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whhhhhhyyyyyyyyy??????
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok, so i did it, it was the biggest anticlimax of my life.
firstly he came before he got anywhere near going in, so we had to start over.
then, when we finally got down to it, i didnt actually feelanything it didnt hurt at all, i didnt bleed (not that i was expecting to, i broke ages ago) but i was expecting to feel something
the thing is, its not like hes small, in fact he's pretty big.
i wasn't at all nervous so it wasnt that.
has anyone else had anything like this or is it just me?
by the way, in case you didnt realize, it was mine (and his) first time.
and i felt really sorry for him cos he was obviously really trying and very upset.
firstly he came before he got anywhere near going in, so we had to start over.
then, when we finally got down to it, i didnt actually feelanything it didnt hurt at all, i didnt bleed (not that i was expecting to, i broke ages ago) but i was expecting to feel something
the thing is, its not like hes small, in fact he's pretty big.
i wasn't at all nervous so it wasnt that.
has anyone else had anything like this or is it just me?
by the way, in case you didnt realize, it was mine (and his) first time.
and i felt really sorry for him cos he was obviously really trying and very upset.
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i'm sorry, i cant explain why you didnt feel anything... all I can tell you is that you and your boyf have to alk about this, and maybe take things more slowly. like if he comes again before sex, dont take it as a nuisance or anything, just go with it. enjoy it!
try different things, see if you can find something you like.
Good luck
and remember - the 1st time is rarely perfect - it can only get better
he told me how upset he was that i wasnt enjoying it, and we'd probably talk about it more, but im going to italy for a couple of days tomorow so i cant really yet.
Ah, now you see what everybody means about sex not being all it's cracked up to be. Now you see why everybody says it isn't. You see, it isn't some great conspiracy against virgins to tell them they're not missing that much, or some great tease by telling them it's great and that they're missing out.
The good news is that it will get better. It's like riding a bike - except you don't get chased by small yappy dogs and fall off grazzing your knees and elbows - Instead you can now do doggy style, and get carpet burns on your elbow and knees.
Mr_Wobble
At least you know you've got to talk about it. And that you've got to tell/show him what you like.
Mr_Wobble
It's odd that you don't feel anything in oral etc, but then there's times, especially if I really want to that I don't. Also I don't tend to if the person I'm having sex with means nothing to me. I will rarely in fact have only ever once orgasmed when doing things with people I don't care for. I'm not saying you don't for your b/f, but just that maybe you're not as relaxed as you perhaps think with him.
As for feeling things during sex, do you mean you couldn't even feel it going in, or you couldn't feel any climaxing happening? It is hard for a lot of females to orgasm through sex, but different positions will make things feel better.
Maybe try using toys, either on your own or with your b/f, just see how vibrators work, you could combine the two things into one.
Personally I think you will find next time things very different, you probably had preconceptions of what sex was going to be like, heightened by many of us going on about how good sex is, but in some ways sex isn't either. It isn't the great earth moving thing that people talk about it like everytime, in fact very rarely is it that good. But remember it can only get better. Discuss it with your b/f and just experiment. You'll find ways it will feel good. What position did you use btw?
misionary, alternating who was on top, it didnt last very long cos we thought someone came in the front door:(
anyways, i talked to him about it before i went away and it made it worse and now he's all 'i ruined your first time' when actually, he didnt at all, but now hes getting all low self esteem...
guys! pah!
Do you masterbate?if you do show him what you like to be done to you, it was his firts time aswell so i doubt he has much of a clue as to what you like,its just teaching him,it wil get better if you talk to him about what you like and dont like, also if you make a few incouraging noises when he does do something you like this will make him feel better, and you will also be getting the pleasure from it.
Good luck:)
i think hes alright about the whole cock up (no pun intended) now so ya know...
yeh but thats not the point, the point is you shouldbe enjoying sex.
you're probably not as comfortable as you think/say you are.
or maybe your mind is elsewhere.
im pretty sure you'd feel something , even if it wasnt a nice feeling.
i dunno, you need to go back to the basics if you ask me, loosen up together a bit first, enjoy foreplay and all that, then when you can enjoy walking, maybe you'll be able to enjoy running.
i didnt feel anything at all during my first time and i didnt get an orgasm during sex til 2 months ago! all i can say is practice makes perfect!
i think your body just learns things as ya go along and ya soon begin to love sex the more ya do it
so dont worry about it at all hun! my boyfriend was the same by the way! just give him little compliments now and then if hes doin somethin u like, it will give him the confidence to keep doin it and try different things!
hope i helped darlin! xx