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isnt anyone trying to find me?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
have you ever wandered if someone is trying to find?

or maybe you are trying to find someone?

hows it going?

anyone here adopted? have you looked for/found your real families???

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Am I missing something everyone else knows ....are you **Kat**?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Been meaning to search for my two brothers and sisters. Can never be arsed. Never mind. :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: isnt anyone trying to find me?
    Originally posted by badabing
    anyone here adopted? have you looked for/found your real families???

    *raises hand* and not yet for 2 reasons.

    not yet old enough to get the appropriate help from the chinese social services

    the chinese social services are a joke at the moment, but slowly improving.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by byny
    Am I missing something everyone else knows ....are you **Kat**?

    was! *kat*

    whys?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thought you'd disappeared thats all...belated welcome ! (You probably never went anywhere I'm just a bit dumb)

    Hows the Kid? hope you are OK.

    Did you see my other post? I can get info on people from the electoral register for you...it may be a long list but I can get it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have family id liked to find, but its all a matter of whether or not id be upsetting my close family - who are obviously the most important ones to me
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by byny
    thought you'd disappeared thats all...belated welcome ! (You probably never went anywhere I'm just a bit dumb)

    Hows the Kid? hope you are OK.

    Did you see my other post? I can get info on people from the electoral register for you...it may be a long list but I can get it.

    lol... just got karla to change my name that was all! was away for a couple of months but not long!

    yeh jaz's fine... nearly 2 now, fine and dandy thank you... fast asleep!

    i replyed to that post yeh... that'd be great if you could have a look for me! dont want you to go to too much trouble tho... but thank you for offering x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you have family that you want to find then you have to go for it. You family may be a bit upset but to be honest this is about you NOT them.
    We all deserve the right to see where we came from and if youre ready to trace your family then do it. Your current family will know at some point your going to be curious and want to know things. Id start with telling them what you want to do, dont keep it a secret because i think that would hurt them more.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh yeh i totally agree becky... but its my dad's dad i want to find.

    My dad was born when his mum was 16, and she was firced to get married to this twat. he was an abusive wanker and, put it like this, when my dad was born they used to live next moira hindley. He didnt have a very nice cvhildhood at all, and his biological father was a complete bastard probably fucked out his head all the time.

    anyway, eventually i think he was arrested or something for smashing a galss bottle around my nans head, that was when daddy was 9, and they all ran away, (byu this time there was 4 kids including my dad). She got remarried to my grandad who then adopted the kids... so my surname has changed from what it was meant to be. anyway, apparently my dads real father was quite musical, a muscian or something, and so are me and my dad, we;'re the only ones so i know theres something of him in me, and i want to see it.

    I want to ask him why... i want to know if he's sorry for all the pain and fucked-ness of my family. I want to tell him what he did.

    I know it sounds strange but there's been things happen in my life that have lead me to ask questions... things i've seen mainly, people and in one case,,, it litterally was a sign. me and my mum had been talking about him, i had asked if he was still alive and she said they didnt know. A week or so later there was a huge painted sign across the roundabout on the way to stage school, which me and my mum both saw - it said "Frank lives".

    i dont know. weird stuff like thats happened quite a lot. makes me wander if he's looking for his kids or not. Bastard.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well thats one story.........hhmmmm

    I honestly dont know what to say, you see a part of me says obviously you are better off without him. Youre better off not even trying to find him BUT on the other hand I also feel that if you dont trace him then you will always be wondering *what if*

    what do you want to come out of it? for you to have a good rant and rave at him, call him all the bastards under the sun? do you think this will help you?

    Also its true what they say "there are always two sides to a story". You only know the one side you havent heard his side of the story. Im not saying that you have been told lies but lets be truthful here it is easy to call someone all the bastards under the sun when they are no longer there. He could have possibly been an alcoholic, depressed at that time....you dont know, although it doesent make it excusable what he did but if he wasnt aware at that time what he was doing surely it must make some difference?

    All I would say is if you do decide to trace him try to think about what could happen I.E :

    He doesent want to know you
    He doesent even want to speak to you
    He may have another family who know nothing about you
    He may not be the nasty, horrible guy you expected

    But if you do track him down at least give him the benefit of the doubt and let him tell you his side, if you dont like what he tells you then yeah go ahead and tell him exactly what you think of him.

    Sorry I cant give you any better advice, but from an outsiders point of view this is the way id go with it. I do hope whatever choice you make it is the right one.

    Good luck :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i havent seen my dad for years, my choice, and sometimes i realise how weird it is that i could b passin him in the street and have no idea - i mean my own father....:eek2:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    took me years to find myself!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by morrocan roll
    took me years to find myself!

    Yeah i wondered how much longer its gonna take me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: isnt anyone trying to find me?

    *Sings*
    ...Wont somebody come take me hommmmmme...:D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by maccy
    i havent seen my dad for years, my choice, and sometimes i realise how weird it is that i could b passin him in the street and have no idea - i mean my own father....:eek2:

    So you have no photo, you havent got a clue what he looks like :eek:
    Some people tend to try and trace family when they themselves are older and married with kids. Its when they finally settle down themselves they want to know where they came from, who they look like, what habits they have etc etc.

    Maybe in time you may want to find your Dad, but there again you may just want to carry on with the life you have :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry - forgot to look on electoral register...do you think he'll still be in Manchester...I'll check tomorrow...is it frank palmer? or parker?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    WARNING...to anyone trying to find their dad. what if it's me!!!!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have actually had a long held belief that you ARE my dad ...he died of a heart attack but I wouldn't put it past him to fake his own death...If you are the name BYNY will be significant
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by morrocan roll
    WARNING...to anyone trying to find their dad. what if it's me!!!!!!

    id be glad id found my real dad if it was you rollie:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    Well thats one story.........hhmmmm

    I honestly dont know what to say, you see a part of me says obviously you are better off without him. Youre better off not even trying to find him BUT on the other hand I also feel that if you dont trace him then you will always be wondering *what if*

    what do you want to come out of it? for you to have a good rant and rave at him, call him all the bastards under the sun? do you think this will help you?

    Also its true what they say "there are always two sides to a story". You only know the one side you havent heard his side of the story. Im not saying that you have been told lies but lets be truthful here it is easy to call someone all the bastards under the sun when they are no longer there. He could have possibly been an alcoholic, depressed at that time....you dont know, although it doesent make it excusable what he did but if he wasnt aware at that time what he was doing surely it must make some difference?

    All I would say is if you do decide to trace him try to think about what could happen I.E :

    He doesent want to know you
    He doesent even want to speak to you
    He may have another family who know nothing about you
    He may not be the nasty, horrible guy you expected

    But if you do track him down at least give him the benefit of the doubt and let him tell you his side, if you dont like what he tells you then yeah go ahead and tell him exactly what you think of him.

    Sorry I cant give you any better advice, but from an outsiders point of view this is the way id go with it. I do hope whatever choice you make it is the right one.

    Good luck :)
    sorry havent been on for a while...


    yeh i understand - and this is exactly why i want to find him. i want to know why, and frankly, i think i deserve to aswell. The man who i call my grandad, who adopted my dad when he was 13, had a daughter too (i think he name was mandy or something like that). When he seperated from his daughters mother, she told their daughter he was an evil man and thus his daughter eventually said she never wanted to see him again.
    I'd love to be able to tell that woman what she missed out on, and just how great her father has been to my dad. I know this probably will never change her opinion on him, but as you say, id like her to hear his side of the story.

    I know Frank has other kids (and yes byny it is frank parker - and he could be in manchester or bristol, or anywhere for that matter but these two are most significant) who i would also like to meet and talk to, but i know this will never happen.

    Its just that little voice screaming out inside me... asking me why this man was such a bastard... i want to know why!!!!!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by badabing

    but i know this will never happen.


    NEVER say never........there are ways of tracing people but to be honest im not sure what they are, or even who you need to speak to.
    Have you tried Friends Reunited ? he could possibly have tried to trace someone himself on there. I beleive you can type a name in and it sees if anyone is registered with that name.
    Its a long shot but you just never know, unless you try :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks, thats a good idea, im going over there now x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by badabing
    thanks, thats a good idea, im going over there now x

    No probs I hope you do find something, will keep my fingers crossed for ya :)

    Let us know if you find any info.........or bring this back up in a few days and maybe someone will read and be able to give you more ideas on how to trace him :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well that didnt go TOO well. found a few of them, but i have no idea where he went to school and the info on the ones that sounded around the right age was either limited or just didnt fit the bill at all.

    But will keep looking, thanks for your help byny x
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