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Antigravity!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Antigravity: The Feline Butterology Theory

If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will fall on the floor butter-side down. If a cat is dropped from a window or other high and towering place, it will land on its feet.

But what if you attach a buttered piece of bread, butter-side up to a cat's back and toss them both out the window? Will the cat land on its feet? Or will the butter splat on the ground?

Even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself you should be able to deduce the obvious result. The laws of butterology demand that the butter must hit the ground, and the equally strict laws of feline aerodynamics demand that the cat can not smash its furry back. If the combined construct were to land, nature would have no way to resolve this paradox. Therefore it simply does not fall.

That's right, you clever mortal (well, as clever as a mortal can get), you have discovered the secret of antigravity! A buttered cat will, when released, quickly move to a height where the forces of cat-twisting and butter repulsion are in equilibrium. This equilibrium point can be modified by scraping off some of the butter, providing lift, or removing some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent.

Most of the civilized species of the Universe already use this principle to drive their ships while within a planetary system. The loud humming heard by most sighters of UFOs is, in fact, the purring of several hundred tabbies.

The one obvious danger is, of course, if the cats manage to eat the bread off their backs they will instantly plummet. Of course the cats will land on their feet, but this usually doesn't do them much good, since right after they make their graceful landing several tons of red-hot starship and cheesed-off aliens crash on top of them.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol: thats funny
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LMAO :lol: woo for the kitties!

    does my kitty count? cause he never lands on his feet cause hes a retard
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol: LOL!!!!
    I sincerely hope you haven't tried this experiment yourself!!
    PS does the same go for cream cheese?
    :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol: LMAO ... :lol:

    Utter classic that one .... there's a follow up to this one as well involving a monorail made from cats, curry sauce and shag pile carpeting ..... Totally mad .... and quite frightening that someone's actually sat there and thought about this :eek: ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by PositivePain

    PS does the same go for cream cheese?

    Now that's just silly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    John Peel's Radio 4 show "Home Truths" did quite a piece about this a few weeks ago...

    Pissed myself laughing then too...
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