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WHY do you want to get married

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
We all know who does and doesn't but WHY do you?

Is it 'to make a public declaration to the eorld' or 'because of my religion' or 'because years of conditioning have told me I must have that white dress to be worthy' etc etc

TELL ME WHY - I NO UNDERSTAND!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    for me it's saying to the people who know you that you've found the person you want to be with forever, and you're so sure that you want to be legally bound to them forever (barring divorce, of course, but i'd never want to get divorced).
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: WHY do you want to get married
    Originally posted by byny
    We all know who does and doesn't but WHY do you?

    Is it 'to make a public declaration to the eorld' or 'because of my religion' or 'because years of conditioning have told me I must have that white dress to be worthy' etc etc

    TELL ME WHY - I NO UNDERSTAND!!

    because Legal Junkie wants to... so i will. ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    also because i don't like my name :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by legal junkie
    also because i don't like my name :p

    i don't like mine though... can we swap somehow?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    for me its about telling the world and my guy (whoever he is) that ive found the one i love and plan to spend the rest of my life with
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by legal junkie
    (barring divorce, of course, but i'd never want to get divorced).
    Nobody wants to be divorced but circumstances do change sometimes. Im talking about myself here ive been divorce and now remarried.
    1st time marriage I wanted to be with him forever (at the beginning) but as I say things can change :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i cant think of anything nicer than finding someone you totally love and adore and wanting to be with them always and have their kids, it wuld just be see nice.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    Nobody wants to be divorced but circumstances do change sometimes. Im talking about myself here ive been divorce and now remarried.
    1st time marriage I wanted to be with him forever (at the beginning) but as I say things can change :)

    i know most people don't want to be divorced, but i know a lot of people my age who get engaged thinking 'we can always get divorced'....

    :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by legal junkie
    'we can always get divorced'....

    :rolleyes:



    :eek: thats quite sad really isnt it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by legal junkie
    i know a lot of people my age who get engaged thinking 'we can always get divorced'....

    :rolleyes:
    That's one of the things that annoys me most about some people. It makes you :mad: and :( at the same time really.

    Personally, I want to get married because it would show to me that I want to be with that person forever, and he wants to be with me forever. It's not a question of "Oh it's just a piece of paper/ring of metal". It's much more than that :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If I got married, I'd be so scared of losing that person :(

    I dunno, sometimes I just wanna live my adult life like an international playboy ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    :eek: thats quite sad really isnt it.

    :yes:

    there are no divorces in my family, and i was brought up to believe that marriage is for life.

    seems these days that's getting rarer.....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by legal junkie

    there are no divorces in my family

    I was just gonna say its the same in my family - then I remembered both my mum and dad have been married before! :rolleyes: But they were both relatively short marriages (dad: four months(!!) and mum: five years) compared to their marriage to each other - 20 years at the end of this month!

    If I got married - gotta find the right bloke first! - it would be to show the world (or whoever was interested!) that I'd found the person I want to be with forever, simple as :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by legal junkie
    i know a lot of people my age who get engaged thinking 'we can always get divorced'....

    :rolleyes:

    oh my god!! a lot of people are getting engaged at my age now just for the hell of it, saying they'll get married in a few years or something, they can always break the engagement off, but it shouldnt be like that.

    I may be young, but when (and it WILL happen... soon! :D) my fella pops the question, i will say yes because i love him and cant stand to be without him and our relationship is so unbelievably close to perfect its unreal, and we've done so well especially under circumstances... whe i say yes, it wont be in the knowledge that i can 'call it off', but in the passion and maturity of the moment i have been waiting for all my life.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    For 200 grams of sausage, I wouldn't buy the whole pig!!!

    Naw, seriously... Well I just couldn't be arsed.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    so then i can spend the rest of my life with the man that i love :Dand it comes with free pot and then i can wake up every morning and have a great day started out by arguing :D
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    Flake_MustaineFlake_Mustaine Posts: 1,261 Wise Owl
    I always thought it was a way of staying with somebody forever.. See, I got engaged to this girl and things were great.. we always knew that if we were to ever break up then it would be real nasty..

    And now that we have, i can safely say that it was nasty.. and now she won't even speak to me.. which sucks because she was my best friend... well... she was everything to me.

    *sighs* oh well.. all i can say is that people getting married should really only do so if they have the intention of going the distance.. I'm just glad we didn't have this nasty break-up in 5 or 10 years time when it could have been so much worse.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I really don't get the whole marriage thing...its so final

    Maybe if they did it on a 2-year contract or something, I'd possibly consider it
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Because I want to show in front of all my loved ones that this is the man I choose to spend eternity with, the man I love. I want to be totally committed to him.

    Also, I believe it's the best foundation for starting a family. It's more stable than just shacking up.

    I'm catholic so this does have a part to play in this. I want a church wedding, so I can commit to the person in front of my God. I think that makes it a lot more romantic, and it blesses the marriage.

    My parents divorced fifteen years ago, then they got the marriage annulled. This had no bearing on my decision as they clearly weren't right for each other. I look at each of them now and cannot believe they were once married.

    Edited to add: I also hate my surname, and I'd much rather call my other half, "husband" than "partner"

    Old fashioned to the extreme I know :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't believe in marriage for all the fluffy romantic reasons (though I s'pose, as others have said, it's a nice way of making public who you love) as I think don't think you should need to have a piece of paper or a ring to prove commitment, however I do think it has a lot of boring financial/legal advantages and becomes more relevent as kids come into the equation - because like it or not society still perceives marriage as a more 'stable' and 'responsible' environment for the bringing up of children, and I think a lot of people do look down slightly on unmarried parents.

    HOWEVER I wouldn't want to become just another divorce statistic, and I think that long iffly-wiffly engagements are a bit pointless (it's this 'ooh, look how committed to each other we are!' syndrome again, so I think my prerequisites on marriage would be having lived with my partner for a while (just to make sure we don't kill each other within 2 weeks of the Honeymoon), having got the whole jobs and stability thing sorted out, and a set date for the wedding. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Tashmania
    Personally, I want to get married because it would show to me that I want to be with that person forever, and he wants to be with me forever. It's not a question of "Oh it's just a piece of paper/ring of metal". It's much more than that :)

    Here, here.

    In my opinion, marriage is a good tradition, and it would somehow make a relationship seem complete, at least for me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Tinkabee
    i cant think of anything nicer than finding someone you totally love and adore and wanting to be with them always and have their kids, it wuld just be see nice.

    BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO DO THAT!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by byny
    BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO DO THAT!!

    I dont know if Tinkabee feels like I did, but when your married its a security thing. Like it just seals the relationship and shows everyone that you are committed and stuff like that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I see Byny's point that most of the reasons people are giving can be achieved without actually getting married.

    Personally I want to get married for purely selfish reasons, so I am not going to lie and say the usual crap. I want a gorgeous dress and I want to stand infront ot all the people I know why someone else tells the world how wonderful I am.

    I want all the people I love and care about to be in the same place at the same time and have all their energy focused on me and my husband.

    I want to drink and eat and have a laugh in a posh place with everybody then be whisked off too a far away place for a fab holiday.

    I also want to get married because I think it is easier to live with someone for years and years as a married couple - having the same name etc.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I ask the question because I just don't nderstand the concept of Marriage and Weddings...

    Why is it so important these days? I really disagree that marriage is the best institution in which to bring up kids, plenty of long term partners and divorced parents who still give their kids a good upbringing would beg to differ!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by byny
    Why is it so important these days? I really disagree that marriage is the best institution in which to bring up kids, plenty of long term partners and divorced parents who still give their kids a good upbringing would beg to differ!

    Youre right what you say, long term relationships have the same good upbringing of children as married couples do. But for some people they feel that marriage is commitment and security.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by byny
    I really disagree that marriage is the best institution in which to bring up kids, plenty of long term partners and divorced parents who still give their kids a good upbringing would beg to differ!

    I didn't say it was, I said it was perceived to be by teachers and the like. I just think when it gets to that stage you give yourself and your kids an easier ride, without a feeling of being looked down upon.

    If it wasn't for that and the legal things, I honestly wouldn't give a toss about marriage
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    But for some people they feel that marriage is commitment and security.

    Yes indeed. And I think that a lot of long term unmarried partners do not realise the legal extent to which their cohabitation can leave them up the creek without a paddle if one of the partners decides to leave or dies.

    There are benefits to getting married aside from declaring love. It can come down to mundane things like whether or not a wife gets to keep a house after the relationship ends.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mist
    There are benefits to getting married aside from declaring love. It can come down to mundane things like whether or not a wife gets to keep a house after the relationship ends.

    When we were living together (me and my hubby) we had wills drawn up purely for the reason if either of us died then the other would get to keep eveything. People DO seem to think that if their partner died they would automatically keep everything which isnt always the case.
    So thats another point to consider :)
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