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Do you think this is right???

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
The other day, my friend was writing a letter to me in, because i had just gave her a letter. well anyway...the teacher got hold of it,she took both letters and read them all, and they had loads of perosnal stuff in them. about when i shagged ricky n dat lot, well the teacher told us she was going to throw the letters in the bin, but she never she took them to the head of year, and he read them. he took us into his office n gave us a right bollocking for having under ages sex. he then startd lecturing us and shit. then he made my friend go out of his office while he spoke to me alone. he started asking me really personal questions, like was i pregnant and asking me questions like if i had come on my next period yet, then he started dicussing his sex life with me, telling me how wonderful 'n' good it is and everything. should he have been asking me personal questions like that? was it right for him to talk to me in such a way? i think if they get hold of letters they should just throw them in the bin and not say no more, don't u? and also, nowadays you can't do much things at school with out getting into trouble for it! and what makes it worse is that you can't do things outta school with out getting into trouble, and personally what goes on outside school shudn't be none of the schools business. wot do you think about it all then?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    From the sound of it he was trying to press home the importance of being careful. I would say that he is concerned about the way you might have expressed yourself in the letter and a lack of responsibility for your own health and well being that the letter showed.

    Also....shouldn't you be learning something in your lessons instead of writing letters about your sex life?

    If you want to leave school and have a relationship that excludes education then perhaps you should but I would say you might do well to listen to the advice given to you by this teacher and think about what is important.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I applaud your teacher and Headteacher for caring so much and being so concerned. They had every right to ask you personal questions if you were writing such suggestive stuff in school. If you didn't want the Spanish inquisition maybe you should have thought of that before writing about your little sex lives, although your teacher should not have deceived you like that. Be careful next time OK?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, first off, teachers are there not just to teach you in school but also to be rolemodels and try and teach you about life. This seems like an apparent attempt to do so. Secondly, the questions may have been a bit personal, and this is the dodgey bit. He may (and this is more likely), been attempting to understand what your position is, i.e. are you pregnant, are you careful, do you practise safe sex etc, and this in my opinion is ok. Is it possible you misinterpreted his talking about his sex life? He could have been referring to sex in general, as something which happens between people who love each other, are in a stable relationship (e.g. him) etc, but the chances of him divulging his sex life to you for kicks would seem slim. It might have been better if he had gotten a female guidance teacher to talk to you, or even the school nurse, but I think that teachers are within their rights to discuss things which happen outside of school but have a direct bearing on your life inside school, in that I mean you were passing notes in the classroom, but the notes point to more serious issues in your life, i.e underage sex etc, the teachers have obviously wanted to make sure than nothing else more seriuos than that would happen. Would you have rather they called your parents with something like this?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think that's way out of order...
    it's harsh enough that teachers now read notes, but to pass it on to other members of staff and have them talk to you is just way out of line...
    it's too personal and a techer shouldn't get that involved....they may have been worried, but that's a little too much. xXx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's good that they look out for your welfare.
    Assuming you've not already had one, what would you do if you popped a sprog?

    Maybe if you learned when you went to school, you'd be literate and able to type, too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by __h0t_4_u__
    i think that's way out of order...
    it's harsh enough that teachers now read notes, but to pass it on to other members of staff and have them talk to you is just way out of line...
    it's too personal and a techer shouldn't get that involved....they may have been worried, but that's a little too much. xXx

    I totally disagree....chances are that this teacher is worried about the lack of guidence your parents have given you on this matter and he feels that as your headmaster he has a responsibility to fill in the gaps your parents have left.

    I'm sure he purely discussed sex within a loving relationship as a means to get you to think about what dangers you may be placing yourself in. He may also have been hoping to embarrass you into thinking about what you are doing.

    The fact that you feel the need to write about the sex you are having at such a young age, and in the classroom, shows your imaturity and I'm sure he was merely trying to talk to you in an adult way about an adult activity.

    as someone has suggeste, perhaps getting the school nurse or a female teacher would have been better but only to protect himself from possible accusations that may be fired back by you in an attempt to punnish him for making you face up to yourself!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    who was that typing thing aimed at??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i guess you guys are right, maybe i was thinking of it from my point of view....cause i would find it reallt rude and offensive...thing is, sometimes when you talk to mates about that kinda thing, you're merely asking them what to do, it's not a matter of being mature or not :s xXx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by byny


    as someone has suggeste, perhaps getting the school nurse or a female teacher would have been better but only to protect himself from possible accusations that may be fired back by you in an attempt to punnish him for making you face up to yourself!!

    Someone? :( I'm only a someone... :crying: But yeah, this is sort of the point I was trying to make as well, because the way you worded it lil_mz_innocent could make his life very difficult, even if it is unsubstantiated. And the typing thing was aimed at lil_mz_innocent hot 4 u, so chill.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Do you think this is right???
    Originally posted by lil_mz_innocent


    The other day, my friend was writing a letter to me in, because i had just gave her a letter


    loads of perosnal stuff in them.

    but she never

    having under ages sex.

    and not say no more, don't u



    Sorry Kingof Glasgow...I'm crap at names and not too great at typing either as my last post demonstrates.....anyway....just to show Hot 4 u what you mean about the typing... See above for edited highlights ....its the grammar I object to :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah for writing the grammar is pretty bad, but for speech it's probably ok. E-mail is a funny medium for communication coz it's sort of speech, sort of writing, but not quite either... Anyway innocent, it's good to see that you've sort of come around to our point of view :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i write things in letters because its more private, this has never happened before. i didn't feel comfortable because firstly he was male, and i don't think it's any of his business in what i do out of school. and he can't tell me what to do with my life when i'm outta school, basically because it's my life, not his. i wudn't b bothered really if he carried on lecturing me, but he didn't he was asking me personal questions, to be honest i don't think he's got no right at all to be asking them to me.
    i'm sorry about my typing, because on here you are not allowed to use text chat or anything. and sometimes i kind a forget, and because i type kind a fast, i don't realize what i have done until it's been posted. sorry.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the reason why i posted this post in the first place was because i think he's bang out of order for doing that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well as has been pointed out, he's probably not... If you feel so strongly about it, bring it up with your guidance teacher, but this teacher was looking out for you, and regardless of whether you think what you do outside of school does not matter to how you are treated inside of school, just wait until you end up pregnant or something. Ok, he maybe shouldn't have lectured you the way he did, but he did, so get over it. And it would have been the same story if the note was about your parents abusing you, or you taking drugs, or you getting mugged at the weekend, or something else, so don't think you've been singled out because you had underage sex. And I think that the teachers would have a profession right to intervene anyway, because what you are doing is illegal, regardless of whether you think it is right or not...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think the teacher should have read what you were writing but she should have shredded it and put it in the bin. You were in a lesson and you shouldn't have been doing what you were doing.

    Your teacher wasn't telling you how to run your life, he was looking out for you. He had every right to ask you those personal questions, he wasn't being pervy or anything, he was probably really embarrassed about it.

    If you were that bothered you could have refused to answer his questions, or simply stated that you didn't want to have the conversation with him.

    Or, you could go home and tell your parents that you were writing letters in class, what was in the letter and how the teachers responded. I am sure that the way the headmaster spoke to you would have been the last thing on their minds after that!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Do you think this is right???
    Originally posted by lil_mz_innocent
    and also, nowadays you can't do much things at school with out getting into trouble for it!

    I'm sorry, but I don't agree with that statement at all! I might sound really old here, but count yourself lucky that they don't use the cane anymore! :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by lil_mz_innocent
    the reason why i posted this post in the first place was because i think he's bang out of order for doing that.

    No he's not. He's living up to the school's responsibility to try to encourage their kids to be good citizens - IE not break the law in any fashion.

    You chose to write down stuff about your sex life and pass it around in class. If you don't want the teachers to question you about it, then why don't *you* keep it out of class instead of expecting the teachers to ignore their moral obligation?

    The questions were personal because you wrote about sex. If you had wrote "me and ricky has a great night the other night we all smoked loads of pot and did crack cocain" then the questions would probably have been about misuse of drugs. You bring this stuff on yourself and have to accept the responsibility that goes along with it.

    Maybe if you are mature enough to be having sex, then you should be mature enough not to write letters about it, pass them around in class and then whinge when a teacher sees them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mist


    No he's not. He's living up to the school's responsibility to try to encourage their kids to be good citizens - IE not break the law in any fashion.

    You chose to write down stuff about your sex life and pass it around in class. If you don't want the teachers to question you about it, then why don't *you* keep it out of class instead of expecting the teachers to ignore their moral obligation?

    The questions were personal because you wrote about sex. If you had wrote "me and ricky has a great night the other night we all smoked loads of pot and did crack cocain" then the questions would probably have been about misuse of drugs. You bring this stuff on yourself and have to accept the responsibility that goes along with it.

    Maybe if you are mature enough to be having sex, then you should be mature enough not to write letters about it, pass them around in class and then whinge when a teacher sees them.

    Agrees. :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Write a very thought up letter about two teachers, i.e. they are having an affair, leave it on someones desk as you walk out...

    :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds like an invasion of privacy. If she took them to control the class...I'd say fine. But why not just give the note back to you after class and say you need to pay attention in class.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by pnjsurferpoet
    Sounds like an invasion of privacy. If she took them to control the class...I'd say fine. But why not just give the note back to you after class and say you need to pay attention in class.
    Not really. The teacher is still human, and everybody is nosy. I would have read it, no matter how professional the situation called for me to be, I know I would have read it.

    I would have read it to teach her a lesson, to make a point that she shouldn't have been doing it in my class and most of all because I would think she was a rude little shit who had no respect for authority.

    If I was feeling particularly malicious I would have read it out infront of the class! :cool:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "From the sound of it he was trying to press home the importance of being careful. I would say that he is concerned about the way you might have expressed yourself in the letter and a lack of responsibility for your own health and well being that the letter showed."

    "Also....shouldn't you be learning something in your lessons instead of writing letters about your sex life?"

    "If you want to leave school and have a relationship that excludes education then perhaps you should but I would say you might do well to listen to the advice given to you by this teacher and think about what is important."

    "I applaud your teacher and Head teacher for caring so much and being so concerned. They had every right to ask you personal questions if you were writing such suggestive stuff in school."

    "Ok, first off, teachers are there not just to teach you in school but also to be role models and try and teach you about life."

    "It's good that they look out for your welfare."

    I agree wholeheartedly with the above comments. Would it be moral for the teachers not to care and to tolerate your behaviour, and to essentially say 'ok, dear, nice one! You've done me proud. But next time ensure you get pregnant'? No, of course not. That is wholly immoral.
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