First time sex - Advice needed

Former Member

Ok - Me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 months and love each. We started to talk about sex together, I went on the pill and he got some condoms. We decided to have sex on Friday night.

There were builders round his house and they didn't leave for ages and I guess he was a little stressed - but we both seemed happy enough and ready even though we didn't have as much time as we would have liked.

It was all fine, we had put the condom on and he was almost entering me when he just went soft. We tried again a few mins later when I had got him erect again.

Do you just think it is the time and stress issues that he didn't preform? Because he did seem to be enjoying the rest of it and he never has any problems keeping it up when we do oral or manual...

Also, if anyone has any tips on how to keeping him hard? I'm sure that if i could just make sure he enters me properly he would have no problems from there. We are goin to try again a week on monday when gets back off his hols so hopefully he will be less stressed then...

Former Member

hes nervous. tease him. like for maybe half hour or so. or let him tease you. or tease each other. ooh, get some silky fabric and tie him to a bed and just play with him. straddle his chest and let him watch you finger yourself. that will certainly get him excited. get him horny then you can do it. be careful cos he might not last long then though

sorry if I sound a bit pervy but trust me that will turn him on. need to get him more horny than sense... but still be careful about condoms...

Former Member

they sound good ideas

I did try and turn him on a bit with some nawty talk, manual and stuff like that. And he was hard, it's just he lost it when we got close to being inside.

But i do admit that we were too rushed anyway... Still only got a week to wait to try again... this time with all the time in the world

Former Member

try to be having foreplay like for half an hour before penetration. kill him with the tension!

Former Member

Hi JO
Your boyfriends problem is purely down to nerves. He might seem all confident but inside his still going to be very nervous. Its a male thing that keeps us from showing our nerves so we try and keep up the bravado.
I know this because its happened to me and i wasnt even a virgin. It was becuase it was a new gf who was a virgin and i felt nervous for both of us. The added pressure of me having to perform and her being a virgin meant i lost the momentum. Also a guy can lose his boner when putting a condom on, this has happened quite a few times.
Hope that helps

oh btw if he does happen to lose it again just tell him its ok because he will probably be well embarrased and feel that his letting you down

Former Member

Yea be very reassuring but dont laugh!!! He will probably be very sensitive (as in emotional wise ) so tread carefully. Say to him it's ok. You can probably think of how to word it better than me. But don't rush it. First time, draw it out, you are exploring each others bodies practically. It should be.. like oh my god ill remember this day forever, not a 10 minute quickie.