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think i'm jealous of my boyfriends friends,need advice :-(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey everyone!
i've been goin out with my boyfriend for 7 months and we have a great relationship, we love each other so much but theres one little problem.

He has alot of friends that are girls and he's known them years before me, i cant help but get kinda jealous when he goes to see them, i keep imagining that hes talkin to them bout me and hes sharing things with them that he normally shares with me.

i've talked to him about this and hes been really understanding bout it but cant really get what im saying.
i told him its my problem and i'll try my best to deal with it.
it just hurts so much thinkin of how close he is to them even though i know he'd never look at them more than a mate.

when i'm at home and he's in their house, i feel like he's abandonned me and i really miss him!

sorry for babbling on so much, just trying to get my feelings out!

if anyone has any advice or suggestions for me to make me not feel so jealous and paranoid, please let me know!
i dont want this to be a problem when it really isnt anything bad!

thanks everyone! :)

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know how you feel. But a relationship is supposed to have trust in it and if you don't feel you can trust your boyfriend after going out with him this long then perhaps you should call it a day. But if you are really in love with him as you claim you are then just stick with the relationship, you will probably find out sooner or later whether he's been cheating on you. Which he may not have at all. Don't start accusing him of things he may or may not have done, it doesn't look good on your part. Good luck and hope things work out they should do.:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My girlfriend and I, both have a lot of friends, from before we met each other, guys and girls alike. And i know exactly what ur talking about. I get insanely jealous when she starts having long conversations with male friends while we are out, i get this thing inside me telling me shes ignoring me (which she isnt) and i go nuts.
    The best thing i do i just say to myself, at the end of the night, shes going home with me, and i trust her, she wont do anything "naughty" LoL

    Hope this helps
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To a certain extent I agree with jacaranda and Eul Grepus that you should be able to trust him, but I also feel very sorry for you - when you say 'when I'm at home and he's round at their houses' it just makes me think, well why couldn't she go too?

    Maybe you should talk to your boyfriend and ask to meet his friends - if you all go out together and you feel more involved then you hopefully won't be so jealous and left out. It's unfair of him to go off and leave you for his friends too often; when you're in a relationship, you do have to think about your 'other half' and how they might feel when you see other people of the opposite sex, even if they are only friends.

    On the other hand, you should also ensure you see your other friends a lot, and don't find yourself in a situation where you're at home alone and he's out with other people; remember there are other people in your life too!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have this problem... My boyfriend sees his friends all the time, and he gets drunk/high at parties where there are girls who are also drunk/high... I always worry that in a drunken mood something will happen... Even normally, when I know he's at school and with girls all around him I get really jealous. It's really not good and certainly not a positive influence on the relationship, but it comes with the long distance thing I guess...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by perfect***day
    but I also feel very sorry for you - when you say 'when I'm at home and he's round at their houses' it just makes me think, well why couldn't she go too?
    On the other hand, you should also ensure you see your other friends a lot, and don't find yourself in a situation where you're at home alone and he's out with other people; remember there are other people in your life too!

    Imagine spending all your time with your boyfriend!! or your boyfriend spending all his time with you...

    He should be allowed time away from you, but he should also be prepared to introduce you to these people and I'd be really surprised if he hasn't already!! Has he?

    I do sympathise but you have to accept that not all female to male friendships end in sexual attraction. ..however, there are some predatory females out there who may try to steal your bloke. The question is...will he allow himself to be stolen?
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