "snatched". Who was there for them? Double standards I think.
    not sure i understand what your saying here bumble ...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by morrocan roll
    not sure i understand what your saying here bumble ...

    What I mean is, Becky says she would approach someone in the schoolyard if they were unfamiliar, just to make sure the child was ok.
    I couldnt possibly give you any figures, but if I saw someone at school be it male or female looking just a touch out of place, or they drewn any kind of attention to themselves then yes I would check that the child actually knows the person picking them up.
    BUt, like Kermit pointed out, a very high proportion of children are abused by their own family members. Does Becky interrogate all the parents? The problem is that people are too effected by the media and the hype. There is a bigger problem in the home.
    What I also meant was, it is all well and good saying we should look out for young children, but if we saw a young child in the street being approached by an adult, how many of us would step in? In the cases where children have been abducted, have people stepped in? Obviously not, or the child would not have been taken.

    It is easy to say "I would intervene" but how many of is do? For all we know any child on the street could be in the process of being kidnapped, or could be just about to go home to one hell of a beating. The danger is all around us and to limit it to paedophiles is stupid, because there are far greater risks in life - driving in a car, crossnig the road etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    becky was saying what she would do. if she thinks that checking someone in a school yard might protect a child, why do you have a problem with that? i don't think she is suggesting we stop every adult in every street and home! she is for doing the little bit that is possible for her personaly by the sounds of it. are you saying that because this wont protect every singlre child in the land she is wasting her time?
    in the school yard you get to know the faces. i was a regular face picking my kids up at school so no one batted an eye lid. if i had sent another bloke who no one had ever seen before i would hope there would be a teacher or a beckyboo to at least take notice!

    i take it your not a parent then?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by morrocan roll
    i take it your not a parent then?
    *Yawn*
    I am sick of hearing this old chestnut!

    So what?

    Am I incapable of having an opinion?
    I just think it is rather hypocritical to say you would do one thing in once instance but you wouldn't do the same thing in another instance, esp. if you are sooooo bothered about the safety of children.

    For you information, I am not a parent, no, but I share the same views as my mother, and last I checked she had two children. :rolleyes:

    I also see my fiances 2 year old cousin and 9 week old cousin on a daily basis. I also do voluntary work in a school. So I do have access to children.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Paedophilia
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    What you have to understand is I know these kids, my Daughters been to school with them since reception class. I know their Mums and some of their Dads so when something just doesent look right I do get a bit panicky, especially when children are involved.

    BUMBLEBEE see, read this bit before you try to say what you think im thinking or tell people what I would do. Ive known the children in my Daughters class for 3 years, now it dont take a genius to work out that I know most the Mothers and Fathers, so if someone strange is taking a child home and they may look a bit dodgy then of course im going to check that the child is ok :rolleyes:

    So im wrong to do this??? Thats exactly why children go missing, get abducted because people like yourself let things go and dont intervene.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BumbleBee
    take it your not a parent then?

    o
    *Yawn*
    I am sick of hearing this old chestnut!

    So what?
    this makes you sound very childish. of course most parents are going to have a different outlook and opinion regarding the protection of children than some kid who walks around saying ... 'so what'.
    your point of view seems pointless and meaningless to be honest.
    i tried to have a discussion but when it gets to ...'so what' ...
    i'm out of here!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BumbleBee
    [B
    I also see my fiances 2 year old cousin and 9 week old cousin on a daily basis. I also do voluntary work in a school. So I do have access to children. [/B]

    Access to children is nothing compared to the love you have for your own child.

    A Mothers love is undescribable, you would do anything for your child and you would do all you can to stop any harm coming to them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On one side I feel sorry for children being so over-protected...but then when I used to go play in the fields 8-10 years ago with my friends, we came across some seriously weird men. On another side I don't think anyone can truly comment on this till they are a parent...because we can judge and say it is too over-protective, but I know if it was my child in that playground I would be worried, whether it was being carried away or not because as BeckyB says a paternal love for child is so very deep.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by morrocan roll
    one thing that always gets up convicts noses is that kiddy fiddlers always used to get parole. it might have changed now with the introduction of the sex offenders register, i don't know.
    the reason they always got parole was because you are finishing off the rest of your sentence on probation. that way the the authorities would know exactly where you were living and would have you in their office twice a week. remember parole is not the same as remission which is automatic. whilst on parole you can be taken back to finish off your sentence at anytime.

    Makes sense IMHO, but longer prison sentences then a [period of probation would be better. Punishment should be handed out, but not by the public because mob punishment involves eyeballs and testicles.

    As for Becky, you are quite right to make sure that a child is OK, its a sensible thing to do, but you do still tend to get caught up in all the hype about pedophiles. A strange man collecting a child is unlikely to be a pedo, so you mustnt assume that any man is a pervert- basically what Simbelyne said. As I said, 95% of abuse is committed at home, and Im sure you dont assume that every father or grandfather is a pedo.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would think that anyone who really cared about the child would appreciate the fact that someone was keeping a look out for the child. thats much more important than a moments inconvenience or embarrasment at being confronted. I also think its good that people like Beckyboo look out for the other peoples kids, as it increases community spirit. All taking a bit of responsibility for the children of the community, wheres the harm in that?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    As for Becky, you are quite right to make sure that a child is OK, its a sensible thing to do, but you do still tend to get caught up in all the hype about pedophiles. A strange man collecting a child is unlikely to be a pedo, so you mustnt assume that any man is a pervert- basically what Simbelyne said. As I said, 95% of abuse is committed at home, and Im sure you dont assume that every father or grandfather is a pedo.

    Please check my 2nd post, page 1 I did state any strange male/female, I dont for one second think every strange man is a peado.
    Also if someone abducted a child from school it is not always for a sexual nature it could be for many reasons.

    If I saw a stranger at school im not going to walk up to them and say "Hey peado what you doing" I think I could be more diplomatic, there are ways of finding out if the child does know the so called stranger :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by girl with sharp teeth
    i don't think it's fair to say that only parents can have valid opinions about this subject.

    When you become a parent your views can change dramatically. Before having children I was totally the opposite from what I am these days.
    Thats the best way I can put it is, until you have children you cant imagine what it would be like to have a child/toddler go missing, all I know from my experience is that if my Daughter went missing I would be living a nightmare, my worst ever fear.
    so yes everyone has opinions but they can change when you actually have experience of having your own child, 24 hrs a day, 365 days a year.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by girl with sharp teeth
    and i said i appreciate that it's different. but it doesn't change the facts i'm afraid.

    Well it must change the fact to a certain degree. Its been made out on one occasion in this thread that maybe im taking it too far, that I am actually concerned about children in my Daughters class. I then went on to explain why I think I being a Mother feel different to someone who hasnt had a child of their own.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by girl with sharp teeth
    but i wasn't one of them. in fact i said i thought it was a good thing that you were looking out for kids.

    so in fact i feel the same way as you on this particular issue, and you having kids is irrelevant.

    Sorry I didnt mean you :)

    I am still learning this debating thing, I need to make myself clearer :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't believe that paedophilia only goes on in certain countries, like the Uk for instance. It's only that we have more technology readily available to broadcast it online and that it's more reported over here.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rainbow brite
    I would think that anyone who really cared about the child would appreciate the fact that someone was keeping a look out for the child. thats much more important than a moments inconvenience or embarrasment at being confronted. I also think its good that people like Beckyboo look out for the other peoples kids, as it increases community spirit. All taking a bit of responsibility for the children of the community, wheres the harm in that?

    My point was that its not a moment of inconvenience. The way the UK is going it is beginning to be a constant battle against being labelled a paedo. If every man you don't know is automatically assumed to be a paedo then its constant, unremitting humiliation. Of the kind that women complained about when they first started working. If we want men to be involved in childcare, can we start trusting them?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Simbelyne
    My point was that its not a moment of inconvenience. The way the UK is going it is beginning to be a constant battle against being labelled a paedo. If every man you don't know is automatically assumed to be a paedo then its constant, unremitting humiliation. Of the kind that women complained about when they first started working. If we want men to be involved in childcare, can we start trusting them?
    well if the same person was picking up the child regularly then noone would suspect anything. If on the other hand its a long string of carers, a different one each time, then people are bound to be suspicious.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rainbow brite
    well if the same person was picking up the child regularly then noone would suspect anything.

    Exactly my point. Being the main person who picks my Daughter up I see all the other parents, so I do notice if there is a stranger picking one of the kids up.
    Simbeylene its not just men that get this type of teatment, its any stranger be it male or female. Its people just being cautious thats all, which I think is a good point to be honest.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    When you become a parent your views can change dramatically. Before having children I was totally the opposite from what I am these days.
    Thats the best way I can put it is, until you have children you cant imagine what it would be like to have a child/toddler go missing, all I know from my experience is that if my Daughter went missing I would be living a nightmare, my worst ever fear.
    so yes everyone has opinions but they can change when you actually have experience of having your own child, 24 hrs a day, 365 days a year.

    Becky - Your experience may show that your opinion changed one hundred percent from what it once was, but you cannot legislate or prove an opinion right by basing it purely upon your own.

    I think that you said it yourself by saying 'your views CAN change' - in other words they may not.

    It isn't fair for any of us to completely disregard another persons opinion purly based upon the fact that our own has changed and I do think it is unfair to tell people that because they don't have children they can't possibly have a valid opinion.

    Granted, having a child is a huge lifechanging event and parents do find themselves overcome by a whole new set of emotions but there are also those people who have such opinions without having had children. I would guess that you would wholeheartedly support a childless woman who held the same opinion as yourself while opposing a childless woman with opposite views? Therefore it has nothing to do with the childless status of the individual but everything to do with the opinion they are stating.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Surely I have to base my opinion on this subject regarding what I would do NOW not say before my Daughter was born.

    What I would like to ask you is :
    What would you do if day after day you picked your child up from School and one day a stranger came to pick a child up, you have never seen this person before and there just seems something not right, you tell me what you would do.

    Because I am one of these parents who actually do care about my own child and other childrens welfare I am being made to justify my every move. So next time I see a stranger acting suspicious I will just let them get on with it should I ?
    Turn a blind eye then tomorrow find out that the child was snatched that night?

    I think I will stick with my own views on this matter as I could not sleep at night if I stood by and watched a stranger abduct a child while I stood and watched.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do not in any way disagree with someone, who obviously cares as much as you do, intervening when someone who is a stranger arrives to collect a child.

    I do however disagree with the assumption that people without children are not qualified to have an opinion regarding the welfare of children.

    I apologise for refering directly to you as it was Mr Roll who made the comment.

    I still think that the basic premis of the first post was the unfairness of a situation where men are viewed more suspiciously than women.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by byny


    I apologise for refering directly to you as it was Mr Roll who made the comment.

    Thank you :)

    Whilst im here I might as well say its not every stranger I would approach, they would have to be acting suspicious or the child showing signs of not wanting to go :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by byny

    I do however disagree with the assumption that people without children are not qualified to have an opinion regarding the welfare of children.

    I apologise for refering directly to you as it was Mr Roll who made the comment.

    mr roll never said any such thing! i think some of you try to hard to see things that are just not there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    Exactly my point. Being the main person who picks my Daughter up I see all the other parents, so I do notice if there is a stranger picking one of the kids up.
    Simbeylene its not just men that get this type of teatment, its any stranger be it male or female. Its people just being cautious thats all, which I think is a good point to be honest.

    Yes, I kind of understand but Oscar quite happily ran up to me (I have lived with him his whole life after all) and still i was getting suspicuious stares. I understand a bit of caution, but it doesn't have to be Daily Hate Mail style thats all!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Simbelyne
    Yes, I kind of understand but Oscar quite happily ran up to me (I have lived with him his whole life after all) and still i was getting suspicuious stares. I understand a bit of caution, but it doesn't have to be Daily Hate Mail style thats all!
    just ignore it then hun, maybe they were just being nosy wondering who you were rather than thinking anything bad?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rainbow brite
    just ignore it then hun, maybe they were just being nosy wondering who you were rather than thinking anything bad?

    Yeah, i'm probably just paranoid!:nervous:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by morrocan roll

    i take it your not a parent then?

    Apologies then Mr Roll - I guess you threw this in for no reason other than your own amusement, and not to provoke a reaction or make any suggestion that those who arent parents might not understand !!??


    Sorry if I got it wrong!!!
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