Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

feeling insecure

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi everyone!
i'm goin out with my boyfriend nearly 9 months and i love him so much and i trust he loves me too as he often shows and tells me, i'm so happy with him and we havn't had any major problems so far, apart from d usual little arguments but make up about 5 mins later!:)

i cant help but think its too perfect and something will go wrong! i really trust him but at the same time i'm expecting him to cheat on me or we'll just fall out of love!:(

i'm so worried about the future and if we break up that i'm finding it hard to enjoy what i have now...anyone have any suggestions on preventing me from worrying so much??:rolleyes:

thanks for any replies!;) xxx

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So many times people have posted this same thing...starting by saying ..I trust him completelt and ending saying 'I'm scared he'll cheat'

    Therefore I'd say its pretty normal.

    I remember feeling like this and now 8 years later with the same guy I don't feel it anymore. You have to be careful that any unfounded suspiciouns or concerns do not ruin your relationship.

    Is it possible that something about your relationship has changed? Has something happened to make you feel insecure.

    The worst thing you can do is keep going on at your boyfriend about your concerns because if they are unfounded that will turn him away.

    You love him, you don't want him to leave you...its normal, and hopefully he won't leave you. Try to get a grip on these feelings, perhaps spend some time being more independent - but NOT to make a point, but because you need time for you too.
    Its good to have your own interests and friends.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would advise that you tell your boyfriend your worries, just incase he feels you have been acting a little odd!

    Your relationship does not sound too perfect, it sounds like a normal and healthy one!

    Nobody can really give you any advice other than to just try and stop thinking bad things are going to happen.

    If you keep thinking these you will break down the trust you have with one another and only then might things start to fall apart!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Consider self lucky at still being in a relationship and stop worrying?

    Seriously, look at your boyfriend and ask yourself serious, do you honestly think you're going to fall out of love with him? Do you think he will cheat on you? And whatever other questions you have. I'm sure you'll find that you both love each other and want to stay together.

    Insecurity's a b*tch - you're best off without it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ive been with my man for a few years now... and im stil SO insecure.. but ive been letting it ruin our relationship, started trying to keep my distance so it wont hurt so much if he leaves, ive been expecting something bad to happen and im treating it as if somethin really is going to ruin it.

    My man picked up on it and after a heart to heart last night (complete with lots of crying on my part) he helped me ralise he has no intentions in leaving and he loves me.. and by expecting him to leave im pushing him away.. It works in a similar way to treating a kid like an adult, people act how u treat them.. if that makes sense?! I know its hard to feel secure when in the back of your mind ur feeling its to good to be true but if youre insecurites start to mean ur treating him as if youre going to lose him... you will. I know its hard hun but you (and i.... and probably most of the population) have got to learn to take each day asd it comes and not worry so much about what may or may not happen)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i feel exactly the same, my bf has just joined the navy so its even harder now but when he was home it was awful i was so nasty to him all the time, i love him too pieces and cant wait to see him in 2 weeks! just tell ur bf how you feel, and hopefully he will understand, why exactly are you insecure?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think what you are feeling is pretty normal so its not like you are the only one in the world. you should probably tell him how you feel, he is the only person who can reassure you and you never know, he might be having the same feelings too. just remember, you've made nine months so what is there to stop you going on for longer? be careful, you will miss really valuable moments if you're too busy worrying.

    Have fun, take each step as it comes.
    xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think I know what you mean I'm in what appears to be a perfect relationship and I believe that the guy I'm with is trustworthy and great for me. But although he's in love with me, I can't help worrying that things will fall apart one day. I've been in love before and got hurt so I've put up a barrier.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's a horrible feeling to have and I share it too with my girlfriend but for no good reason really. I think it must be a way of making sure that you can trust someone. Trust is earned and it's very hard to bear if someone you love betrays that trust.

    We love each other but she has been hurt before and I guess she's wary - once bitten, twice shy I guess. I am too, but for different reasons (built up from bullying when I was a kid).

    The world's a tough place and everyone has their own way of dealing with the shit it throws at them.

    Back to the point: I think it's a healthy fear to have and you will probably question your relationship for a good while and only through time and shared experience will you earn each other's trust.
Sign In or Register to comment.