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here's a dilema for you...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
you're in the middle of the amazon rainforest... there seems to be no civilisation around... you're absolutely DYING for a shit.

you think to yourself... hey... the only thing i have with me (other than the clothes on my back) is toilet roll.. there's no one else around... i can easily have a shit here.

as you bend down and realise your shit isnt quite shit... but Diarrhoea. still, you're in the middle of the amazon rainforest (and no you smart arse... there are no tribes around), who cares???

You reach for your toilet roll and suddenly realised you used it all the last time you had diarrhoea... there's absolutely none left.

SHIT! as you turned around to reach for the toilet roll... you see a huge man-eating lion (who eats women aswell) walking towards you in a very predatory manner...

what the FUCK do you do?




*dont forget you have diarrhoea falling from your ass*
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    WHERE did you come up with that situation?? I worry about you badabing :rolleyes:

    I'd use leaves instead of toilet paper. And I'd either freeze with terror at the lion, scarper, or if I were feeling clever I might try to climb a tree.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Id shit on the lion :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think I've ever had dihorrea in my life. Strange atomic bri fact there :p

    I can go for days without a shit, seriously.

    I'd never go to the Amazon anyway, too many monkeys :eek:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its all in my mind sweety... all in my mind!

    what... you'd scarper with diarrhoea falling out your ass???

    the only leaves around are stinging nettles

    me thinks you need to re-think your plan of action... you couldnt climn a tree... your shit would go all over the only pair of trousers you posses... and they have to last you for the rest of your adventure in the amazon... which you my friend... do not know the duration of
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Brian Kitten
    I don't think I've ever had dihorrea in my life. Strange atomic bri fact there :p

    I can go for days without a shit, seriously.

    I'd never go to the Amazon anyway, too many monkeys :eek:

    But for some abnormal reason you are in the amazon... you cant just decide you've never had diarrhoea either!

    You've got it now and you're in the amazon... faced with a lion!

    what the hell do you do?!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by badabing
    its all in my mind sweety... all in my mind!

    what... you'd scarper with diarrhoea falling out your ass???

    the only leaves around are stinging nettles

    me thinks you need to re-think your plan of action... you couldnt climn a tree... your shit would go all over the only pair of trousers you posses... and they have to last you for the rest of your adventure in the amazon... which you my friend... do not know the duration of

    Hmm difficult. I didn't really think about those, what was I thinking?? I'm obviously out of practice at diarrhoeaANDamazon situations... :rolleyes:

    I think I'd just freeze until the nice fwiendly lion went away, then search very hard for some leaves that weren't stinging nettles. And I know that's cheating but rules were made to be broken :p and my brain hurts.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I don't mind if the lion ate me as i am feeling very happy at the moment and want to die when I'm most happy in life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Anyway what would YOU do?? Eh???? You know the forum rules :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Find one of those bears from the Charmin adverts and borrow some off them! Alternatively let out a whistle and wait for the Andrex puppies! :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Young and sexy
    Id shit on the lion :p

    :yes: Thats what i'd do.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    WARNING:UPDATE

    UPDATE ON THE LION SITUATION

    the lion is bounding endlessly towards you in a fit of rage... you were shitting on his lion cub...

    forget about your shit... GET OUT OF THERE!

    ...you finally manage to out run the lion... god knows how cuz you're a slow and fat bastard... but anyhow... the diarrhoea has dribbled all down your only pair of trousers... but alas....

    ...there's somebody there... shhhh



    to continue this story... someone must tell me who it is that is lurking behind the bushes... seemingly searching for something
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by badabing

    what the hell do you do?!

    Trust me, I'd never be in the Amazon.

    No point worrying about shit (ahem) that aint never gonna happen :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: WARNING:UPDATE
    Originally posted by badabing

    to continue this story... someone must tell me who it is that is lurking behind the bushes... seemingly searching for something [/B]

    It's Ant and Dec because you're on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! They were searching for you because it's time for your BushTucker Trial!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Brian Kitten
    Trust me, I'd never be in the Amazon.

    No point worrying about shit (ahem) that aint never gonna happen :p

    oh you're no fun... you cant play my game again unless you buy me a baileys...!

    and if i suddenly leave... you'll have to wait for your answer and next step into the amazon adventure tomorrow children x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is it your mum lurking behind the bushes?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: WARNING:UPDATE
    Originally posted by kevlar85
    It's Ant and Dec because you're on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! They were searching for you because it's time for your BushTucker Trial!

    No but good try!

    its a fellow siter... they are also in the amazon, with shit down their trousers looking for some leaves having been chased by the lion.

    so.... you know who it is but you dont know who it is...

    now you're in a very awkward social situation... the siter has seen you and runs over to say hello... you laugh for a moment about about your *shitty* situation (:lol:), but then this siter starts to talk to you about familiar people... and familiar stories, you become increasingly aware of their personal knowledge of your life... you know they are a siter as they are wearing a thesite t-shirt and they know about everything you've ever written... however you dont know which siter.

    You begin to feel rather nervous about their knowledge of your personal life and and very anxious about the fact that you dont know who the hell they are.

    Without asking the obvious... how do you find out which siter it is you are talking to? (baring in mind you have never seen a picture of them before or heard their voice before)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by RiSe & ShInE
    :yes: Thats what i'd do.
    Definately the best answer :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Re: WARNING:UPDATE
    Originally posted by badabing
    Without asking the obvious... how do you find out which siter it is you are talking to? (baring in mind you have never seen a picture of them before or heard their voice before)
    Easy :p Ask if they have any flowers for you, if yes its RiSe & ShInE :D:lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A lion? I'd let it eat me. ;) Or perhaps I'd put up a fight because I'm a Leo and so a lion - the king of the jungle. :lol: My maine is apparently much bigger than his, so I’m sure it won’t be difficult to win. :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Re: Re: WARNING:UPDATE
    Originally posted by Young and sexy
    Easy :p Ask if they have any flowers for you, if yes its RiSe & ShInE :D:lol:

    :D:lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I guess Mobily rules this thread then,lol
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by jacaranda
    I guess Mobily rules this thread then,lol
    Hah! No chance mate :p
    Originally posted by Young and sexyEasy, ask if they've got any flowers for you, if yes its rise and shine :D:lol:
    Of course...that would only work for me, coz im special :p
    *yes i did just quote myself!*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Young and sexy
    Hah! No chance mate :p

    :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MY GOD!

    dont you people care that there's a fellow siter lost in the amazon rainforest talking to you like a madmad/woman and you dont know who the hell they are???

    and dont some smartarse say no! :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd say the other siter was you badabing:p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nope.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mobily's Ghost
    Nope.

    smartarse!
    Originally posted by RiSe & ShInE
    I'd say the other siter was you badabing

    aw thanks shiny... is that just a physic vibe you have? or was it because the other siter was talking complete shit?!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :yes: Both
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol - ciao for now - until later my siting friends :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by badabing
    MY GOD!

    dont you people care that there's a fellow siter lost in the amazon rainforest talking to you like a madmad/woman and you dont know who the hell they are???

    and dont some smartarse say no! :p

    Okay what I'd do is first say something amazingly cheesy like "Fancy seeing you here!" or "Small world isn't it?". Then I'd ask them every question about themselves apart from the obvious in the hope that they'd reveal some clue that would make me remember their name. Although my usual tactic in these situations is to go "I've got a memory like a sieve, what was your name again?"
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