shit crap stuff.

Former Member

well, its quiet on here and im feeling all sad and lonely so I just wanted to air myself and I dont think anyone will read this as noone comes in here anyway and its really late so no one will be on for a while, by which time i'll be gone for a day or so.
anyway.
I used to have an eating disorder. At first I just stopped eating, i physically didnt feel hungry, and then when i started to get hungry again, i took paracetomels to get rid of the hunger pain. Anyway this made me really ill and since recovery, because of the damage of taking so many pills and always on an empty stomach, I can only eat little and often. I cant just have like a huge meal, it has to be really little and very often.
I've just realised recently that im not entirely better. I did put weight back on, but it suddenly hit me the other day that that's all gone again. People have been saying to me 'oh you've lost some weight', but i havent taken any notice. Anyway, I feel really shit now because i've just realised that im not *recovered* as such and its even worse because i cant be bothered to do anything about it.
Oh i dont know. I cant be bothered. Im just so fucked with the world right now. Im tired and exhausted and not eating properly and lost so much weight and i look like a fucking skeleton and its all crap.
the end.

Former Member

You ever talked to anyone about this?

Former Member

I would go and see your doctor for some advice, just because you have lost weight it doesn't mean you are back to having an eating disorder. As you can only eat small amounts perhaps that is what is causing you to lose weight, maybe you could try changing your diet to eat things that will put more weight on. Don't just leave it though because then your likely to go back to how you were, your doctor should be able to help.

Hope you feel better soon

Former Member

Originally posted by Tweety
You ever talked to anyone about this?

not properly. I used to see a councillor after my uncle Kev committed suicide, and then my dad left and it was all madness. I spoke to my partner about it once, but not to a great extent, because i didnt want to talk about it.
i'll see how I feel in a few weeks, if nothing gets better then i suppose i'll have to go and see my doctor. Thing is they already think im a weirdo down there, Im always going to see them about something or tother. Im not a hypochondriac or anything, but im not a massive fan of going to see them as i feel (and its probably me being paranoid) they think im a bit screwed. I've been down there as a *pregnant teen* (twice in fact), and down there for anti-depressants at 15, down there after i took an overdose, and i had to go for check ups on my stomach and that, down there with the last eating disorder, and i just feel that they look at me as if to say; what the hell are you doing to yourself? Are you mad?
They probably dont, but that's just the way i feel.

Former Member

I'm sorry to hear that you have a problem with your eating. I have a problem too and went to see a councellor but she didn't help she just made me feel worse!!!

Former Member

Once I was just like you. For some reason i just didnt eat, didnt feel hungry so eventually I did lose weight, felt run down, looked ill.
It got to the stage where I was only drinking fluids. Eventually I did start to sort myself out by eating small amounts often. I had to force myself to eat, even if it was just toast or a bickie. At least I was having something, then I started to eat bigger amounts until I was eating normal again.
Its only recently I think I know why I did it. Id had a bad time prior to this and by me not eating I felt in control. I could say what happened, I chose when to eat and when to not eat, it was my decision and nobody elses.
I really think you should go and see your doctor, basically to have some blood tests done. These will see if you do have an underlying problem. I went to my doctor and thats what he did, if I remember correctly they took 3 little tubes of blood, but they check for all sorts as you could now be aneamic also.
Go get some help, have a chat with your doctor and dont worry they wont think your a wierdo. Have you told your doctor about everything I mean all your problems? If you are depressed that could be why your not eating

Former Member

Hey this may not be helpful at all but what they hey. you said you hadn't really talked to anyone about so you could try talking to a friend about it(if you havent already) when i have problems (tho admittedly not to the same extent as yours) i often find just talking to a friend can really help.
xxx