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Your chance to become a Ninja

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have been contacted by NinjaHQ to recruit and train some Ninja's. All interested parties respond here and I will post your training. All questions and problems will be dealt with on-line.
First class in tomorrow morning.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wouldn't wanna embarrass ya :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    some questions:

    a) how intense will the course be

    b) will I learn how to be an ultimate ninja

    c) will it cost me money

    if the answers are easy, yes and its free, then sign me up :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by TheShyBoyInTheCorner
    some questions:

    a) how intense will the course be - Depends on your fitness level, but generally fun

    b) will I learn how to be an ultimate ninja - have to train one-on-one with a great master to become an ultimate ninjabut you will get to an acceptable limit that will allow you to complete simple assassination missions

    c) will it cost me money - Of course it is. I'm doing it out of the kindness of my heart!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i will (stealthily) kick ur ass ninja boy ;) hiiiiii yaaaaaaaaaaaaa look, i can even break bricks with my head... :headbang: well, almost! :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i wanna be a ninja



    what time tomorow
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Type R
    i wanna be a ninja

    what time tomorow

    I shall post the first stages of your training tomorrow morning around 9ish. You will then have the day to train and come back to me if you have any problems.

    The next day I shall then post the next stages and so on until you have completed your training.

    NOTE :- please come appropriately dressed. Comfy shoes (no dark soles. They mark the floor :p ) and loose clothing. Females can of course come naked if they wish ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    count me in pleeeeeeeeez!!!! :D


    *doesn't want to have to beg*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry my Lycra catsuit is in the dry cleaners :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmm....If I dont get in 2mo till about 5.00pm, can I just catch up on it then?

    i will be a ninja if I can
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I all ready do a form of Nin-Jitsu...Well, Ju-Jitsu really..Anyway...I'mma be a Guru please Master Ninja dude sir.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't have any black clothes. Can I still be a ninja?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I sign up to be a Foxy Female Ninja :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Samuti
    I sign up to be a Foxy Female Ninja :p

    Me too, we can be like Charlie's Angels! :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MMM yeah...But nude Charlie's Angels! :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Jay-O
    MMM yeah...But nude Charlie's Angels! :D

    all ninja robes must be earnt first, by hot, sweaty, girl on girl wrestling...

    ahhhh Laura hasn't been affectionate recently I'm horny :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ninja ay?

    Fraipas
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hehe Check out this ninja site:

    www.realultimatepower.net

    'Ninjas can kill anyone they want! Ninjas cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.

    If you don't believe that ninjas have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will chop your head off!!! It's an easy choice, if you ask me.

    Ninjas are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Ninjas are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start yoga next year. I love ninjas with all of my body (including my pee pee). '

    :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    um... can i sleep with all the male ninja's? it will help their training... i promise, so really its a win-win situation.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by my_name
    um... can i sleep with all the male ninja's? it will help their training... i promise, so really its a win-win situation.

    fitness test :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Apologies to all my Ninja students who were expecting to see the first stages of their training posted yesterday. Unfortunately I got called into Ninja Council and was stuck there until late last night. But I am now clear to proceed with your training. Get ready!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LMAO! Bring it on!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jumping Training

    Jumping Stage 1 - Simple jumping up and down. May sound silly but essential when trying to avoid dwarfs with swords.

    Jumping Stage 2 - Jumping from foot to foot. Has to be mastered for toilet training. Once Ninja status has been achieved trousers are tied at the waist using a 'negrop' knot. Very hard to get undone especially when bursting.

    Jumping Stage 3 - Jumping down from height. Self explainatory. Needed fom getting down from things. Start off at 3 feet and work up to 25 feet at 1 foot stages. To get up see Climbing training.

    Jumping Stage 4 - Jumping across gaps. Essential for creating suspense type moments when getting chased across rooftops. Always use a gap that looks just too big.

    Jumping Stage 5 - Jumping to wall. The last and hardest jumping stage. Take a run at a wall and jump towards it, feet first. As you make contact push backwards into a backwards somersault. This is needed when you are chased into a dead-end and can be used to jump over your opponent(s) and thus attack from behind. By doing a fancy half-twist during the somersault will result in you facing your opponent. Only perform twist when you are sure you will land in front of attackers.

    That concludes the first lesson. Any problems or questions then ask The Master...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you're a fucking fruit loop!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Eul Grepus
    you're a fucking fruit loop!!!

    True. But I am qualified, so :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    a qualified fruit loop u say?

    where would a fruit loop go to get qualified? the grand society of fighting fruit loops?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Dreamer3k
    a qualified fruit loop u say?

    where would a fruit loop go to get qualified? the grand society of fighting fruit loops?

    After Ninja School I went to Ninja College then onto Ninja University. Once I was a fully qualified Ninja I branched out into the unknown style of Fruit Loop Ninjitsu. I had to train on top of a mountain for 14 months with my master. It was hard work but I am only the second FruitLoop Ninja in the world. So :p

    Anyway get on with your training *cracks whip*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    all this talk of fruit loops is getting me hungry. Mmmm...fruit loops.

    well as much as i'd like to be a fighting fruit loop, i'm a prestigous member of the secret society of professional slackers.

    my arse is one with the couch. my fingers, one with the remote. my eyes one with the televison. :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well thanks a lot "ninja" buddy. Thanks to your expert "training" I'm now sat in hospital with a twisted spine after "jumping" into a wall. The doc said it wouldn't have been a problem except for the two broken legs I'd got earlier trying to jump that gap.

    Next time I see you I'll ninja your ass. :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just hope there's no 14 year olds reading this whilst munching on some pills and LSD who go out to try and become an 'Ultimate Ninja'.

    That would be well guttin.

    :)~
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mist
    Well thanks a lot "ninja" buddy. Thanks to your expert "training" I'm now sat in hospital with a twisted spine after "jumping" into a wall. The doc said it wouldn't have been a problem except for the two broken legs I'd got earlier trying to jump that gap.

    Next time I see you I'll ninja your ass. :p

    Ahhh. Glad you brought that up Mist. I suppose I should have given you the next lessons in tandem with the Jumping. Falling and landing lessons coming up. (After I've had my tea-break ;) )
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