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Big Kid Nursery Rhymes

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm sure many of you would have seen these on email, but hey!, a good way to start a Friday!


Mary had a little skirt with splits right up the sides
And every time that Mary walked the boys could see her thighs
Mary had another skirt twas split right up the front
...but she didn't wear that one very often

Mary had a little lamb. Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her, between two chunks of bread.

Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill And now there's little Franky.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept beside her, But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own.

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's bum
and turned it's wool to nylon

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman, What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon, Pies, you d.ickhead.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men, Said "F*ck him,
He's only an egg

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.

Mary Mary quite contrary, Trim your minge - it's far too hairy!

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