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Important Health Warning

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
The World Health Organisation today issued a new warning against non-essential travel to the entire Western hemisphere following renewed concerns about the spread of Severe Loss of Perspective Syndrome (SLOPS).

Officials are warning travellers not to visit the UK, the US, almost all of Western Europe, and Canada, following further outbreaks of the disease,which has led to mass panic among the media, thousands of ecstatic children being kept out of school by their credulous and moronic parents, and increased profits for DIY stores as the idiot public rush to bulk-buy face masks and boiler suits.

A WHO spokesman said, "You'd be much better off going to somewhere like Thailand or China, because all you've got to worry about there is SARS and let's face it, you're about as likely to die from that as you are to get kicked to death by a gang of zombie nuns."

The SARS virus has now claimed a staggering 500 lives in only six months,which makes it considerably more deadly than, say, malaria, which only kills around 3000 people every single day. Malaria, however, mainly affects only foreigners what speak foreign, whereas SARS has made at least one English person feel a bit iffy for a couple of days, and is therefore considered much more serious.

The spread of SLOPS has now reached pandemic proportions, with many high-level politicians seemingly affected by the disease. The rapid spread of SLOPS has been linked to the end of the war in Iraq and the need for Western leaders to give the public something else to worry about.
Otherwise, they might start asking uncomfortable questions about domestic issues.....and that simply would not do.

Comments

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol:

    A good way to get to the bar or through a crouded shopping centre is to loudly say to your mate.

    *Coughs loudly*

    "Has that cough got any worse since we got back from china?!?!?"

    All the space you need :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Brilliant!!!

    :lol:

    LMAO
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

    first laugh ive had today yay :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :thumb:

    I've been considering getting the "I went out for a Chinese Takeaway, and all I got was SARS" T-shirt from Corpse Clothing.

    Tasteful!?!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Cheezie Grin
    :thumb:

    I've been considering getting the "I went out for a Chinese Takeaway, and all I got was SARS" T-shirt from Corpse Clothing.

    Tasteful!?!

    Nah. QUALITY :thumb: :D
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